Venting I went to my planned CTB Location and now I don’t know how to feel.

[rllysuper]

Tonight I drove to my planned CBT spot just to get a feel for the atmosphere. It's a crappy lake I grew up swimming in, and I have so many memories associated with it.

It feels weird thinking about how this might be my final destination. It made me think of all of the reasons I want to CBT and all the reasons I don't, and if I can still be "saved". I'm honestly not sure. Maybe I'm back on the fence, but I'd like to still have the option.



The photos don't do it justice. I think it's more beautiful like this; at night and with snow on the ground. I feel like I can find peace here. It's quiet, devoid of people, and you can see the stars when it gets really dark. I just need to make sure I dress warm enough.

I also called 988 because I've never called before. I don't think calling helped much; I was too choked up to thoroughly explain my situation and I was a bit paranoid that she would call emergency services on me. Because of that, her advice was very surface level, but I appreciate the effort. Still, I don't think it made me feel any differently.

 

[Gangrel]

it is beautiful indeed

 

[parasite_eve]

Looks like a sublime peaceful spot, I think good on you taking time to reflect whatever you decide <3

 

[lost_one]

Tonight I drove to my planned CBT spot just to get a feel for the atmosphere. It's a crappy lake I grew up swimming in, and I have so many memories associated with it.

It feels weird thinking about how this might be my final destination. It made me think of all of the reasons I want to CBT and all the reasons I don't, and if I can still be "saved". I'm honestly not sure. Maybe I'm back on the fence, but I'd like to still have the option.

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The photos don't do it justice. I think it's more beautiful like this; at night and with snow on the ground. I feel like I can find peace here. It's quiet, devoid of people, and you can see the stars when it gets really dark. I just need to make sure I dress warm enough.

I also called 988 because I've never called before. I don't think calling helped much; I was too choked up to thoroughly explain my situation and I was a bit paranoid that she would call emergency services on me. Because of that, her advice was very surface level, but I appreciate the effort. Still, I don't think it made me feel any differently.

Sorry for how you feel, the place it trully beautiful

 

[rllysuper]

Looks like a sublime peaceful spot, I think good on you taking time to reflect whatever you decide <3

Thank you :-)

 

[OTanerd]

Tonight I drove to my planned CBT spot just to get a feel for the atmosphere. It's a crappy lake I grew up swimming in, and I have so many memories associated with it.

It feels weird thinking about how this might be my final destination. It made me think of all of the reasons I want to CBT and all the reasons I don't, and if I can still be "saved". I'm honestly not sure. Maybe I'm back on the fence, but I'd like to still have the option.

View attachment 158803
View attachment 158802
The photos don't do it justice. I think it's more beautiful like this; at night and with snow on the ground. I feel like I can find peace here. It's quiet, devoid of people, and you can see the stars when it gets really dark. I just need to make sure I dress warm enough.

I also called 988 because I've never called before. I don't think calling helped much; I was too choked up to thoroughly explain my situation and I was a bit paranoid that she would call emergency services on me. Because of that, her advice was very surface level, but I appreciate the effort. Still, I don't think it made me feel any differently.

It is truly a beautiful place.

 

[Autumn_Stars]

.Because of the time of year there's less chance of a family finding your corpse.

 

[mango000]

looks very beautiful and peaceful. i think its good to take time to reflect, i hope you find peace with whatever you decide <3

 

[frailcoffee]

Tonight I drove to my planned CBT spot just to get a feel for the atmosphere. It's a crappy lake I grew up swimming in, and I have so many memories associated with it.

It feels weird thinking about how this might be my final destination. It made me think of all of the reasons I want to CBT and all the reasons I don't, and if I can still be "saved". I'm honestly not sure. Maybe I'm back on the fence, but I'd like to still have the option.

View attachment 158803
View attachment 158802
The photos don't do it justice. I think it's more beautiful like this; at night and with snow on the ground. I feel like I can find peace here. It's quiet, devoid of people, and you can see the stars when it gets really dark. I just need to make sure I dress warm enough.

I also called 988 because I've never called before. I don't think calling helped much; I was too choked up to thoroughly explain my situation and I was a bit paranoid that she would call emergency services on me. Because of that, her advice was very surface level, but I appreciate the effort. Still, I don't think it made me feel any differently.

Oh those photos are absolutely lovely. I hope peace finds you soon. Best of luck.

 

[nothingbutmybest]

It's nice, quite nice