Venting I think that to both live and to die requires something I have always lacked

[lost_one]

Determination. Resolve. Will. Conviction.

I think to go over the survival instinct requires you to have this will power, this determination to just keep going regardless of anything else.

And to live is the same, it's to keep going no matter the discomfort. (I wish I was better at expressing myself)

Both require will, determination. Resolve or conviction cause neither are.going to be easy, both require you to stick to the path you choose no matter what happens.

And I never had that. Zero. I always just did what I was told, I don't think I have an ounce of determination in my body.

Which is why I stay here in limbo.

 

[chek]

I relate to the limbo so seriously. Wow. No resolve no gumption to make living or dying work

 

[MyShadow]

Determination. Resolve. Will. Conviction.

I think to go over the survival instinct requires you to have this will power, this determination to just keep going regardless of anything else.

And to live is the same, it's to keep going no matter the discomfort. (I wish I was better at expressing myself)

Both require will, determination. Resolve or conviction cause neither are.going to be easy, both require you to stick to the path you choose no matter what happens.

And I never had that. Zero. I always just did what I was told, I don't think I have an ounce of determination in my body.

Which is why I stay here in limbo.

Things are difficult now. Here in the US, everything is being torn apart and the future for common people doesn't look good. So, I can empathize with your feelings about being in limbo.

Personally, my depression and anxiety have kept me doing the bare minimum, mostly because I have developed a fear of social situations. Instead of figuring out solutions for my living and financial situations, I find myself on this forum, reading and writing posts about suicide. But instead of following through with gathering what I need to CTB, I focus on the posts about the failed attempts.

This has been going on and on for a fucking month.

The reality is, because I too am in limbo, I will be at the mercy of consequences of decisions made by others. If I don't improve my situation at work, I will lose the clients I have and not get new ones. This will inevitably limit my finances and I will lose my little rental room that I can barely afford. This will lead to inevitable homelessness and I will be at the mercy of the system and the weather, etc.

Yet my mental state is so bad, I can't even take a step forward. This is how so many people end up on the street. It's crazy to think about.

 

[MiMif]

Determination. Resolve. Will. Conviction.

I think to go over the survival instinct requires you to have this will power, this determination to just keep going regardless of anything else.

And to live is the same, it's to keep going no matter the discomfort. (I wish I was better at expressing myself)

Both require will, determination. Resolve or conviction cause neither are.going to be easy, both require you to stick to the path you choose no matter what happens.

And I never had that. Zero. I always just did what I was told, I don't think I have an ounce of determination in my body.

Which is why I stay here in limbo.

I took pills a few months ago and it was honestly the easiest thing In the world and they took a few hours to activate. If you feel you lack the strength to over come ur survival instinct that root would probably work. You could even die in your sleep after taking them of you take a strong enough pills