FireFox
Enlightened
- Apr 8, 2020
- 1,749
I really did try my best but all the events of this year has finally shown me life is not worth living. Since 1st January everything has been going wrong in my life. All the challenges i have faced this year I never gave up but now I feel so defeated because this has been the worst year of my life. 2023 has been nothing but 1 year of everything going wrong even simple things are going wrong too. This has been a yesr of bad luck so much bad luck I have had none of it is even funny. All I wanted was to be happy, make a positive contribution to society, live and enjoy life it was never meant to be. I can't find my place in this world because I don't belong here. Some of us are not made for living I am one of those people now I realise it now. Only in death I can find real peace and relief from all the torment of my suicidal thoughts and anoxeria.
At 26 years old I have nothing to show for my life. I am the loser who fired from my first full time job, constantly unsuccessful with men, cant cope anymore with the heartbreak from a man I deeply loved, living with my mother, anoxeria now out of control, arsehole freeloading parasite relatives who never stop with the selfishness and nothing going right in my life whereas everyone else around me is doing so much better. All the time I feel like a stupid kid because I know nothing about life and can't navatigate the world,. Its overwhelming knowing I am a massive failure and have no future even though I start a masters degree programme next year at one of the UK's top universities. I was supposed to start this year but last minute money issues ruined that for me. Not one bit of happiness I can't have this year.
Life is not for me. It finally makes sense now why I never used to fit in anywhere, why men always reject me and treat me awfully including my own father and why all these choatic events of this year happened to me. I am sick of all this. The world wants me to kill myself. I really did try my best to overcome all the challenges of this world and win but I can't fight anymore.
At 26 years old I have nothing to show for my life. I am the loser who fired from my first full time job, constantly unsuccessful with men, cant cope anymore with the heartbreak from a man I deeply loved, living with my mother, anoxeria now out of control, arsehole freeloading parasite relatives who never stop with the selfishness and nothing going right in my life whereas everyone else around me is doing so much better. All the time I feel like a stupid kid because I know nothing about life and can't navatigate the world,. Its overwhelming knowing I am a massive failure and have no future even though I start a masters degree programme next year at one of the UK's top universities. I was supposed to start this year but last minute money issues ruined that for me. Not one bit of happiness I can't have this year.
Life is not for me. It finally makes sense now why I never used to fit in anywhere, why men always reject me and treat me awfully including my own father and why all these choatic events of this year happened to me. I am sick of all this. The world wants me to kill myself. I really did try my best to overcome all the challenges of this world and win but I can't fight anymore.
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