I was holding back tears during class and lunch today

[guineapiglover8503]

i started thinking about when i almost ctb and when a friend almost did and then i started tearing up and had to force myself to keep it together during lunch. It was so hard but I did it and i had a study hall after. I just then broke down bawling wanting my pain to end because im not able to hide my emotions one bit anymore and immediately after the study hall i had class so i had to keep it together. it was so hard. I have been wanting to find a source irl to try some tabs and x because I want something to make the pain go away even just for a bit, and i really hope i can find someone. alcohol isnt good enough and its hurt me more than its helped me.

 

[Depressive_Thoughts]

Me too... and my girlfriend know shit about my suicida thoughts =(

 

[dontwakemeup]

I'm sorry you had a bad day. You're a tough cookie to be able to hold all those emotions in and still finish class. I hope tomorrow I'd better for you

 

[guineapiglover8503]

Me too... and my girlfriend know shit about my suicida thoughts =(

aw :( hopefully you would be able to trust her with it. Having someone that close to you must be wonderful tho and I hope i get to experience that sometime xd

I'm sorry you had a bad day. You're a tough cookie to be able to hold all those emotions in and still finish class. I hope tomorrow I'd better for you

thank you. I havent cried much in school so this was a big one for me. I have been fighting this pain since I was born and I really want to give up. Hopefully I feel better tomorrow. People were great today, I just had a flood of emotions and I wasnt able to talk much with my friends

 

[Depressive_Thoughts]

sorry you have been feeling this way, hope you get better next day