i want to be a blissful hippie who finds joy in little things, that believes the universe has meaning

[sadgirl9999]

i grew up in a town where many had this mindset set - and SO badly i want to believe that the universe is on our side, that we are all ~divinely loved~. but i don't. idk if i'm even real or if anything is lol (gives me so much anxiety to think about that), but from what i've seen, many of us are NOT loved by the universe lol. also, i feel like many of those spiritual people are often speaking from a place of privilege. that is not to say that they haven't suffered, and i know some have gone through an immense amount (that's often not visible), so i'm not saying it in a judgmental way. but i still think it's easier to believe in some type of divine if you have a home, food, and fairly stable life. they don't really think about the people in third world countries, animals/humans being tortured, etc.... idk if that makes sense.


i can't convince myself that crystals & incense are going to help anything. and even when i see a pretty sunset or something, it's ruined by my detachedness and obsessive thinking about how cruel the world is. my cynical mind won't let me find the beauty in anything. maybe it's just because i'm in so much fucking pain, always in a bad mood, and over analyze everything....sigh :( wanna be a cute carefree girl and i'm just ... this

 

[usernameforhere]

There is good in the world. There is bad, both exists but a beautiful sunset! That's my speed!

I wonder what would happen, I mean it couldn't hurt, so I wonder what would happen if you meditated on the beautiful sunsets, on great nature, on pleasant sensations. I wonder if you'd notice them more.

 

[WornOutLife]

Sounds cool.
I would also like to be a brainwashed believer who thinks an overpowered being is taking care of him and watching him.
Imagine! Just thinking there's a heaven waiting for me if I'm a good guy. Seems awesome but I just can't.

 

[sadgirl9999]

There is good in the world. There is bad, both exists but a beautiful sunset! That's my speed!

I wonder what would happen, I mean it couldn't hurt, so I wonder what would happen if you meditated on the beautiful sunsets, on great nature, on pleasant sensations. I wonder if you'd notice them more.

i've tried traveling & yoga & therapy & socializing & meditating :( it's hard because even with that gorgeous sunset, i feel deep sadness. i cry about my bad health & evil on earth every day. wasting my twenties but idk what else to do. thank you for your comment though, it's much appreciated :)

Sounds cool.
I would also like to be a brainwashed believer who thinks an overpowered being is taking care of him and watching him.
Imagine! Just thinking there's a heaven waiting for me if I'm a good guy. Seems awesome but I just can't.

completely agree. would be so nice to have that comfort

 

[fred farkle]

wear your love like heaven..

 

[Mentalmick]

Get a haircut.

 

[TessB]

This post is so like me! I feel like I am so free spirited at heart I'd LOVE to believe all that type of stuff. I went to Glastonbury a couple of years ago when I was in a very dark place and went to all the hippie shops and went up the tor at sunset and tried to feel SOMETHING.. but all I felt was that I wished the tor had a cliff on one side so I could jump off it!! Nothing else at all..
The Wicker Man is like my favourite film and I love the idea of paganism too.. but in my heart I just think it's all just a nice idea, but nothing more :-(

 

[Mentalmick]

This post is so like me! I feel like I am so free spirited at heart I'd LOVE to believe all that type of stuff. I went to Glastonbury a couple of years ago when I was in a very dark place and went to all the hippie shops and went up the tor at sunset and tried to feel SOMETHING.. but all I felt was that I wished the tor had a cliff on one side so I could jump off it!! Nothing else at all..
The Wicker Man is like my favourite film and I love the idea of paganism too.. but in my heart I just think it's all just a nice idea, but nothing more :-(

They used to have the Wickerman festival near where I live. Although it stopped a few years ago when the organiser shot himself on his farm. Very fitting given where we are. And you should get yourself into the witchcraft, you get to dance around naked and have relations with goats.

 

[TessB]

They used to have the Wickerman festival near where I live. Although it stopped a few years ago when the organiser shot himself on his farm. Very fitting given where we are. And you should get yourself into the witchcraft, you get to dance around naked and have relations with goats.

Oh my god!! I love everything about what you just said.. I'd have love to have gone to that festival! The wicker man is just so amazing with all the folklore/ May Day tradition/ green man and stuff. LOVE IT. And if I believed in witch craft I would definitely get into it! That was something I actually bought from a shop in Glastonbury, a book on witch craft. It's such a shame I just don't think these things are real.. the world would be a far more interesting place if they were.. xx

 

[grungeCat]

As far as I know hippies abused lots of drugs to achieve their careless & happy state of soul.

 

[TessB]

They used to have the Wickerman festival near where I live. Although it stopped a few years ago when the organiser shot himself on his farm. Very fitting given where we are. And you should get yourself into the witchcraft, you get to dance around naked and have relations with goats.

maybe not the relations with goats bit

As far as I know hippies abused lots of drugs to achieve their careless & happy state of soul.

Sounds good to me

 

[grungeCat]

Sounds good to me

Yeah, I know. I do it all the time. Drugs make existence bearable. They cost a lot of money though. But money aren't important to me anymore. I'm ready to ctb now, when money ends then it's a final sign that it's time to go.