monetpompo
૮ • ﻌ - ა
- Apr 21, 2025
- 490
venting post!!!! venting!!
i think that being unemployed and living with your parents because you can't move out is something to be suicidal about if your parents keep expecting you to get over your depression and start looking for a job, otherwise they're going to keep seeing you as a societal failure.
i don't know how to become a prostitute. there's a lot of steps. i used to think it was easy. i don't want to do onlyfans either because i wouldn't make enough money. i can't join the military because i don't know algebra or basic math and my health isn't that good. i don't know what i'm supposed to do with myself. people always say to become an escort or join the military when you have no other option. there must be something wrong with me if i can't do either.
i feel like a waste. i'm not doing anything worthwhile just living with my parents. i dropped out of college because i didn't want to keep going. a part of me wants to get kicked out and become homeless so that i have an excuse to lay on the road and wait for big truck tires to run over my body. i don't want to keep being alive because i have nothing to live for and no one checks in on me. i don't want to tell any of my friends that i'm depressed because the people in my friend group don't have licenses or jobs either.
i want to die and i don't want to be told to take medication or to get a job when i only qualify for fast food jobs that will treat me like garbage. i hate that i'm less than other people for not having a degree. sometimes i think about living until i turn 21 in april so that i can drink before my hanging attempt to be less anxious, but i'd hate myself if i was still alive for that long. this all feels like empty talk because i can't even hang myself long enough without untying myself because i get afraid of the feeling of suffocation.
i can't keep living like this. i'm not even living for myself. all the good things in life require other people or money to be able to do. i miss when i was in a relationship. i miss when i could see my friends more often. not being able to drive means i spend long stretches of time at home because there's nothing walkable nearby me. everything is about driving and money. how am i supposed to get the motivation to do anything when everyone expects me to pick myself up and get better?
i wanted to join the military for a long time, as a last resort, but i don't qualify for it. i don't know what i'm supposed to do with myself. i don't want to go to university because i could end up with a lot of debt just to drop out. if all my friends have other friends then why do i even need to talk to them? what makes me a worthwhile person if i contribute nothing to people's lives? if i'm such a whiny loser, then i should be killed for it. i'm the kind of person that should be looked down on.
i think that being unemployed and living with your parents because you can't move out is something to be suicidal about if your parents keep expecting you to get over your depression and start looking for a job, otherwise they're going to keep seeing you as a societal failure.
i don't know how to become a prostitute. there's a lot of steps. i used to think it was easy. i don't want to do onlyfans either because i wouldn't make enough money. i can't join the military because i don't know algebra or basic math and my health isn't that good. i don't know what i'm supposed to do with myself. people always say to become an escort or join the military when you have no other option. there must be something wrong with me if i can't do either.
i feel like a waste. i'm not doing anything worthwhile just living with my parents. i dropped out of college because i didn't want to keep going. a part of me wants to get kicked out and become homeless so that i have an excuse to lay on the road and wait for big truck tires to run over my body. i don't want to keep being alive because i have nothing to live for and no one checks in on me. i don't want to tell any of my friends that i'm depressed because the people in my friend group don't have licenses or jobs either.
i want to die and i don't want to be told to take medication or to get a job when i only qualify for fast food jobs that will treat me like garbage. i hate that i'm less than other people for not having a degree. sometimes i think about living until i turn 21 in april so that i can drink before my hanging attempt to be less anxious, but i'd hate myself if i was still alive for that long. this all feels like empty talk because i can't even hang myself long enough without untying myself because i get afraid of the feeling of suffocation.
i can't keep living like this. i'm not even living for myself. all the good things in life require other people or money to be able to do. i miss when i was in a relationship. i miss when i could see my friends more often. not being able to drive means i spend long stretches of time at home because there's nothing walkable nearby me. everything is about driving and money. how am i supposed to get the motivation to do anything when everyone expects me to pick myself up and get better?
i wanted to join the military for a long time, as a last resort, but i don't qualify for it. i don't know what i'm supposed to do with myself. i don't want to go to university because i could end up with a lot of debt just to drop out. if all my friends have other friends then why do i even need to talk to them? what makes me a worthwhile person if i contribute nothing to people's lives? if i'm such a whiny loser, then i should be killed for it. i'm the kind of person that should be looked down on.
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