Venting i want to attempt

[TheAngelBornInHell]

I want to attempt, not ctb yet. I feel like if I attempt now, I'll get the help I need.
No matter what I do or tell my family they think I'm fine and that I'm overreacting but I genuinely need help.
I thought there was no better way to do it than to think about attempting so they can finally take me seriously.
I don't know if this is wise (obviously not) but I just can't think of any other way for them to really take me seriously or help me other than this, I mean I want to attempt on a 50/50 scale, I want to die but at the same time I'm afraid to.

 

[GargoyleFiend]

i don't advise using suicide as a means for seeking attention. i know it sounds like the people you want to care will suddenly care about you, but at least in my experience they don't care so much as they start to push you away - talk to you less, involve you in plans less - they might look at you differently, and not necessarily in the way that you want. You also might end up on a psychiatric hold, where if you're lucky you're in a regular hospital with one other person watching you all day, and if unlucky in a mental ward with screaming people and even colder staff. I had friends that I used to vent completely to, and when I attempted and landed in a mental ward, they stopped talking to me soon after and blamed me for hurting them when I was the one in pain. So think carefully. Is it that you want help? Because help is available should you want it and you don't have to attempt as a means of getting it. And the fact that you're hesitant means you still want to be alive, you just don't want to be in pain. An attempt that is failed will result in hardships in and of itself. Good luck and godspeed.

 

[whitenoise-]

i feel the same way sometimes. especially when i'm just craving attention and want to be hopeful, i fantasize about getting attention through attempting and people recognizing and understanding that i'm hurting or everything somehow getting better after.

realistically though i think it would just make things a lot worse. there's getting sent to a mental hospital, and that the couple people i've known who've attempted and lived received the opposite of care and support from friends and ultimately got cut off from a lot of friends as a result of doing so. people just generally aren't equipped to deal with friends or family attempting, and respond in confusing and hurtful ways imo

 

[divinemistress36]

Dont hurt yourself. You can check yourself into the hospital for a grippy sock vacation without hurting yourself

 

[TheAngelBornInHell]

i don't advise using suicide as a means for seeking attention. i know it sounds like the people you want to care will suddenly care about you, but at least in my experience they don't care so much as they start to push you away - talk to you less, involve you in plans less - they might look at you differently, and not necessarily in the way that you want. You also might end up on a psychiatric hold, where if you're lucky you're in a regular hospital with one other person watching you all day, and if unlucky in a mental ward with screaming people and even colder staff. I had friends that I used to vent completely to, and when I attempted and landed in a mental ward, they stopped talking to me soon after and blamed me for hurting them when I was the one in pain. So think carefully. Is it that you want help? Because help is available should you want it and you don't have to attempt as a means of getting it. And the fact that you're hesitant means you still want to be alive, you just don't want to be in pain. An attempt that is failed will result in hardships in and of itself. Good luck and godspeed.

Isee, I understand.. thank you for telling me and informing me.
I've been suicidal for the longest time, I don't know why I feel like im hesitating right now compared to the rest of the times I've considered attempting, it's probably because some events changed in real life.