I used to want connections. Now I can't get close to anyone because I know I'm going to CTB sooner or later.

[gonnaAbstract]

I've become extremely depressed and now I'm certain I need to CTB. I used to want connections so bad, but now that I'm serious about eventually ending it, I cannot get close to anyone. I already feel guilty enough for leaving my mom and sister, they will be devastated. But my mom is strong and my sister is in good hands, so I'm sure they'll be okay. I just need to untether my soul from this broken mind.

 

[ScarletTanager]

feel ya

 

[3rdworldsadness]

I never had normal human connection what I have is, just alienation. And I won't be too sad about any relationships I guess. My main concern is that I will never find a way to actually live my desired life where I have my respect, my good wellbeing.... that's a a dream.

 

[ScarletTanager]

I never had normal human connection what I have is, just alienation. And I won't be too sad about any relationships I guess. My main concern is that I will never find a way to actually live my desired life where I have my respect, my good wellbeing.... that's a a dream.

Studies show that the gap between our ideas about our IDEAL self and life, and the life we actually live and perceive as being bad, is what actually induces people to commit suicide. I'm with you there, my desires life is far far behind me way back somewhere in the past, never to reach fruition, so it's yes as you state…like a "dream"…

 

[unluckysadness]

Same. I stopped talking to some people to protect them since I'm serious about ctb soon.