I've never been worse than today. I keep losing control,start being loud on street,hitting things and being angry.
I hate it so much that i born into poverty/child marriage. I'm a total failure;i have nothing; i couldnt finish secondary school even.. I hate it see others going to uni. It's so bad to see others becoming successful while you remain poor,with no future. I lost so much because of this,friends,relationship(someone i loved) because of this,because of my environment. I keep seeing this,whenever i see someone getting into uni, i won't be able to provide or meet "The One" , i just simply can't even get into her sight. I always planned to become a mechanical engineer,but everything took a sharp turn during high school,i had to leave and i never recovered from it. I feel like a subhuman , I feel like a subhuman
You are worthless without these nothing,no one would want to know you,and also, I COME FROM A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BACKGROUND WHICH MAKES IT WORSEEE BY POWER TO THE POWER,Billions of times.
Whenever i found a community,last time it was vagabonds,couchsurfers, i get confronted by the social differences between me and them,and the fact that they are successful/educated and it kills me again. I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T I CAN'T
My parents are from the 3rd world,my mom is mentally slower,weaker and my dad was almost 40yrs older(basically he could,because he was a teacher/engineer),so this is how a mentally slower women get married to someone almost 40yrs older,because he was educated. My whole family lived on the pension of my father,no one worked. This is how we lived. 6 person in a 30sqm house. beating,attacking was an everyday thing.
I will continue in the comments,elaborate but i want this to be readable and not long
I hate it so much that i born into poverty/child marriage. I'm a total failure;i have nothing; i couldnt finish secondary school even.. I hate it see others going to uni. It's so bad to see others becoming successful while you remain poor,with no future. I lost so much because of this,friends,relationship(someone i loved) because of this,because of my environment. I keep seeing this,whenever i see someone getting into uni, i won't be able to provide or meet "The One" , i just simply can't even get into her sight. I always planned to become a mechanical engineer,but everything took a sharp turn during high school,i had to leave and i never recovered from it. I feel like a subhuman , I feel like a subhuman
You are worthless without these nothing,no one would want to know you,and also, I COME FROM A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BACKGROUND WHICH MAKES IT WORSEEE BY POWER TO THE POWER,Billions of times.
Whenever i found a community,last time it was vagabonds,couchsurfers, i get confronted by the social differences between me and them,and the fact that they are successful/educated and it kills me again. I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T I CAN'T
My parents are from the 3rd world,my mom is mentally slower,weaker and my dad was almost 40yrs older(basically he could,because he was a teacher/engineer),so this is how a mentally slower women get married to someone almost 40yrs older,because he was educated. My whole family lived on the pension of my father,no one worked. This is how we lived. 6 person in a 30sqm house. beating,attacking was an everyday thing.
I will continue in the comments,elaborate but i want this to be readable and not long
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