I was so wrong

[FireFox]

I was wrong the part of me that wanted to live was only temporay

I am going to be living in the same town , going to same church , living same house with my family forever . I feel trapped and powerless to change my life.

I turn 23 next week and my life is a massive failure.
I have no proper support system to help me live. I dont know how live.

My family dont listen. They think the answer is pray and trust God. They believe in the after life and it all this bullshit that i have to go through is part of a bigger plan. All ever was taught to pray and leave it to Gods hands. I believe in God but i still feel trapped and want my problems to go away
My friends live too far away and have thier own lives
There no jobs due to covid19.
The longer i am unemployed the less employers will want me
I cant do it anymore
It turns out my family are not disappointed in me . I am just stressed and seeing sense.
Everyday is just the same
I dont want to see the next 10 year
Why did i have be first born child ?
It sucks
There is no one to guide me through anything.
I wish i grew up fast so i will be able to cope with all this as i dont know anything more.
I dont care anymore life is an awful race which i no longer want to be a part of

 

[Alec]

I turned 23 this last February. And I feel EXACTLY the same way, or almost exactly the same way as you. I also live with my mother(only close family) and I can't take it. For me it's hell because she is incredibly toxic, I hope for you it's better. But yeah, my mother doesn't listen too, ever. And I don't a job too, and can't even find one because of covid and everything is stopped and after it all opens up there still probably won't be new jobs because the economy will fall I don't know it might be so I don't know anything, but don't take my word for it? Plus I don't have any experience, I've never worked before. I'm an immigrant and I was working on my residence and work permit, and I just got it and now it's a lockdown but if I'm honest I think I'm very lucky because I don't know how to deal with a job hunting and then a job right now. Honestly all of this is too much, I can't take the world. I really really hope things work out for you!

Love,
—Alec.