Help I want to kill myself to stop the pain, I'm penniless in Israel, how can I do it?

[AbusedByFather]

Hi,
I was suicidal for quite a while. I started taking SSRIs, picked up hobbies, and tried to form healthy connections.
However, that voice in the back of my mind permeates through everything, and I just want to get it over with.
I have no money, and I'm afraid to mess up, and end up handicapped and in more pain than I was before.
I live in Israel.

How can I CTB without feeling much pain?

Apparently, I'm also on the spectrum, so I have a hard time understanding everything too complex as well as people's expressions, so If anyone can help me find a gun or something, I'd be happy to just shoot myself.

 

[FuneralCry]

There is a suicide resource compilation on here and there are lots of threads about methods. I think that it's a personal thing deciding on what method is best, it depends on the situation and the individual themselves.

I really wish that it's easier to leave this world, I also have the fear of failing ctb. It's unfair how we have to suffer in finding ways to leave. I wish you freedom.