Help I want to chat, but I have nothing worth sayng;

[lost_one]

I guess I am just trying to ward off lonliness or distract myself

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Just do what I do and mildly inconvenience people with Astolfos !

 

[Jack_Nimble]

Ya could just lurk in the chat and see if something comes up that you want to reply to.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Perennial problem for me. Wanting company but not having anything to offer.

 

[CatLvr]

Apparently you (we, because I'm the same way lol) are in good company!

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

The same thing happens to me and has since childhood. I just never have anything to say or offer. But the chat is good to me, I just say whatever is on my mind or I will respond to what someone else says. All in all I let down my guard when I'm chatting on Sasu, and I stop being afraid of what others will think.

 

[CatLvr]

I read along in the chat every night. When I was a kid -- and young adult. Well, shit, and an old adult, too -- I like to just listen to other folks talk. Everyone's life story is so much more interesting than mine.

Or probably more like my life story makes people really uncomfortable -- abused kid grew up into an awkward young adult who got pregnant, then married, then pregnant some more before first asshole husband left me when I was sick, single mom until kids were raised, then married another asshole husband, had an accident that caused permanent severe spinal and pain issues who surfs a pro-choice suicide forum trying to help others when she can and comfort them when she cannot. Yep. That pretty much covers it.

 

[APeacefulPlace]

Yup me too!

 

[lost_one]

Perennial problem for me. Wanting company but not having anything to offer.

It is too for me, every now and then I will feel lonley and filled with dread, and guess I want someone to distract me from these fellings and things I seem unable to resolve by myself

Ya could just lurk in the chat and see if something comes up that you want to reply to.

I don't think I can access the chat, but thanks

I read along in the chat every night. When I was a kid -- and young adult. Well, shit, and an old adult, too -- I like to just listen to other folks talk. Everyone's life story is so much more interesting than mine.

Or probably more like my life story makes people really uncomfortable -- abused kid grew up into an awkward young adult who got pregnant, then married, then pregnant some more before first asshole husband left me when I was sick, single mom until kids were raised, then married another asshole husband, had an accident that caused permanent severe spinal and pain issues who surfs a pro-choice suicide forum trying to help others when she can and comfort them when she cannot. Yep. That pretty much covers it.

I am sorry for your life, I don't like to talk about mine that somehow is so utterly mundane and still so horrible, there is nothing happening yet I am haunted by memories of the past that I know I can't change. I go to therapy and it's uselless, either cause I am right and I am a lost cause, a piece of shit that deserves nothing from life and anyone who knew me and my past would agree or my therapist is right and I am just stubborn and unwhilling to actually try to change. That is why I feel like I should just end things, it feels hopeless and I am tired, and I despise and hate myself so completely

 

[CatLvr]

I am sorry for your life, I don't like to talk about mine that somehow is so utterly mundane and still so horrible, there is nothing happening yet I am haunted by memories of the past that I know I can't change. I go to therapy and it's uselless, either cause I am right and I am a lost cause, a piece of shit that deserves nothing from life and anyone who knew me and my past would agree or my therapist is right and I am just stubborn and unwhilling to actually try to change. That is why I feel like I should just end things, it feels hopeless and I am tired, and I despise and hate myself so completely

It's okay, really. I have come to the conclusion that though my upbringing was hard, it made me one tough bitch. I might not win in any altercation but I guarantee you whomever has decided to target me will know they have been in a fight when it is over. That stubbornness has kept me alive and kicking for more years than I should have been here on this earth. After my accident the ER docs were astounded my injuries didn't kill me.

Go figure -- I have been suicidal on and off my entire life but even accidents that would have killed anyone else (I've had a couple, and several really close calls) have just banged me up real good. What a world, huh??

And I bet you are a lot more interesting than you give yourself credit for. One of the things I had to do at my job was get people to tell me about themselves. And to tell me about things that most people do not like talking about. (No, I am not a therapist!! ) And those people were ALWAYS crazy interesting to me once I got them comfortable with me and broke the ice, as they say.

 

[lost_one]

I am tired of screming into the void, and being stuck. but I am still fucking useless

It's okay, really. I have come to the conclusion that though my upbringing was hard, it made me one tough bitch. I might not win in any altercation but I guarantee you whomever has decided to target me will know they have been in a fight when it is over. That stubbornness has kept me alive and kicking for more years than I should have been here on this earth. After my accident the ER docs were astounded my injuries didn't kill me.

Go figure -- I have been suicidal on and off my entire life but even accidents that would have killed anyone else (I've had a couple, and several really close calls) have just banged me up real good. What a world, huh??

And I bet you are a lot more interesting than you give yourself credit for. One of the things I had to do at my job was get people to tell me about themselves. And to tell me about things that most people do not like talking about. (No, I am not a therapist!! ) And those people were ALWAYS crazy interesting to me once I got them comfortable with me and broke the ice, as they say.

Idk, there is this one thing I feel like I need to resolve in someway before I can allow myself to be happy, to try at all, and I just can't resolve it. I involves someone else and I don't feel comfortable reaching out, my therapist has also advised me against it, it feels selfish to call out to them just to make myself feel better for wha tI have done to them, so I don't, but I also don't know how else to deal with this, other than tha obvious and honestly mostlikely to happen rout of CTB