Venting I was born into a family of geniuses and successful people, and I'm just not.

[Thekla]

Everyone in my family tree is a complete genius. My dad is the president of a university and mom is a geologist. All of my siblings are in super prestigious schools inventing things and making 6 figures.

I'm just... completely inferior. I'm so unbelievably unintelligent. No matter how much I studied in school, I couldn't get good grades. I studied for literally hours every single day and I never got above a C. Ever. I was surrounded by smart people my whole life, "Gifted people" as some like to call them, I'm just not one of them.

It was soul-crushing the entire time. I cut myself for so long to deal with the pain of being alone.

I'm 19 now, so I'm out of school. I never graduated. My parents hate me for being such a piece of shit failure, I don't blame them. I should've been aborted, they would've aborted me if they knew how stupid I was going to be.

I'm not good at playing sports. I'm aroace so I refuse to get a husband and be a mother. I'm just a complete failure of a human being. Its torture being around people who are just so superior to you 24/7 and being physically incapable of meeting their levels.

The only things I have are my church and my computer. Eventually I want to hang myself in the woods near my house.
There's no lesson in this; I just wanted to vent. lol

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Have you ever been evaluated for a learning disability before? I'm not asking this to be rude, but rather because if you are studying for hours only to never get above a Cs on all your tests then that might be a sign that the issue isn't necessarily that you are dumb but rather that you might need some accommodations.

Look, at the end of the day, success means nothing. None of this really means anything. You will die one day, whether it is by your own hands or not, and then that will be it. A lot of people like to put a lot of emphasis on being super smart and very accomplished but none of that matters in the grand scheme of things. Do you think that anybody's going to remember any of the shit your family has done a hundred years from now? Will any of it matter after the human race goes extinct?

There is nothing wrong with not being accomplished and, if it does turn out that you aren't smart, then who cares? That kind of shit only matters about as much as you want it to. I also have no accomplishments under my belt and I'm very dumb (I've failed classes that should have been easy and I have to work harder than my peers to do well on shit). I've come not to care about being successful anymore. I will be honest and say that I am still insecure about my intelligence, but it's not as bad as it used to be.

Also, who cares about you not becoming a mother with a husband or whatever? I feel like most people these days don't even see that as an accomplishment.

 

[Thekla]

Have you ever been evaluated for a learning disability before? I'm not asking this to be rude, but rather because if you are studying for hours only to never get above a Cs on all your tests then that might be a sign that the issue isn't necessarily that you are dumb but rather that you might need some accommodations.

No, that would be admitting defeat, that I'm inferior. And it's far too late now, lol.

There is nothing wrong with not being accomplished and, if it does turn out that you aren't smart, then who cares? That kind of shit only matters about as much as you want it to. I also have no accomplishments under my belt and I'm very dumb (I've failed classes that should have been easy and I have to work harder than my peers to do well on shit). I've come not to care about being successful anymore. I will be honest and say that I am still insecure about my intelligence, but it's not as bad as it used to be.

It's probably fine when your family is just "average", but I come from such exceptional people. I'm EXPECTED to be accomplished. I have to be accomplished! It's what I want!

Also, who cares about you not becoming a mother with a husband or whatever? I feel like most people these days don't even see that as an accomplishment.

Because then I would at least be useful to someone.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

No, that would be admitting defeat, that I'm inferior. And it's far too late now, lol.

Having a learning disability wouldn't make you inferior, it would just mean that you aren't neurotypical. There are plenty of amazing people out there who happen to have learning disabilities. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

It's probably fine when your family is just "average", but I come from such exceptional people. I'm EXPECTED to be accomplished. I have to be accomplished! It's what I want!

Who gives a shit about what others expect from you though? They aren't you. You don't have to give a shit about their expectations if you don't want to.

Because then I would at least be useful to someone.

Being a wife and mother doesn't make you useful. It doesn't mean shit outside of the fact that you got married and popped out a brat. My mother used to work as a nanny and has plenty of stories of mothers who didn't do shit for their kids but would then complain about how hard being a mother is. She had one client who gloated about how she and her kids rarely washed themselves. Being a mother and wife doesn't mean anything.

 

[Thekla]

Who gives a shit about what others expect from you though? They aren't you. You don't have to give a shit about their expectations if you don't want to.

One thing I was successfully taught was that I'll never get a job without school. They were right. I've completely given up in that regard. It's just a fact of reality I'm doomed to be homeless because of how stupid I am. Me ignoring it isn't going to make that go away. I'm just waiting for the inevitable day I'm kicked out of the house.

Being a wife and mother doesn't make you useful. It doesn't mean shit outside of the fact that you got married and popped out a brat.

It's implied I'd want to be a good mom, lol. I'd want a kid that can be better than me. But that's impossible.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

One thing I was successfully taught was that I'll never get a job without school. They were right. I've completely given up in that regard. It's just a fact of reality I'm doomed to be homeless because of how stupid I am. Me ignoring it isn't going to make that go away. I'm just waiting for the inevitable day I'm kicked out of the house.

Plenty of people still have trouble finding a job and end up homeless despite having a degree. School doesn't really mean as much nowadays in regards to landing a good job. The person who you see working at that fast food joint might actually have a master's degree in biochemistry and still can't find a good job for the life of them.

It's implied I'd want to be a good mom, lol. I'd want a kid that can be better than me. But that's impossible.

I mean, giving birth in general is pretty selfish. You could just look into something like adoption instead. Along with that, there are plenty of aroace people who are married, usually to someone they are in a QPR with, so it's not like those ambitions are necessarily thrown out the window.

 

[Worndown]

At the end of the day, people are unlikely to remember their university president, who holds the patent on your favorite device or who found a mineral deposit.
All important roles in life.
They will appreciate the person who fixed their toilet, repaired their car or built their home.
Be a plumber, mechanic or craftsman.
These are possibly more important roles.
Some of them will even make more money, if that is important.

 

[Thekla]

I mean, giving birth in general is pretty selfish. You could just look into something like adoption instead. Along with that, there are plenty of aroace people who are married, usually to someone they are in a QPR with, so it's not like those ambitions are necessarily thrown out the window.

I don't subscribe to antinatalism. There are millions of people very happy to be alive and it's not my right to tell them otherwise. I just wasn't as lucky as them. Point being I'm not in a place to raise a child anytime soon. Idk I'm just venting about being a loser.

But, I know your heart's in the right place. I appreciate that you're here talking to em.

 

[ToANewWorld]

You are pretty young. I am willing to bet in a few years you will reach the realization that what doesn't immediately affect you is kinda irrelevant. Your sister is smarter than you? Your brother is richer? All irrelevant since you have bills to pay and things you want to accomplish.

 

[Thekla]

You are pretty young. I am willing to bet in a few years you will reach the realization that what doesn't immediately affect you is kinda irrelevant. Your sister is smarter than you? Your brother is richer? All irrelevant since you have bills to pay and things you want to accomplish.

It's not JUST that I'm inferior relative to them, I'm inferior relative to mostly everyone. I can't accomplish anything because I'm not smart enough to. There's nothing I want to accomplish because there's nothing for me to accomplish.

 

[ToANewWorld]

It's not JUST that I'm inferior relative to them, I'm inferior relative to mostly everyone. I can't accomplish anything because I'm not smart enough to. There's nothing I want to accomplish because there's nothing for me to accomplish.

If you were inferior to mostly everyone, why would this be a bad thing?

 

[bankai]

When the genes of both parents get together, then the child is created. Extremely simple explanation but that's the gist of it.So we don't know exactly how the genes combine. One sibling can be much better looking, another can be way more intelligent. All from the same parents. You were just unlucky, it's not your fault.