I turn 25 next week and I am a complete loser

[FireFox]

When I was younger i always thought at 25 years old I will be living independently on my own in a different neighbourhood or even country, travelling around the world,having a stable career, a boyfriend who loves me and just be successful in life doing amazing things. When I was younger I really wanted to do big things with my life when I leave school. I wanted to go to university to study law which is what I did then do so many exciting things with my life. I didn't even meet a guy at university and feel apart after graduating university.

I turn 25 next week and I am a complete failure. My employer couldnt afford to keep me now I am unemployed and on welfare, never had a boyfriend and still a virgin, I am so immature for my age in so many ways.

I f*cking failed to have my life together. Its so embarrassing. 25 years and nothing to show for my life

My family say they are proud of me because I am not a young mother or in rehab like my other relatives in the family. My family can't even see how messed up I really am. No matter how much my body ages mentally I always feel like the unpopular werid teenage girl who was always rejected by guys and struggled to fit in anywhere.

I am catching the bus at 30. I don't want to see another decade.

 

[Cryptonite]

When I was younger i always thought at 25 years old I will be living independently on my own in a different neighbourhood or even country, travelling around the world,having a stable career, a boyfriend who loves me and just be successful in life doing amazing things. When I was younger I really wanted to do big things with my life when I leave school. I wanted to go to university to study law which is what I did then do so many exciting things with my life. I didn't even meet a guy at university and feel apart after graduating university.

I turn 25 next week and I am a complete failure. My employer couldnt afford to keep me now I am unemployed and on welfare, never had a boyfriend and still a virgin, I am so immature for my age in so many ways.

I f*cking failed to have my life together. Its so embarrassing. 25 years and nothing to show for my life

My family say they are proud of me because I am not a young mother or in rehab like my other relatives in the family. My family can't even see how messed up I really am. No matter how much my body ages mentally I always feel like the unpopular werid teenage girl who was always rejected by guys and struggled to fit in anywhere.

I am catching the bus at 30. I don't want to see another decade.

Keep in mind that all these requirements that you set for yourself reflect rather "Instagram life" than real life. Personally I've seen basically no one at this age fulfilling all of them, or even majority of them.

 

[Hurt]

I am in my late 20s and also my family can't see the mess that I am. I feel like a failure too. You are not alone. Many people feel like this.
And I agree to what user above said. We dont have to be so rude with ourselves if we dont fulfill our goals.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

When I was younger i always thought at 25 years old I will be living independently on my own in a different neighbourhood or even country, travelling around the world,having a stable career, a boyfriend who loves me and just be successful in life doing amazing things. When I was younger I really wanted to do big things with my life when I leave school. I wanted to go to university to study law which is what I did then do so many exciting things with my life. I didn't even meet a guy at university and feel apart after graduating university.

I turn 25 next week and I am a complete failure. My employer couldnt afford to keep me now I am unemployed and on welfare, never had a boyfriend and still a virgin, I am so immature for my age in so many ways.

I f*cking failed to have my life together. Its so embarrassing. 25 years and nothing to show for my life

My family say they are proud of me because I am not a young mother or in rehab like my other relatives in the family. My family can't even see how messed up I really am. No matter how much my body ages mentally I always feel like the unpopular werid teenage girl who was always rejected by guys and struggled to fit in anywhere.

I am catching the bus at 30. I don't want to see another decade.

Well, that's 5 years for things to turn around for you. You never know, they might. But, you have to put yourself out there some. Take chances. Fail. Have your heart broken. Get back up. Do it again. That's what the winners do. They take chances until one finally pays off.

And I'm 56, so that must make me more than a complete loser, maybe the ultimate loser. Yeah! I'm the winner! I'm the ultimate loser of the world! Yeah! Yeah!

 

[FuneralCry]

This life can be very depressing and so disappointing. I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, I also do not want to be alive for another decade, to me it is horrifying the thought of getting older. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[rabbitlinnt10]

im very happy ill be staying 20 forever :) i completely understand

 

[Hotsackage]

Im 34 live with mom and on disability for severe ocd depression. So yes im like you. No life or anything

 

[Why Me?]

When I was younger i always thought at 25 years old I will be living independently on my own in a different neighbourhood or even country, travelling around the world,having a stable career, a boyfriend who loves me and just be successful in life doing amazing things. When I was younger I really wanted to do big things with my life when I leave school. I wanted to go to university to study law which is what I did then do so many exciting things with my life. I didn't even meet a guy at university and feel apart after graduating university.

I turn 25 next week and I am a complete failure. My employer couldnt afford to keep me now I am unemployed and on welfare, never had a boyfriend and still a virgin, I am so immature for my age in so many ways.

I f*cking failed to have my life together. Its so embarrassing. 25 years and nothing to show for my life

My family say they are proud of me because I am not a young mother or in rehab like my other relatives in the family. My family can't even see how messed up I really am. No matter how much my body ages mentally I always feel like the unpopular werid teenage girl who was always rejected by guys and struggled to fit in anywhere.

I am catching the bus at 30. I don't want to see another decade.

I understand how you feel, but please understand that things could be worse and you still have some good things going for you. It's a good thing that you are virgin, and have not wasted your body on a piece of trash dude. The right guy will appreciate your virginity. You have a family that's willing to encourage you & support you, instead of putting you down. You still have time to improve your life, and really enjoy it. There have been women that have ended up in similar positions who started businesses using social media and became millionaires. You can view this time in your life as a great opportunity that others do not have. You can spend this time for self-development.

 

[jcksonb22]

When I was younger i always thought at 25 years old I will be living independently on my own in a different neighbourhood or even country, travelling around the world,having a stable career, a boyfriend who loves me and just be successful in life doing amazing things. When I was younger I really wanted to do big things with my life when I leave school. I wanted to go to university to study law which is what I did then do so many exciting things with my life. I didn't even meet a guy at university and feel apart after graduating university.

I turn 25 next week and I am a complete failure. My employer couldnt afford to keep me now I am unemployed and on welfare, never had a boyfriend and still a virgin, I am so immature for my age in so many ways.

I f*cking failed to have my life together. Its so embarrassing. 25 years and nothing to show for my life

My family say they are proud of me because I am not a young mother or in rehab like my other relatives in the family. My family can't even see how messed up I really am. No matter how much my body ages mentally I always feel like the unpopular werid teenage girl who was always rejected by guys and struggled to fit in anywhere.

I am catching the bus at 30. I don't want to see another decade.

you're still very young. majority of people don't have it figured out yet at that age

 

[jimmy7754]

I wish I joined the military out of college.

 

[FireFox]

I am in my late 20s and also my family can't see the mess that I am. I feel like a failure too. You are not alone. Many people feel like this.
And I agree to what user above said. We dont have to be so rude with ourselves if we dont fulfill our goals.

@Scarred
Thanks :)

I absoultely love the Cillian Murphy profile picture. I loved cillian Murphy way before he did Peaky Blinders. The first time i saw a movie with Cillian Murphy was in the movie inception, i thought he was cute and talented. I love Leonadaro Di capiro and Elliot page too. I love the movie inception

I am just frustrated with myself because I was someone who took school seriously and was always worried about failing exams. I am just so disappointed in how my life turned out to be.

I wish I joined the military out of college.

@jimmy7754
No No No if you survived you would have ended up with PTSD like most vetrans or homeless or in jail
Vetrans have the highest rates of substance abuse, prison incarcerations and as well as homelessness. This is mainly because a lot of veteran's struggle to cope with civilian life after the military and there is not enough government support to help Vetrans too.

There is also the high risk of being captured by enemy forces. There was a story of an US solider who was captured by the taliban and Obama had to do some prisoner swap deal to bring back that one solider home. It caused a lot of controversy because Obama traded around about 5 taliban to bring back 1 solider back home.

Joining the military I don't believe is worth it because most of these countries don't even want troops from America or the UK in their countries.

im very happy ill be staying 20 forever :) i completely understand

@rabbitlinnt10

I always thought dying young is so cool. People give a person more dignity and appreciation of an individual when they die young the appreciation is much greater than when the person was alive. Look all the nice condolences people get when they die young. Look at the beautiful tributes people make for young car crash victims, cancer suffers, suicide victims and other deaths.

If you are young and invisible nobody cares but when you're young and dead everyone cares. People change a lot when someone dies. It's fascinating to witness how people change when a death comes. I am seeing this observation now since one my relatives died.

I envy celebrities who joined the 27 club.

Well, that's 5 years for things to turn around for you. You never know, they might. But, you have to put yourself out there some. Take chances. Fail. Have your heart broken. Get back up. Do it again. That's what the winners do. They take chances until one finally pays off.

And I'm 56, so that must make me more than a complete loser, maybe the ultimate loser. Yeah! I'm the winner! I'm the ultimate loser of the world! Yeah! Yeah!

@locked*n*loaded

My teenage years, early 20s and mid 20s have been a f*cking mess. I don't want to see my 30s. I wasted my life

My teenage were not that great because of the bullying and struggling to fit in at school. I was unpopular werid girl at school and I f*cking hated it. I fought back against the builles and got in to plenty of fights and arguments in school.

I don't care what anyone says bring the unpopular werid girl at school was f*cking worst because it is pure loneliness and confusion.

I had a section of the school population which hated me and made my life at school complete hell then another section of the school population did not even want to be around me or know me so it was difficult to make friends and fit in.

I was even unpopular amoung my own girl group of friends that i made. Sometimes they said me mean things about me when I was not around, excluded me from things and a new girl came in the group who didn't want me around. My friends tolerated her.

This is was the worst one : I had a crush on a boy. I really liked him because he was funny, Smart and handsome. I thought he was different but it turned out he was like everyone else in the school population who was thought I was the werid girl and he pushed me away :(

- Nobody wants to know the real you. A new kid came to the school and couple of months later he said to me in front of the entire class "people warned me about you" he heard all the stories at school about me.

My 20s were spent feeling depressed and inadequate then my mid 20s were spent in lockdowns. I really thought things were changing when I got a new job after the end of 3rd lockdown then this year in February my job ended and my employer said they couldn't afford to keep me now I am back to square one.

 

[Ashu]

It's a good thing that you are virgin, and have not wasted your body on a piece of trash dude.

This is an ill and destructive and essentially misogynist way of thinking about sex that creates sexual misery. Virginity is not pure, it is not a prize or treasure that is "wasted" or "lost" if you have sex with some kind of "wrong" person.

 

[FireFox]

I understand how you feel, but please understand that things could be worse and you still have some good things going for you. It's a good thing that you are virgin, and have not wasted your body on a piece of trash dude. The right guy will appreciate your virginity. You have a family that's willing to encourage you & support you, instead of putting you down. You still have time to improve your life, and really enjoy it. There have been women that have ended up in similar positions who started businesses using social media and became millionaires. You can view this time in your life as a great opportunity that others do not have. You can spend this time for self-development.

@Why Me?

Aww thank you

Being an adult virgin is just physical reminder of how I was never seen as pretty by the guys and how I never matured really. Majority of women had their first boyfriend as a teenager whereas I am just a minority. Its hard hearing women share stories of their relationships and I can't relate to any of it because I never had a boyfriend. It is so lonely. We live in a culture where relationships are constantly promoted look at TV shows/films and celebrity drama.

I had go through school years seeing the girls in my class have boys notice them, ask them out on dates or to prom whereas that didn't happen for me. Seeing everyone have relationships at school it was like everyone was growing up except me.

I was the unpopular werid girl at school as a result guys made fun of me or wanted nothing to do with me because of my reputation of being the unpopular werid outsider girl.
I really liked this guy him because he was funny, Smart and handsome. I talked to him a lot at school and people could see I liked him a lot. People in the school started to talk about us then he started to push me away but I couldn't understand why.

I thought he was different but it turned out he was like everyone else in the school who was thought I was the werid girl :(

 

[FireFox]

This is an ill and destructive and essentially misogynist way of thinking about sex that creates sexual misery. Virginity is not pure, it is not a prize or treasure that is "wasted" or "lost" if you have sex with some kind of "wrong" person.

@Ashu

When it comes to the perspective of virginity it all varies from culture. I am child of immigrants so I am stuck between two cultures

In my parents culture they disapprove of young women getting pregnant without being married first and being an adult virgin is seen as something respectable. In the UK which is the country I was born in and lived throughout my life its normal for teenagers to have sexual relationships

Growing up I was made fun of by other girls my age because I didn't have boyfriends or sexual relationships they had. I did feel like an outsider because girls were having relationships and I didn't. In western society adult virginity is mocked and society sees you as this freak or something wrong you.

On reddit men even made fun of me for still being a virgin in my 20s. In the real world people get shocked when I tell them I never had a relationship. I am a freak.

Based on my experience, the guy that I lost my virginity to caused me long term damage, because he was a whore that was cheating on me, so shut up! God forbid a virgin stays away from the disadvantages of losing their virginity to the WRONG guy that can make their life worse, what's wrong with you! My positivity had absolutely nothing to do with what you just said. When in the hell did I say or imply that sex creates misery, you dumb ass. However, it can in the end if you give it to the wrong person.

@Why Me?

Virtual hug

I am so sorry that happened to you. You are a such sweet person you deserved so much better

 

[FireFox]

you're still very young. majority of people don't have it figured out yet at that age

@jcksonb22

It doesn't feel that way at all because all I feel is my life passing me and all I have done is waste it.My 20s were spent feeling depressed and inadequate then my mid 20s were spent in lockdowns. Only in lockdown I finally began to regret taking everything for granted and realising how good the old pre pandemic world was. The year in lockdown I truly began to regret wasting my life choices as physically and mentally I could feel my entire life passing me by.

I really thought things were changing when I got a new job after the end of 3rd lockdown then this year in February my job ended and my employer said they couldn't afford to keep me now I am back to square one.

 

[savoytruffle]

im so sorry you're stuck in this situation, im pretty much in the same boat, only a bit younger. literally done nothing with my life, only wasted opportunities. nothing

 

[MicropBaldCurrycel]

At the end of the day we are all losers , going into the some ground and decomposing, a king and a slave both rot...... everything is a façade and human added value. all smoke and mirrors.

"You are not special. You're not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We're all part of the same compost heap. We're all singing, all dancing crap of the world."
― Chuck Palahniuk, quote from Fight Club

 

[FireFox]

Im 34 live with mom and on disability for severe ocd depression. So yes im like you. No life or anything

@Hotsackage

Virtual hug I am so sorry to hear that. The human mind is so cruel. It is so scary how our own bodies can turn against us.

 

[milly]

But you're only 25!?

 

[FireFox]

Keep in mind that all these requirements that you set for yourself reflect rather "Instagram life" than real life. Personally I've seen basically no one at this age fulfilling all of them, or even majority of them.

@Cryptonite

Everyone around me is so successful with their lives. My former university friends have jobs and are living in their own in different towns and cities.
Before the pandemic happened I went to a party in 2019 which my former classmates where there. Its hard not feel like a failure when see your former classmates having careers, children and doing all these cool things in their life since leaving school. One of my classmates is an NHS doctor, another classmate went to Oxford University, got married and has a career in a pr firm all at 23 years old and others have stable jobs, another guy who always popular and got the girls he travels around the world with his girlfriend he met at university.

We live in a culture which constantly magnifies youth success especially within a persons early 20s or even teens ie the forbes under 30 list, reality TV culture, times magazine feature of youth activitism, rise of Greta Thunberg , Tik Tok , influencer culture and so much more. If you are young and successful society puts you on a pedestal. It is literally impossible not to feel like a failure when society constantly promotes young people doing big things before they hit 30.

It's doesn't help either I have relatives who love to show off how successful they are.

It's like everyone around me has something good going for them and I have nothing going for me.

But you're only 25!?

@milly

I am 24 but I am days away from turning 25. I am a loser.

 

[FireFox]

im so sorry you're stuck in this situation, im pretty much in the same boat, only a bit younger. literally done nothing with my life, only wasted opportunities. nothing

@savoytruffle

Aww big virtual hug for you. The most f*cked up thing is older people tell me that they wish they were my age again. 20s f*cking suck and I am not enjoying them at all.

Since you're younger than me you can still turn it around, trust me. Don't make my mistakes

-I regret wasting my early 20s DONT MAKE THIS MISTAKE otherwise you will regret it once you hit mid 20s like I did. When it hits you it is the worst depression and regret combined together.

Things I wished I knew in my early 20s

- Don't spend your life following celebrity culture because its a fake culture. I learnt in the pandemic celebrities when they are not making their music or acting or doing whatever they are paid to do celebrities lose relevance. In the end just become ordinary people with just lots of wealth . The Celebrities hold the general public to absolute contempt and live in a world of their own. Not all celebrities are like that but there many celebrities who true colours really did come out in the lockdown especially the way they were being so self centred even millions were struggling with pandemic and lockdowns. I learnt I wasted my entire life following these people.

- Don't waste time at home binge watching Netflix or reality TV shows. I should have spent more time doing something more productive with my time ie learn a new skill, do a meaningful volunteering project, spend more time outside etc

- if you are in school or university then use the time at university to volunteer long term for things to help boost cv. I did volunteering at university but I should have continued longer like ie a year. I did a volunteer placement for 3 months and it wasn't enough for employers even though I did a lot of projects.

- if you're severely depressed then don't expect the people you care about to listen or care or even save you. I made that huge mistake hoping someone would care but people just let me down when I needed them. I told one university friend I was suicidal and she stopped talking to me pretty much and another friend avoided me really. My family just didn't want to listen when I was said I was depressed.

Trust me you can turn it around you just need to be more careful with your decisions and who you trust really. Don't make my mistakes

Good luck

Love
Firefox

At the end of the day we are all losers , going into the some ground and decomposing, a king and a slave both rot...... everything is a façade and human added value. all smoke and mirrors.

"You are not special. You're not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We're all part of the same compost heap. We're all singing, all dancing crap of the world."
― Chuck Palahniuk, quote from Fight Club

@MicropBaldCurrycel

Sadly you're right but it's so hard when we live in a world where everybody shows off their achievements . It's impossible not to feel like a failure when we are constantly exposed to people in my age group doing huge things before 30

I feel like complete sh*t seeing people my age appesr in the forbes under 30 list or do so,e huge achievement that gets media recognition.

This life can be very depressing and so disappointing. I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, I also do not want to be alive for another decade, to me it is horrifying the thought of getting older. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

@FuneralCry

I absoultely hate being physically healthy because what good is being physically healthy if you don't know what to do with your life?
It's not fair why is someone like me who hasn't done anything meaningful with their lives physically healthy and allowed to have all these years while someone terminally ill who really wants to live can't.

It is so not f*cking fair

All I want is to sleep forever.

 

[milly]

@milly

I am 24 but I am days away from turning 25. I am a loser.

i mean you got ample time to make up for it. Get off your bum, dress up, have some weed, get laid, get on with the program.

i often wonder if my own depression is not alibi for being a loser. I see it more as second chances.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Your politicians lied to you . There isn't enough oil to sustain the corporate narratives you were fed. The tee vee told you that you could have 4000 square feet and a Mercedes just like the boomers did to compensate for their small penises

A coterie of rich country elites will enjoy the remaining mineral wealth of the world until their propaganda can no longer be maintained .

Until then… good luck !

 

[Superdeterminist]

I relate to you very much on grieving over a dull life that lacks many good things. However, I don't think it is a choice. Many people who live uneventful lives like us never wished for things to pan out that way, they just did. There are some who have no issue with their quiet and inert lives, but this is only showing the diversity in human psychology. They speak for themselves and we speak for ourselves.

Opportunities and fulfillment only come with luck. For some awful reason that I'm sure cannot be justified, the universe conspires to create some lives of agonising solitude and longing. I can stand outside of myself and realise that's what it has done.

 

[Ashu]

I'm sorry for the harshness of my reply.

 

[dredd1981]

When I was younger i always thought at 25 years old I will be living independently on my own in a different neighbourhood or even country, travelling around the world,having a stable career, a boyfriend who loves me and just be successful in life doing amazing things. When I was younger I really wanted to do big things with my life when I leave school. I wanted to go to university to study law which is what I did then do so many exciting things with my life. I didn't even meet a guy at university and feel apart after graduating university.

I turn 25 next week and I am a complete failure. My employer couldnt afford to keep me now I am unemployed and on welfare, never had a boyfriend and still a virgin, I am so immature for my age in so many ways.

I f*cking failed to have my life together. Its so embarrassing. 25 years and nothing to show for my life

My family say they are proud of me because I am not a young mother or in rehab like my other relatives in the family. My family can't even see how messed up I really am. No matter how much my body ages mentally I always feel like the unpopular werid teenage girl who was always rejected by guys and struggled to fit in anywhere.

I am catching the bus at 30. I don't want to see another decade.

Dude, I can't really act all "it gets better" because I'm 41 and here I am on this site with you…..when I was 25 I was still living at home, it was my dream to be a cop so I took a temp job while I was applying. I remember listening to that four non blondes song "what's going on" and totally relating. But half way through my 25th year I got my dream job and stayed in it until degenerative disc disease forced me out. I was a virgin until I was maybe 23 and I'm still nerdy. So don't think just because you're 25 and don't have xyz that you're a loser. We all mature at different rates and we all go through different shit. If you still feel the same way at 30 then, it's your life, have at it. But you're still young, none of us knows what's around the corner…good or bad. For me, I got to 40 and remember patting myself on the back at how well my life was going. Then less than a year later it all turns to shit. Life can go from bad to good or good to bad at the drop of a hat so yeah, pls don't give up just yet :)

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I want to say. I really ADMIRE you because yeah you had it rough but you didn't allow men to use you and I'm jealous. I have so much respect for you because you fought the bullies and were very assertive I think you may be surprised your life could become something great. Yeah the bullies sucked but you can still find someone because you still have so much value to the world. I know the bullies sucked at least you were wise. I really admire your courage and I want to know what caused you to fight them back? I always was like a scared dog and I don't know why. I wish I fought them back but my dumb parents never taught me to fight back and stand up for myself and were neglectful we had no tools to fight back. You should put your kids in karate and self defense classes against predatory humans

 

[Fengshuiside]

This is an ill and destructive and essentially misogynist way of thinking about sex that creates sexual misery. Virginity is not pure, it is not a prize or treasure that is "wasted" or "lost" if you have sex with some kind of "wrong" person.

True. I guess they tried to make the virgin-status, which nowadays is often seen as a shameful/bad thing into something to be proud of. I think it's neither, it's just neutral. One doesn't have to suck in these kind of beliefs from the outside world. Whether you're 20, 30 or 40 years old and still a virgin, it honestly doesn't matter. It doesn't make you more or less of a loser whether you've ever had sex or not even if others think so.

You see the absurdity of this when even many men in the lower socio-economic status(drug addicts/outcasts) consider themselves successful only for having a lot of sex despite everything else in their life being utter shit. It doesn't seem worthwhile to me to think less of yourself for being a virgin. Just my 2 cents.

 

[FireFox]

I want to say. I really ADMIRE you because yeah you had it rough but you didn't allow men to use you and I'm jealous. I have so much respect for you because you fought the bullies and were very assertive I think you may be surprised your life could become something great. Yeah the bullies sucked but you can still find someone because you still have so much value to the world. I know the bullies sucked at least you were wise. I really admire your courage and I want to know what caused you to fight them back? I always was like a scared dog and I don't know why. I wish I fought them back but my dumb parents never taught me to fight back and stand up for myself and were neglectful we had no tools to fight back. You should put your kids in karate and self defense classes against predatory humans

@Journeytoletgo
I ended up getting the reputation at school as crazy werid girl because of the crazy things I did when fighting back against the builles giving me problems. I was screaming at the bullies in class and at school this is what led to massive arguments and fights breaking out in school, I kicked one boy in the balls and wasn't scared to throw pens books at the people giving me problems in class. Some teachers were good at dealing with the bullying but many other teachers were just weak and didn't do much. I got irritated by the behaviour of my classmates doing the bullying and my tolerance to bullsh*t is naturally very low. I was builled for all kinds of reasons ie not having close friends, having weave on hair which is extentions for black women and just anything people could find about me to make fun of. My personality is quite eccentric.

I hated being the unpopular girl because it was difficult to make friends and build relationships because the school population didn't like me.

A new boy came to my school and was placed in one of my classes. The new kid became quite popular amoung classmates and teachers. A couple of months later the boy was not happy with something i did in class and he said outloud in front of the entire class"people warned me about you". He all heard the stories about me from my classmates. It really did hurt what he said because I realised this how people in the school saw me as person.

When I was 16 I really liked this boy in school because I liked how intelligent and funny he was. Everyone in the school could see i liked him a lot and did talk about us especially the fact he was in the upper sixth year 13 ( called senior year in America) and i was in the lower sixth( year 12) . The more I got closer and talked to him at school the more I noticed he kept pushing me away, I couldn't understand why. He didn't even have the guts to reject to me all he did was push me away. Worst of all he knew i liked him a lot.

One day we had massive argument at school with me screaming the school down. After our fight he gave me the most disapproving glare and didn't even talk to me that look he gave me it was transparent he was disgusted at me. I learnt from his friends he didn't care how upset he made me then I slowly realised he was like just everyone else in the school who was thought I was the werid crazy freak girl. It was revolting to witness because I really thought he was different.

No matter how much my body ages I always mentally feel like the rejected unpopular werid teenage teenage girl I was.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

@Journeytoletgo
I ended up getting the reputation at school as crazy werid girl because of the crazy things I did when fighting back against the builles giving me problems. I was screaming at the bullies in class and at school this is what led to massive arguments and fights breaking out in school, I kicked one boy in the balls and wasn't scared to throw pens books at the people giving me problems in class. Some teachers were good at dealing with the bullying but many other teachers were just weak and didn't do much. I got irritated by the behaviour of my classmates doing the bullying and my tolerance to bullsh*t is naturally very low. I was builled for all kinds of reasons ie not having close friends, having weave on hair which is extentions for black women and just anything people could find about me to make fun of. My personality is quite eccentric.

I hated being the unpopular girl because it was difficult to make friends and build relationships because the school population didn't like me.

A new boy came to my school and was placed in one of my classes. The new kid became quite popular amoung classmates and teachers. A couple of months later the boy was not happy with something i did in class and he said outloud in front of the entire class"people warned me about you". He all heard the stories about me from my classmates. It really did hurt what he said because I realised this how people in the school saw me as person.

When I was 16 I really liked this boy in school because I liked how intelligent and funny he was. Everyone in the school could see i liked him a lot and did talk about us especially the fact he was in the upper sixth year 13 ( called senior year in America) and i was in the lower sixth( year 12) . The more I got closer and talked to him at school the more I noticed he kept pushing me away, I couldn't understand why. He didn't even have the guts to reject to me all he did was push me away. Worst of all he knew i liked him a lot.

One day we had massive argument at school with me screaming the school down. After our fight he gave me the most disapproving glare and didn't even talk to me. I learnt from his friends he didn't care how upset he made me then I slowly realised he was like everyone else in the school who was thought I was the werid crazy freak girl. It was revolting to witness because I really thought he was different.

No matter how much my body ages I always mentally feel like the rejected unpopular werid teenage teenage girl I was.

I think you're badass though. I really admire you for your strengths. Yes I know you had a lot to deal with and it's upsetting it ruined your development socially and there is a lot of trauma but I just think you shouldn't be so hard on yourself because you're courageous you are VERY brave I think if you were in USA you would climb social latter fine because you kick ass lol. I wish I was near you in my youth I'm 5 years older than you but if I was near you I'd be your friend and I think you would have helped me get a back bone. I was terrified of standing up to the bullies. You are BRAVE I'm a coward and I'm bitter realizing I had nothing to lose I wish I carried a pocket knife to school and knew karate to kick their asses. I felt so horrible my grades were bad. People Threw paper at me, threw things at me because of my acne and being quiet. A boy came up to me and asked why I don't talk to people I shrugged I was quiet to be safe as I felt I was prey.

Because I was being abused I would cry at home at night praying for people to leave me alone I turned to video games and skipped school days. Finally HS was over and then yeah those awful mistakes with men because I had no real friends to lean on I was vulnerable and lonely.


But you are badass you said you're in UK? Man I really admire your strength I think you should keep going something great may happen for you you're strong