I want to die, why is that a problem to people?

[CaliCatCharlie]

I don't understand why me wanting to die is wrong to people. I hate being told I'm "too young" and that "I have a lot of possibilities" and that I can just "do better" or "think better" like it's just some fucking walk in the park or some shit. What the hell is with people? I can't just erase my trauma and become a millionaire in ten easy fucking steps because I realized suicide is "bad". Then have these people have the fucking audacity to be angry about it, like what? Like my problems are miniscule and I'm just being dramatic or some shit. And about being too young? Suicide ideation does not discriminate with age. I've been deeply in pain and suffering and through so much trauma ever since I was a kid and I get invalidated for it like it's fucking nothing. Like I'm not old enough to understand what pain really is. I get told to keep trying to look up for the better things but it's the most difficult thing to do when you're in abyss.

It pisses me off so much because they know about my trauma but they choose to fucking ignore it. Imagine living your life everyday in fear because your own sibling is going to beat the piss out of you. Imagine just watching my your take her last breath, watching someone you love slowly die and deteriorate into a zombie where they can't feel and have no sight of real consciousness anymore does something to you mentally. I was already fucked up, but that fucked me up even more. I've been sexually abused as a child. It hurts so fucking much. I can't even land a fucking job because the situation my parents put me in, in not getting me my important vital records and pissing around neglecting it all my childhood. I now live a shitty life and can't even do anything because of it. It costs money to get a lawyer to even help me get it. MONEY I DONT EVEN FUCKING HAVE. Everything single fucking thing costs money. To make matters worse, I have no records to even prove who I am. No dental, no medical, no school records because I was homeschooled. I was neglected as child and people fail to realize that. Me and my three sisters were severely neglected just because we were born girls. It sucks honestly. I grew up in a very cult-like environment and I'm tired of people pretending that it doesn't fucking matter. Imagine just not really being wanted as a child.

So they have no fucking reason at all to be angry. Angry over fucking what? It's my choice and I'm allowed to make that choice for myself if I want to.
The only reason I have not decided to try CTB again is because I want to help out my girlfriend before I CTB.
I am very determined to make sure I reach my goal in due time.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

For most people life is easy and understanding is hard.

 

[insanedoomer]

lot of people are addicted to life because of her lights turning em blind , only suicidals can realise what's right to do .

 

[FuneralCry]

People who haven't suffered in similar ways and those who are not suicidal will never be able to comprehend what it is like and they will never understand as they have not been through it themselves. It invalidates the suffering you are going through, being told those things by other people.
It angers me the view that society holds that you must live no matter what even if our suffering gets unbearable. In the end we are the ones who are experiencing what we are going through, so we should be the ones to decide when enough is enough.

 

[Seiba]

It's nice to see another homeschooled person, though I wish you weren't in this position. Most people don't go further than platitudes and the like -- they have never been in the position to question anything. That aside, human beings are defiant against anything that goes against their desires. Our society refuses to accept the rejections of our will by the world or our bodies. You can read the same platitudes from hundreds of years ago and so on. It's an inherited position that they aren't that honest with. Being granted the ability to be right is an indulgence even now I think I would want granted, but they are not willing to consider anything regardless of what is said or written. Even in the case of a note they will just pick a part of it and strum only that.

 

[Worndown]

Without trying to defend them, they do not know what to do and these comments are all they can think of. It would be more appropriate to offer their sorrow for your situation and maybe inquire is they can help you survive in any way. I would not expect them to help you ctb. They could and should offer a sympathetic ear.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

I know...the maddest person about this was my mom's rich entitled alcoholic never a shitty day in his life husband. He got so pissed and it was when everything had unraveled.

My family don't really know my traumas, stresses and shit. They just label me. Overall they don't say shit to me...and they deny my reality that is harsh and shitty.

Good luck whatever you decide. It sounds like you have anger that is warranted.

 

[Fakereality]

We belong in a race which has been more or less brainwashed by the ruling class into mindless cogs in their eternal machine of pain and suffering the cogs which realize that the game is rigged and created out of bad taste are look down upon by the majority because they themselves are too weak to accept the reality.

 

[Midgardsorm]

Bad things happens during any time of life no matter your age, but when it happens as childhood, it impacts on all the rest of the life.

People are against the idea of suicide because of a few reasons, mostly theological, but also because it goes against our nature.

I would say that the primary reason for people to be against suicide is simply capitalism and selfishness.
The system need strong and capable people to work to companies so they can buy things from companies.

The dead doesn't pay taxes, the dead doesn't work, the dead doesn't buy,

And to think they call suicide selfish.

 

[Anonymous_A]

I mean some people would say, you could get the rope now and ctb. Do it without anybody knowing…then technically, nobody is stopping you.

 

[Mr2005]

Because they don't want you to. That's it

 

[Dear Agony]

I can't imagine the pain you've been through or put myself in your situation at all, but I have been through some trauma in my life I just wouldn't have if I wasn't born a girl, and it's one of the reasons why I want to CTB. I hate society and how they view women.
People are selfish and want to keep you here no matter what - doesn't matter what you go through, no amount of trauma justifies a death to pro life people tbh. They'll always tell you to look on the bright side.

 

[YourNeighbor]

I'm not by any stretch suggesting I know what you're going through, but many of your issues can be addressed. (School, job, ID, etc.) None overnight, and none without effort, however.

Worth a shot. Ctb is always an option, but it doesn't sound like the only one.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

Because people are assholes at their core. God forbid, your pain and existence disturb their "perfect" picture of their "perfect" world. They don't wanna know or care or try to relate at any point. Don't fool yourself, thinking those, who get angry, wanna help. They're just being assholes.
Sending you love