I want to raise a kid

[ChoclateIsSweet]

If I ever reach a point of stability mentally and monetarily, I'd like to raise a child. It's a selfish reason, but I dream of raising a kid in a warm home. Clean clothes that smell nice, a ceiling with no mold, a fridge filled with food and people that love them endlessly. I want to give them everything I never had. It's feels like a selfish fantasy I indulge in too often. I hope they feel loved when they sleep at night. I hope they can cry in front of me, and tell me honestly their worries. I will listen. I will work hard to gain their trust, I will work harder to never break it.
They can act a little spoilt, and angry. Kids should be able to express how they feel, these emotions aren't inherently ugly. They don't have to amount to anything, or feel pressured to be anything but themselves. Kindness is enough. A genuine smile from them would be enough to make me proud.
I'm not sure if I believe in God, but I pray that they can hear me.

 

[Life_and_Death]

It's a selfish reason, but I dream of raising a kid in a warm home.

its not selfish to give someone something that more people than should dont have.. its caring

 

[ChoclateIsSweet]

Thank you, that's really kind of you to say. It's just scary, to think maybe I'm just trying to recreate what I never had as a child. There's still a lot of things I need to learn, to get there!

 

[ForgottenAgain]

Your post is so beautiful ❤
I don't think it's selfish, I actually think it's selfless wanting to give to another person the things we never had. Taking care of someone for the sole reward of seeing them happy. It's the kind of behaviour that makes a good parent.

I hope your life improves and that fantasy becomes a reality if you so desire it ❤

 

[bed]

I wish I had a parent like that growing up. I hope you get to fulfill your dream, you sound like you'd be an excellent parent with those qualities <3

 

[Final_Choice]

If you plan on taking good care of your child and love them as much as you can it is definitely not a selfish thing to do. I'm sure you'd be a good parent from what I can tell.

 

[Life_and_Death]

If you plan on taking good care of your child and love them as much as you can it is definitely not a selfish thing to do. I'm sure you'd be a good parent from what I can tell.

lots of this!
i was told my mother was going to abort me, adopt me out. then the government tried to take me and she f'ed off to another province with me. just so i can not be wanted because i wasnt his. then lied to me even when i directly asked them why am i the only one in the house with green eyes. not to mention the physical/phycological abuse and possible CSA that may or may not have happened (i cant remember but i do know there were possibilities for it.)

DO NOT NEVER EVER EVER EVER keep a child you dont give a fuck about

 

[Aloneandinpain]

I'd like to have kids too but I never really got started at romantic relationships so it seems a completely impossible concept to me.

 

[Pluto00]

It's crazy to me that anybody would bring another person into this world, let alone somebody who's made their way to this website.

If the time comes that you would like to raise a child, I'd suggest adopting one who's already living in this cruel world, instead of creating another one to suffer.

 

[Deleted member 8119]

Too good anti-natalists don't browse recovery lol.

I guess everyone desires are different. I really don't want to. The inability to guarantee everything will go right, a lot adverse factors, and how hard bad things can get. I browsed this place for less than a month and I can't figure out a positive equivalent for the experiences here, lol.

Not to mention our economy needs countries with little to no human rights to work. To be fair, I never cared about consent, but I doesn't feel right to me.

Virtually every parent I've known started with the same desires. However, by experience, things will go wrong, and what one considers the best often ends up not working. At the end of the day, love is not a superpower and there are too many things out one's control.


If you decide to have one though, the best advice is to never suppress their emotions. Leave them talk, vent and know they have someone they can trust. Looks easy, but you would be above 90% of parents out there. Use your experience here to, please, never let your child feel like most users. It's not a magic barrier against life's problems, but not being able to talk about it reinforces the bad feelings so much. Please, understand that things could go horribly wrong and, in the worst case, be prepared to understand how hard their life could be, even if they are allowed to express their frustration.

 

[Adûnâi]

It's crazy to me that anybody would bring another person into this world, let alone somebody who's made their way to this website.

I hate to make an anti-anti-natalist argument, but if there is one, it's reincarnation. If it's the case that a set number of children have to be born, then it would be sensible to add to the good parents. Flimsy reasoning, I know.

 

[Deleted member 8119]

I hate to make an anti-anti-natalist argument, but if there is one, it's reincarnation. If it's the case that a set number of children have to be born, then it would be sensible to add to the good parents. Flimsy reasoning, I know.

Historically, anti-natalism was related to spirituality. It was seen as a way to prevent further reincarnation, so yours is a big"if".

 

[tbroken]

I don't want to raise any kid, because it is this stupid environment that hurt me, and I don't want another being to suffer like i did. I moved to another city in the past and had decent jobs, i was at the point of buying an house and build an home, but then events and pandemic led me back to my hometown and I'm depressed again

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

If you are dead set on raising a child, please do the world and it a favour by making sure you are stable in all ways or many.

I personally won't sugar coat it, if you are here clearly you aren't stable and i would class you as insane and or delusional to think you have what it takes to raise a kid.

That's a level of narcissism and egotistical shite i don't care for.

But if you do get good and cleaned up, sorted out then you will be doing better than many and id say the makings of a good parent.

Which is very good

 

[nightlygem]

It is not selfish to desire this, as I share this same sentiment. Although it is possible, having children is not exactly a planned thing. Just be aware, you may have a child when you're not mentally ready. Regardless, it's going to be ok in the end. As long as you hold no resent to this child, are there for them, and show them the beauty of the world, you'll be a decent parent.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

Why not? as long as you work on yourself first, get to a certain level of stability emotionally, a certain level financially and a certain level emotionally, then there's nothing wrong with raising/creating a kid.
The world such as it is, can be a crappy place, but it's not all crappy.

 

[ChoclateIsSweet]

Sorry this is 2 months late, but thank you for all the kind words and advice. I felt embarrassed sharing something so personal, it was the first time I've ever really verbalised it. I'm still in my early 20s so the best I can do is pave the way to that point. I've started with monetary stability, this month I spent a lot of time trying to get a full time job (no offer yet but a few interviews). For my mental stability, I'm still scared to see a professional after previous experiences but I've been using SaSu less and less.

Thank you again for all the kind words and for sharing your experiences and advice. Whether or not I'll raise a child one day, I won't be in SaSu to say. :D