Venting I want to ctb but i do want to give life a chance

[istheretrulyalife?]

I think I have decided on a year (not a specific date). Life has just been so bad for me recently. My grandfather is in the er, I have no one to talk to (no friends either) even though I'm already doing computer science I'm still not completely sure on what to do with my life. If I try to tell anyone about my ctb thoughts, I'm definitely getting sent to a hospital. Depending on how bad it gets I will probably ctb late 2024 or early 2025.

 

[strawb12]

That sounds like a good idea to give yourself a year & see how you feel. I did something similar too. In a year if you still want to ctb go for it but definitely give life a chance & see if it really isn't worth living for.

 

[Worndown]

Sorry about your grandfather.
Do you have interests? Try chat rooms. They may lead to people in your area. You are not alone being alone. Look for those sharing an interest. You have nothing to lose.

 

[TheHuman]

Life is in the end 100% meaningless. It's your choice weather you want live in a place that will eventually forget everything and with no memory. We will all end up dying, and life just isn't for everyone to experience so I hope you can find peace in death or this meaningless universe.

 

[loyalskateboard]

I feel like this too. I'm most likely giving it until the end of the year/early next year. Sometimes I think maybe there is a chance something could change, but it feels unlikely. I've basically tried every treatment and I have a ton of support available. It just isn't enough. It's like my brain didn't even have a chance :/ I'm trying though.

 

[MrDarkness]

A year is a good time, it gives plenty of wiggle room to see how you change as a person, I hope life becomes amazing for you best of luck. I hope your grandfather gets better

 

[Forever Sleep]

I hope life responds but I would say- don't just sit back and wait for good things to happen. In my experience- everything takes effort. Including friendship. I think what others have suggested are good ideas- continuing your interests and making friendships that way. Good luck. I hope things work out. I'm sorry about your grandfather.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best with your plans, I would personally always see it as being for the best not to be open about wanting to die as ending up in a psych ward sounds so horrible to me, it's just the unfortunate reality that we exist in a world where suicidal people end up being punished. But anyway existence is just too cruel, I find it awful how existing here can very easily get much worse.

 

[gotomrg]

it's a good idea to give yourself some time and see how it goes. maybe everything will work out and you'll be happy or on your way to happiness in a year or so, who knows. good luck, sorry for your grandfather. stay strong.