I urgently need to go - ctb by serotonin syndrome?

[GoneGoneGone]

Someone needs to put it bluntly I hate to burst your bubble but there is a very tiny chance of dying and using a patronising tone to people throwing you some advice doesn't mean the success chances increase. You're more likely to end up worse off either physically or mentally damaged and if like me you get psychosis, it's possible to do major things you regret. It fluctuates your emotions terribly you could end up becoming enraged and killing someone.

We're not making it a lousy method, we wish it was reliable. Or are you just looking for attention...

I apologize if I offended anyone. Obviously I am disturbed and mentally unwell. My mental health issues involve psychosis, which is precisely one of the reasons I want to ctb. I do not want to harm others or be an encumbrance. I followed the rules, if you feel suicidal tell a close person or a family member, and my family does not want to hear about it anymore, and my partner is risking their job by spending so much time looking after me. So I am objectively making other people's lives worse. My messages may have sounded patronizing simply because they were short as I was typing from my phone, since my partner checks my laptop as well.

 

[Mm80]

I apologize if I offended anyone. Obviously I am disturbed and mentally unwell. My mental health issues involve psychosis, which is precisely one of the reasons I want to ctb. I do not want to harm others or be an encumbrance. I followed the rules, if you feel suicidal tell a close person or a family member, and my family does not want to hear about it anymore, and my partner is risking their job by spending so much time looking after me. So I am objectively making other people's lives worse. My messages may have sounded patronizing simply because they were short as I was typing from my phone, since my partner checks my laptop as well.

That's a bit better lol you have shared what's going on a bit more so people can sympathise. Im sorry your going through this x

 

[GoneGoneGone]

That's a bit better lol you have shared what's going on a bit more so people can sympathise. Im sorry your going through this x

Thank you. I could explain the poor decisions that I have made (or my family background) and what led me here, or I could detail the awful end result in terms of mental health diagnosis, but I'm not sure it's of much help to anyone. I have already made my decision, I am honestly not looking for attention. The problem is that I am extremely frazzled and monitored that I do not have the wherewithal to properly research methods (try going through the 75 pages of the partial method). From what I see SN is the best and most peaceful, but I do not know how to get it past my partner since they check the mail... Should I start a new thread about this? What would you suggest? Thank you

 

[Mm80]

Thank you. I could explain the poor decisions that I have made (or my family background) and what led me here, or I could detail the awful end result in terms of mental health diagnosis, but I'm not sure it's of much help to anyone. I have already made my decision, I am honestly not looking for attention. The problem is that I am extremely frazzled and monitored that I do not have the wherewithal to properly research methods (try going through the 75 pages of the partial method). From what I see SN is the best and most peaceful, but I do not know how to get it past my partner since they check the mail... Should I start a new thread about this? What would you suggest? Thank you

Possibly start a thread about that. But it seems that rightly or wromgly, you do not have tbe autonomy or independance to choose your fate. Im not sure what anyone could suggest in your scenario.

 

[toomuchtimetodie]

family does not want to hear about it anymore, and my partner is risking their job by spending so much time looking after me. So I am objectively making other people's lives worse. my partner checks my laptop as well.

When you put it like that i see it must be frustrating in your situation if you're struggling to research so I apologize my reply was abrupt but it's also frustrating when you see people that are also suffering themselves and taking the time to try to help you. I hope you see where I was coming from.
I know it's difficult but really just try to take 5 minutes and evaluate your situation how you can progress to what you wish to do, you certainly don't sound incapable. Just like others have said very impulsive and desperate.
I must say that not many people have a family that are even willing to listen so you're not alone there, you do however seem to have a partner that cares about you... Most would run a mile at the first time of trouble, I don't want this to upset you but have you properly thought through when you make out that you're a hindrance to your partner... They seem to be conscously risking their job because they think you are worth helping and it's their choice to decide if their life is better with you in it. It's hard to tell that you've "made the decision" because you truly need to die, or you are rushing into it.
Sorry I'm not a psychologist or psychic and shouldn't have even commented to begin with. I just wanted to say my comment wasn't trying to be insensitive.

I wish you the best for you.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

When you put it like that i see it must be frustrating in your situation if you're struggling to research so I apologize my reply was abrupt but it's also frustrating when you see people that are also suffering themselves and taking the time to try to help you. I hope you see where I was coming from.
I know it's difficult but really just try to take 5 minutes and evaluate your situation how you can progress to what you wish to do, you certainly don't sound incapable. Just like others have said very impulsive and desperate.
I must say that not many people have a family that are even willing to listen so you're not alone there, you do however seem to have a partner that cares about you... Most would run a mile at the first time of trouble, I don't want this to upset you but have you properly thought through when you make out that you're a hindrance to your partner... They seem to be conscously risking their job because they think you are worth helping and it's their choice to decide if their life is better with you in it. It's hard to tell that you've "made the decision" because you truly need to die, or you are rushing into it.
Sorry I'm not a psychologist or psychic and shouldn't have even commented to begin with. I just wanted to say my comment wasn't trying to be insensitive.

I wish you the best for you.

Thank you, no need to apologize, I apologize for being incoherent, frantic, and sounding patronizing. I took a sedative today and it seems to be working. I do want to die. I have had 3 attempts in the last 3 months, and multiple in 2018 and 2019. In 2018 I tried the bag + benzos, in 2019 multiple partials (and even now I am in pain when swallowing - so irreparable damage), and this year a pregabalin OD once and woke up, an antipsychotic OD (the ambulance didn't even come, they let me ride it out for 2 days as I was a 'frequent flier'), and lastly a big pack of peanuts to which I used to have an allergy, but only broke out in hives... I have driven everyone around me mental. I guess my partner (and partially my mother) are trying to keep me alive because my problems started with being hit by a car (near death, but developed mental health issues, housebound). They are convinced there is a reason why I survived, while I believe it was just one incident in a long stream of bad luck occurrences. Today I was very much at peace reading about SN and knowing that there is a peaceful way out, and that I don't need to hack at my carotid (pardon the details). So definitely you'll be seeing me here for a while, hoping that some understanding souls will be with me through this journey out.

 

[toomuchtimetodie]

In other walks of life and a different forum I've been much harder work than you when I've been how your state of mind was yesterday mate, that's why I knew the only way to get someone out of it is to be blunt. You will get alot of people wanting to help you now.
I would just advise Due to your impulsivity don't rush into buying SN... Like everything else in life alot of sources are scam sellers and fake product. Be sure whoever you get information from is a very highly regarded member here or similar. I'm talking a long term member and thousands of positive feedbacks. As you get people on here just to take advantage of the likes of us.
If a good source dropped on my lap I would choose it over the train method that most people hate me for here.

 

[itstoolateforme]

I've already received PM's about this and to save time and effort I'll post a guide.



I didn't. It has already been discussed in this forum, although very briefly. I've simply done more research.

@idonk

Havent seen this guide yet… can someone link it below when they have a chance. Having trouble with other methods