Venting I was stupid and reached out to a hotline last night

[sisyphean-nightmare]

Not even a suicide hotline, a regular hotline. I should have known better, but it's the anniversary of my therapy trauma tomorrow and I don't know how to handle it and just needed someone to talk to.

I told the person what had happened, how I went to the private practising therapist who abused me because the public mental health services has abused me, which I went to because I was abused in childhood and then later by domestic violence. How I have lost just about everything important in my life in a year, how my ability to trust and experience human intimacy is completely shattered, how I've lost my income, how most of my friends fucked off (one of them in a very cruel way), how I hVe nowhere to turn and how I plan to CTB. They're not allowed to tell anyone what you tell them, no matter what you say to them (to the point you could confess to murder) so I figured it would be safe.

The person responds "I would like to advise you to go back to the mental health services."

Thank you. I have literal PTSD from seven years of psychiatric abuse and before then 13 years of having to carry around a misdiagnosis that infantilized me, turned my mother against me, had teachers assault me and completely broke my identity development. But thank you, very much. Oh wise one. I'll definitely give that another go. In fact, I quite enjoy getting pieces of my sould chewed up and spat out on the floor.

Now I feel worse. My date is in August, I'm seriously considering changing it to something earlier.

 

[Kalista]

sorry you got an insensitive advice from some ignorant volunteer. worse if that person is a professional. either way, didn't help with anything.

i wish you well with your plan when the time comes.

 

[sugarh1gh]

Yeah the hotlines hires volunteers which they never really provide big help. Only thing they can really say is "here are the resources" or "I am so sorry that happened".

 

[Dark Window]

Not even a suicide hotline, a regular hotline. I should have known better, but it's the anniversary of my therapy trauma tomorrow and I don't know how to handle it and just needed someone to talk to.

I told the person what had happened, how I went to the private practising therapist who abused me because the public mental health services has abused me, which I went to because I was abused in childhood and then later by domestic violence. How I have lost just about everything important in my life in a year, how my ability to trust and experience human intimacy is completely shattered, how I've lost my income, how most of my friends fucked off (one of them in a very cruel way), how I hVe nowhere to turn and how I plan to CTB. They're not allowed to tell anyone what you tell them, no matter what you say to them (to the point you could confess to murder) so I figured it would be safe.

The person responds "I would like to advise you to go back to the mental health services."

Thank you. I have literal PTSD from seven years of psychiatric abuse and before then 13 years of having to carry around a misdiagnosis that infantilized me, turned my mother against me, had teachers assault me and completely broke my identity development. But thank you, very much. Oh wise one. I'll definitely give that another go. In fact, I quite enjoy getting pieces of my sould chewed up and spat out on the floor.

Now I feel worse. My date is in August, I'm seriously considering changing it to something earlier.

Hello, when you say psychiatric abuse do you mean bad experiences on meds?

 

[Worndown]

You might get better advice here!
I am sorry you got the untrained call center.

 

[phlid]

They probably didn't know what else to say. I'm not trying to say anyone was in the "right" or "wrong" but maybe ease some frustration you may be holding from that interaction. There's a good chance that after that phone call, they were going through their head of how they could've handled that differently. Regardless, I hope you find what you're looking for and what's right for you, whatever that may be.

 

[sisyphean-nightmare]

Hello, when you say psychiatric abuse do you mean bad experiences on meds?

Partly. I was almost killed by an antipsychotic in a ward once and I was left alone. They refused to call a doctor, just left me in my room with a pitcher of cordial. Couldn't even walk. I've also been misdiagnosed, gaslit, emotionally abused, verbally and neglected. Plus there's the secondary traumatization of having to see and hear things they did to other people.

Yeah the hotlines hires volunteers which they never really provide big help. Only thing they can really say is "here are the resources" or "I am so sorry that happened".

I'd gladly take the "I am so sorry that happened", that's why I contacted them. They aren't even supposed to give advise.

They probably didn't know what else to say. I'm not trying to say anyone was in the "right" or "wrong" but maybe ease some frustration you may be holding from that interaction. There's a good chance that after that phone call, they were going through their head of how they could've handled that differently. Regardless, I hope you find what you're looking for and what's right for you, whatever that may be.

I'm over it now. I'm just so sick and tired of people with mental health service trauma having our experiences minimized time and time again. That wasn't the first time I've heard it, after having explained that I'm in this situation because of them.