Help I wanna mangle my body

[SamInAnEppisode]

I wanna totally mangle my body, cover it in scars untill I eill be seen as a monster. Untill I can't cover them up anymore. I want people to belive me if I would have told them that I was put into a meat grinder.

I have selfharmed with a lot of things (bladed from shaperner, razor blades, scissors, cutter ect) and while they leave scars, they aren't affective enough. The scars are too smal and the chance that it will not be seen too high.

I dont know what to do anymore I just wanna be done with this body.

Can someone please give me anything. Any advise hoe to get big/many scars would be thankfull

 

[FallingGrace]

Look up Kelly Ronahan. Happy googling.

 

[tsykoais]

i mean it's your body, but why?

 

[SamInAnEppisode]

i mean it's your body, but why?

I dont like my body. Selfharm became my way of dealing with anything. I see people with scars bigger then mine and i know that will always be the case but not having scars big enough always made me feel like I didn't deserve to do anything other selfharm

 

[FallingGrace]

Also @coldnessinmyheart is another one

Edit: link (TW: graphic images)

 

[tsykoais]

I dont like my body. Selfharm became my way of dealing with anything. I see people with scars bigger then mine and i know that will always be the case but not having scars big enough always made me feel like I didn't deserve to do anything other selfharm

when i used to cut i used to use more force so it'd go deeper. but idk if it's within forum rules to give advice for non-lethal self harm,

 

[$crim]

Also @coldnessinmyheart is another one

coldnessinmyheart is so tragic, she used to go around on my tumblr feed quite a lot back when she was super active.
my heart aches for her, and i hope shes recovered - but i fear the worst.

I dont like my body. Selfharm became my way of dealing with anything. I see people with scars bigger then mine and i know that will always be the case but not having scars big enough always made me feel like I didn't deserve to do anything other selfharm

this also resonated with me quite a lot. much like other coping mechanisms, s/h can be awfully competitive and im sorry you feel this way, op. im not saying to stop or anything to deter you from what path you think is right, im just sorry that you believe your struggles are invalid compared to others. i hope things even out for you soon!