I was too open with the psychiatrist and now regret it

[w1ngedpearl]

I went to the psychiatrist today for the first time in my life. I shared a lot of thoughts and facts during the session. I couldn't stop talking because this was probably the only person in my life who could listen to all this shit and understand me somehow. However, I made a mistake of mentioning suicidal thoughts. I tried to be careful, told that I have them but it's just thoughts and I won't follow them, am scared to actually do it and don't have any method to use. The psychiatrist was nice, calm and understanding but she told me "Actually, now I should call an ambulance to hospitalize you but I won't do that". The doc explained that she's against hospitalization because she believes it doesn't help. But she warned me that if she thinks I'm in danger then she will issue a referral for hospitalization. I obviously don't feel easy after that claim. No way I will ever want to be hospitalized, we all know how people are treated there. To sum up, the psychiatrist told me to do MRI and a couple of other tests, then make an appointment to discuss the results and further treatment.

I need advices. Should I go to that doc again? How should I talk about suicidal thoughts without the risk of hospitalization? I think I shouldn't talk about them at all. Maybe I should lie somehow. I'm so sick of this shit. Can't even talk freely without receiving threats.

 

[fedup1982]

You absolutely did the right thing. Because hospitals are extremely expensive, and depriving someone of freedom is a very serious thing, they won't hospitalise you unless you say you're actively planning. Ive been seeing many psychiatrists over 23 years and they're all the same. They won't hospitaluse you if you dont have active plans to harm yourself imminently.

Yes, go to that doc again.

Just dont say you have actual ideas on how to kill yourself that you want to use and are available.

This is how you get help. You have to tell them that you are having suicidal thoughts.

Another way to reassure them that you dont need hospital is to say what is keeping you here, e.g. you dont want to hurt family. This would be a very important consideration for them as to why you're not in immediate risk of harming yourself .

So say: two things, firstly I dont have any methods that could work, so i have no plans to end my life. Second, I dont want to hurt family so that's another reason I'm not going g to kill myself. I just have these thoughts a lot about not wanting to exist and I fantasise about suicide, it's just not something that's on the cards though

 

[58Alice85]

I would never go to a psychiatrist, it isn't a trusting relationship, they can cause involuntary hospitalisations, have you put on lists with the cops, ruin your brain with their pills.
Also sure in a lot of countries they are used to destroy politically undesirable persons.

 

[w1ngedpearl]

Yes, go to that doc again.

Just dont say you have actual ideas on how to kill yourself that you want to use and are available.

This is how you get help. You have to tell them that you are having suicidal thoughts.

Thank you. I told the doc that I actually don't want to kill myself — only want to live the other way but it seems hard to achieve, and so on. I explained it's just thoughts and I don't have any method. She said that suicidal thoughts without intention to do is still a reason to be hospitalized. :^) Now I'm scared to go to her again.

I would never go to a psychiatrist, it isn't a trusting relationship, they can cause involuntary hospitalisations, have you put on lists with the cops, ruin your brain with their pills.
Also sure in a lot of countries they are used to destroy politically undesirable persons.

I agree with you. Tbh, I didn't want to go there. However, my life became so fucked up that I couldn't continue to live alone. I had to return to my mom's house and now have to get therapy just to keep an illusion that I "try to fix" something. In reality, I want to be able to rest and don't want to work. I would've never gone to a doc if I was independent.
It really sucks. I don't trust psychiatrists, I became emotional and told too much, my bad. There's no way I will tell that again. I'll lie that it's better.