relatable af. honestly like 18-21 was a weeeeird time for me. I still felt like a kid, but I had the responsibilities of an adult, for the most part. Like a job, actual bills to pay for, a shitload of freedom re: college (since i was able to go) and independence i'd never had before, but i had no clue how to manage it. But i wasn't a 'full adult' becuase there's plenty of things that are 21+ that excluded me from a lot of the social shit people did, so it was this weird balance between being too old / mature to be a kid, and too young / immature to be a true 'adult'. It's a difficult transitional period for everyone i guess, but bipolar disorder has to come in with the bullshit and make it worse for no fkin reason.
Agree - ohhh I am gonnna drift away a bit.
My parents live so far,
I also pay my rent since 16, I work, I need to cook for myself, laundry… I am actually an adult since 16, that's a crazy time, ngl. But I had no chance when I wanted to survive.
Since I am 19 now, I feel like I grew A LOT.
Last year when I got to be 18 I was 4 Months in a psych ward. I learned so much - what to do with stress, how to skill, how to feel emotions and sort them, talk about my eating disorder bulimia, my SA which took place in october last year and alllllll that stuff.
And it's so scary… Now I feel like I just grew up! I am an adult…
But also in the perspective of pro-choice. Since I am on this forum it's scary how many people ACTUALLY understand someone.
Now (You and) I know how to die. Now everything is so more light. Having the chance to end it all is so… free-ing.
When I was 13 and I had my first "AtTtemPT" I didn't know how to die. I never wanted to. Maybe now I don't even want to… I don't know. I don't know anything.
But whats going on with my illness… man, I am chroniclly ill. Forever. Like Forever I will stuck with this bullshit….
Everyday I have 200 different emotions.. Angry, Sad, Empty, Excitement bla bla…bla… I feel everything and want to die. My body is stricing off how much trauma and pain it holds???
Ugh-
