Venting I want ctb cause Im afraid of my mother, mental hospitals and my psychiatrist

[tuto170]

I have been hospitalized like 6-8 times and I lost count, my mother got su used putting her own mother (my grandmother) into mental hospitals that anything I misbehave she calls in an amubalance and takes me to a psychiatric hospital.

My mother is so sneaky that she forced to sigm a waiver that I transfer my signature powers to her, so i cant do anything just to behave and be fully dependent on her.

Psychiatrists are the worse, first time I was hospitalized I received a handful of medication, like 8 tablet/pills in one go. I had severe side effects like total loss of erections, dry mouth, parkinsonism, my muscles would contract randomly, I was dizzy and had difficulty thinking and feeling emotions and woul sleep 20hrs a day.

Now my mom and psychiatrist want to search more illnesses even forces to fake neurological issues to my practitioner that I would get refferal.

Im tired, I cant run or escape from this vicious circle. I dont feel a man anymore, just a vegetable. Im so afraid to get hospitalozed again, even i religiously take my meds everyday, but hospitalization is inevitable. Psychiatric wards are worse than worst prisons.

I have no rights, no friends, no emotions no independency and no will to live

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a really horrible situation to be in. It must be so awful and tiring feeling so trapped with no relief. Life is just too cruel.

 

[AlighieriTTT]

I have been hospitalized like 6-8 times and I lost count, my mother got su used putting her own mother (my grandmother) into mental hospitals that anything I misbehave she calls in an amubalance and takes me to a psychiatric hospital.

My mother is so sneaky that she forced to sigm a waiver that I transfer my signature powers to her, so i cant do anything just to behave and be fully dependent on her.

Psychiatrists are the worse, first time I was hospitalized I received a handful of medication, like 8 tablet/pills in one go. I had severe side effects like total loss of erections, dry mouth, parkinsonism, my muscles would contract randomly, I was dizzy and had difficulty thinking and feeling emotions and woul sleep 20hrs a day.

Now my mom and psychiatrist want to search more illnesses even forces to fake neurological issues to my practitioner that I would get refferal.

Im tired, I cant run or escape from this vicious circle. I dont feel a man anymore, just a vegetable. Im so afraid to get hospitalozed again, even i religiously take my meds everyday, but hospitalization is inevitable. Psychiatric wards are worse than worst prisons.

I have no rights, no friends, no emotions no independency and no will to live

Run away, just go. This is the best thing you can do for yourself. I doubt you have the energy to fight her in court so just leave.

 

[Shadowlord900]

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? If you're over 18, unless if you're under constant surveillance or have any severe physical disabilities, it shouldn't be too difficult to get away from your mother.

If you have any other family or relative and you're confident they won't send you back to your mother, go to them. Otherwise get a hold of whatever money you can, change your appearance as much as possible to take on a new identity and take as many bus rides as you can, ideally to somewhere that has a homeless shelter as far from your home town as possible.