I want to try again

[Kadaver]

I don't if I can do this anymore. I lost my strongest support beam, my best friend. Now we hardly talk and it breaks my heart. My body doesn't feel like my own to the point where I haven't left the house in over a month because my dysphoria is so bad

I want to try again. I want to order SN and try again to free myself from this nightmare I call my life. I'm so tired of everything—im so tired of myself. I'm tired of feeling so fucking miserable all the time to the point where I bedrot all day. I'm tired of wanting so fucking badly to make friends and put myself out there but I can't because of my anxiety and dysphoria. I just want this to be over. I don't want to try anymore. I don't want to "wait until it gets better" anymore. I want to be done. I want to be free

I know that I'm never going to get better. There's no point in giving anyone hope that I might be ok one day. There's not point in meeting more people who will be hurt at my passing. I just want to let go and disappoint everyone one last time and then be done; they won't ever have to worry about me again

 

[lann.371]

I'm so sorry for how hard it is. I really hope you find what your looking for. I wish you luck

 

[GalacticWarrior777]

The pain quite definitely is unbereable. Hope you find what's best for you. Good luck.

 

[SA1994EC]

I feel your excruciating pain. It is like drowning into the deep sea. You see no single beam of light in the pitch darkness and gasp for the air but all you get is water. Hopelessness, despair, devastation, words are not enough for your suffering. I feel the same. We are in the same boat. People in this community are here for you.