I am in this exact position and planned to exit after the death of my sister, but I am in this paradoxical situation of being in a great deal of emotional pain myself, whilst observing how destroyed my family are by my sibling's death. I think about CTB every hour of every day whilst having to support my immediate family through their grief (whilst also grieving). For example, having to help my niece clear her mother's house which is still happening; helping her arrange my sister's funeral and adhere to her wishes; trying to find bereavement support and counselling services for her as she has expressed the desire to CTB (she has no siblings, her father left when she was one, and only has me, my pensioner mother, my younger sibling, and her very young children and her partner who does what he can to help). Trying to tell her to stay alive for her young children leaves me feeling like a hypocrite. She is in a very bad way and I am supporting her whilst not wanting to be here myself. I imagined the other day CTB whilst my family are amidst all of the above. It simply would not be fair at this time, but I have to say that being here is tortuous. I have already started to pack up my house, and they have no idea of course. I feel as if I am in limbo. So what I have decided to do is to do everything that I can to help my niece - for example, she wants to move so she does not have to pass her mother's road every day - then depart. My niece needs support attending hospital appointments as she has an autoimmune disease etc, but once she is settled I will exit. but staying around at the moment is very, very hard....I have to take low doses of Valium in order to stay numb enough to not take any action during this time.