
TheHatedOne
Death is salvation
- Sep 26, 2021
- 2,028
I don't care what judgements I will receive because I dare want something like this considering how I am, but anyways I'm the antagonist of everywhere so what would I expect.
Anyways, even if I try to suppress my feelings as much as possible, shrugging it off, cause that's what I have done my whole life . cause why couldn't I be like everyone else and be loved and appreciated at least by 1 person? Naaah, I had to be the o8tcast of shit and be shunned away everywhere or ostracized. So, even if I try yo shrug it off, these feelings don't let me at peacem . they refuse to leave me. So there it is, I'll say:
I want to rfuciing be loved, I want to have my feelings r3ciprocated at least for fuckint once, I beg for even one second for I will cherish even this on3 second for th3 whole that remained out of this miserable existence. Funny how it's 3 am and I'm saying my deepest feelings.
I know that I'm actively planning to go and that there's not much left, but I wish I could experience whay it is to feel having feelings actually reciprocated for one second, to have someone love you, and not just used as a pretext only to be hurt. I know its horrible of me t9 want this in such a context, but I really wanted to know how it is.
I don't know why everyone else gets to be appreciated, admired , loved, cared for and then there's me. What did I do to have this? Wasn't I born a human? Like everyone else? Am I really a monster?
Im the most undesired and hated pos that there is. No one wants me to be here (anywhere in general I mean) and I could have the worst of the worst happen to me, no one would carem.
I know that I was kept being hurt in search for "maybe I will actually find that person who will love me" only to be hurt even more. I don't know why bit had to be like this for me.
Maybe I'm really q monster and I deserve it? If past lives actually exist, I must've been Stalin or something that I'm having it like this in the present life.
If anyone actually bothered to read this, thank you. Also I'm sorry for the typosz, I'm drunk. Ithink I will get back into drinking daily, I can't anymore.
Anyways, even if I try to suppress my feelings as much as possible, shrugging it off, cause that's what I have done my whole life . cause why couldn't I be like everyone else and be loved and appreciated at least by 1 person? Naaah, I had to be the o8tcast of shit and be shunned away everywhere or ostracized. So, even if I try yo shrug it off, these feelings don't let me at peacem . they refuse to leave me. So there it is, I'll say:
I want to rfuciing be loved, I want to have my feelings r3ciprocated at least for fuckint once, I beg for even one second for I will cherish even this on3 second for th3 whole that remained out of this miserable existence. Funny how it's 3 am and I'm saying my deepest feelings.
I know that I'm actively planning to go and that there's not much left, but I wish I could experience whay it is to feel having feelings actually reciprocated for one second, to have someone love you, and not just used as a pretext only to be hurt. I know its horrible of me t9 want this in such a context, but I really wanted to know how it is.
I don't know why everyone else gets to be appreciated, admired , loved, cared for and then there's me. What did I do to have this? Wasn't I born a human? Like everyone else? Am I really a monster?
Im the most undesired and hated pos that there is. No one wants me to be here (anywhere in general I mean) and I could have the worst of the worst happen to me, no one would carem.
I know that I was kept being hurt in search for "maybe I will actually find that person who will love me" only to be hurt even more. I don't know why bit had to be like this for me.
Maybe I'm really q monster and I deserve it? If past lives actually exist, I must've been Stalin or something that I'm having it like this in the present life.
If anyone actually bothered to read this, thank you. Also I'm sorry for the typosz, I'm drunk. Ithink I will get back into drinking daily, I can't anymore.