I went to visit the bridge I was planning to jump off

[returntothevoid]

It's about 200 ft below deck above water, I thought it was going to work but once I drove there I realized that there's literally no way for a pedestrian to get on the fucking bridge, despite there being a narrow sidewalk on either side of it.

Like there's no place I can park near the bridge and walk up to the highest point because around it is all car infrastructure and there's no way a pedestrian could walk all the way up to the point where the sidewalk starts because it's all cars and roads AROUND the bridge.

Really damn frustrating, just venting randomly. I really thought I'd found my method but now I have to keep looking.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

i'm sorry u didn't get the outcome u wanted. jumping's my method too & finding the perf spot's damn near impossible. but that's what test runs are for :) to make sure that everything'll go as smoothly & fatally as possible.

i've been on 3 test runs myself. the 3rd one was supposed to be the real thing & not a test run, but i chickened out :// ofc. have u found a way to overcome the SI yet?? it feels like a physical barrier i can't pass, def much stronger w jumping.

 

[returntothevoid]

i'm sorry u didn't get the outcome u wanted. jumping's my method too & finding the perf spot's damn near impossible. but that's what test runs are for :) to make sure that everything'll go as smoothly & fatally as possible.

i've been on 3 test runs myself. the 3rd one was supposed to be the real thing & not a test run, but i chickened out :// ofc. have u found a way to overcome the SI yet?? it feels like a physical barrier i can't pass, def much stronger w jumping.

I have very little SI, mostly I'm just in my planning and logistics stage to make sure I don't survive. Sorry I can't really help you with that. I think if you have enough SI that it's interfering there's some little part of you that still wants to live. I just see my CTB as a very calculated and rational decision, I guess that's my advice if you really want to do it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel so frustrated but anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, best of luck.

 

[TAW122]

I'm sorry to hear about that, and yeah the survival instinct is such a pain in the ass, nevermind the many barriers (and evermore prevalent around major structures) erected just to prevent people from ending their suffering. We do live in such a prohibitive and paternalistic world when it comes to bodily autonomy, especially the right to die.

 

[schizochicken]

i feel like we are thinking of the same bridge. I visited it as well and SI kicked in. Couldnt do it. Was driving on the bridge at night when less cars were on it, and even slowed down at the part of the bridge that seemed to be the highest ready to make the jump. :/ never did though

 

[returntothevoid]

i feel like we are thinking of the same bridge. I visited it as well and SI kicked in. Couldnt do it. Was driving on the bridge at night when less cars were on it, and even slowed down at the part of the bridge that seemed to be the highest ready to make the jump. :/ never did though

That would be crazy if it was the same bridge but I highly doubt it is, I live in a very small state and it's pretty busy even at night