Venting I want to ctb because I'm ugly

[Boudika]

As they say "there is no greater curse for a woman than to be ugly". Well, and unfortunately I am like that. It didn't help to lose weight or exercise at the gym. I just have an ugly, misshapen face. Every day as I walk past the mirror I feel like gouging out my eyes out. It doesn't help that my whole family is beautiful. And seriously I say, in their genes they have "celebrity-level" beauty. It's awful to look at, knowing that BPES and ugly genes from my father's side of the family have created a disgusting monster out of me

 

[Namensjemand]

Do other people agree with your assessment? They are those who can be honest. I just wonder how ugly you can possibly be. And even if so... ugly people can have very loving relationships. I am not you, I don't know your history and pain. Wanting to gauge your eyes out sounds like a terrible feeling. But one just is left to wonder.

 

[dmdmdm]

Did you ever get told you looked ugly? I've got the same problem with my appearance but thining about it no one ever called me ugly, of course insecurities were pointed out and everything but it was never really ugly.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Whether you are or not (and it's kind of subjective) do you really value yourself solely on your looks?

Even beautiful people end up in acid attacks sometimes and like Marilyn said "we all lose our charms in the end".

Do you value others solely on their looks? If not, why do you think people would treat you that way?

 

[toofargone6969]

Me too:(

 

[Blurry_Buildings]

I am also very ugly. People stare at me constantly for it.

People treat ugly looking people like shit and then turn around and pretend that they didn't. Looks will fade for everyone though, and all that will remain is your personality and the personalities of those around you.

 

[Blue Elephant]

I think I look pretty fucking awesome! I'm still alone though, have been most of my life. I only had one person who loved me and even though she said I was one, if not the best looking person she ever was with she still left me. All this being said I don't think anyone likes me. Aaaand I couldn't care less. All this is arbitrary, it's in our heads. It's also not just a physical thing. What you are, beautiful or ugly also has to do with what's inside. And it has to do with how others view the world. Why care about their standards though!?

 

[carac]

 

[Boudika]

Did you ever get told you looked ugly? I've got the same problem with my appearance but thining about it no one ever called me ugly, of course insecurities were pointed out and everything but it was never really ugly.

Yeah, my family and some guys told me that. Funny thing is that photographers love my beauty. Many people in this job complimented me that I have "model beauty". But it's probably because I simply have a very unusual beauty (I can't even describe it here because I have a combination of many very rare features, so I would dox myself if I write smth about my look)

 

[dmdmdm]

Yeah, my family and some guys told me that. Funny thing is that photographers love my beauty. Many people in this job complimented me that I have "model beauty". But it's probably because I simply have a very unusual beauty (I can't even describe it here because I have a combination of many very rare features, so I would dox myself if I write smth about my look)

Well there you have it, some compliments. Different doesn't have to be ugly

 

[Boudika]

Do other people agree with your assessment? They are those who can be honest. I just wonder how ugly you can possibly be. And even if so... ugly people can have very loving relationships. I am not you, I don't know your history and pain. Wanting to gauge your eyes out sounds like a terrible feeling. But one just is left to wonder.

As I wrote earlier, some family members just admited it, as well as some guys but some people thinks that I'm kinda pretty or have "model beauty"

 

[ChampagneSupernova]

Wait .. you got told you're ugly by a handful of people and you take that as it is?? I'm a guy, I've been rejected many many times in my life. A few times the girls were kind of mean about it. If anyone had a reason to think they're ugly, it would be me. I don't think I'm ugly, I look damn good if I say so myself lol.

I think there are subreddits where people will give you an honest assessment on how you look. I dont use reddit anymore so I don't know what the thread is, but a little searching you should be able to find it easily. They won't sugar coat it. Maybe give that a try before throwing in the towel and want to CTB because of a few people's comments on your appearance.

 

[thouxan]

I have spent countless hours stressing and suffering, alone in my room, because of how ugly my face is. My body is great, and my life is otherwise not stressful at all. But I have extremely negative thoughts about my disgusting face every day. Recessed jaw and chin, big crooked nose, acne, wrinkles, ugly eyebrows, small mouth.

I wanted to ctb so bad since the start of 2023 to about the start of the summer. I couldn't even get up to brush my teeth or shower for a week at a time. I didn't talk to anyone, I basically completely dissociated from this life and waited until I could find an opportunity to ctb. My parents forced me to go to a psychiatrist and get on meds, but I only agreed on one condition, that they will get me as much money as I need for plastic surgeries to fix my subhuman face. They agreed.

I took antidepressants for 2 months, mood was still very bad overall but the suicidal thoughts went away. Then I consulted a couple plastic/maxilofacial surgeons and discussed which procedures I wanted. In a little over a year from now, I will have had jaw surgery, genioplasty, rhinoplasty, cheek implants, mouth widening and botox. It will completely change my face and I will become actually fking attractive for the first time in my life.

This is my entire life goal and it is the only reason I wake up in the morning. All of my energy is spent working to save up money for my surgeries and doing extensive research to find exactly what results I want. I spend hours every day analyzing human faces in before and afters like a psycho. This is how desperate I am. I already got on accutane for my acne which is the first step, my skin should be clear in 6 months from now.

I can't wait to start actually living like a normal human being with a social and dating life. I have only ever been called handsome by my old ass relatives. You should really try to find a way to save up money for plastic surgeries, it is the only way us ugly subhumans will ever experience love and happiness. Even though I have all these plans it is still extremely hard for me, time goes by so slow and I can't stop looking at my reflection over a hundred times a day. The only reason I logged into this forum after months is to find someone to talk to and get this off my chest because it's extremely lonely out here

 

[ChampagneSupernova]

I have spent countless hours stressing and suffering, alone in my room, because of how ugly my face is. My body is great, and my life is otherwise not stressful at all. But I have extremely negative thoughts about my disgusting face every day. Recessed jaw and chin, big crooked nose, acne, wrinkles, ugly eyebrows, small mouth.

I wanted to ctb so bad since the start of 2023 to about the start of the summer. I couldn't even get up to brush my teeth or shower for a week at a time. I didn't talk to anyone, I basically completely dissociated from this life and waited until I could find an opportunity to ctb. My parents forced me to go to a psychiatrist and get on meds, but I only agreed on one condition, that they will get me as much money as I need for plastic surgeries to fix my subhuman face. They agreed.

I took antidepressants for 2 months, mood was still very bad overall but the suicidal thoughts went away. Then I consulted a couple plastic/maxilofacial surgeons and discussed which procedures I wanted. In a little over a year from now, I will have had jaw surgery, genioplasty, rhinoplasty, cheek implants, mouth widening and botox. It will completely change my face and I will become actually fking attractive for the first time in my life.

This is my entire life goal and it is the only reason I wake up in the morning. All of my energy is spent working to save up money for my surgeries and doing extensive research to find exactly what results I want. I spend hours every day analyzing human faces in before and afters like a psycho. This is how desperate I am. I already got on accutane for my acne which is the first step, my skin should be clear in 6 months from now.

I can't wait to start actually living like a normal human being with a social and dating life. I have only ever been called handsome by my old ass relatives. You should really try to find a way to save up money for plastic surgeries, it is the only way us ugly subhumans will ever experience love and happiness. Even though I have all these plans it is still extremely hard for me, time goes by so slow and I can't stop looking at my reflection over a hundred times a day. The only reason I logged into this forum after months is to find someone to talk to and get this off my chest because it's extremely lonely out here

That must be difficult, it's good that you are in a position to get the work done though. Most people aren't that fortunate. My only feature i ever got self conscious over was my "butt chin" lol. But I just grow my beard to cover it. I do feel bad for people who got screwed over from a genetics perspective. The world does unfortunately judge based on characteristics people can't control.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I do wish I knew what it would be like to like your appearance.