I'm not sure if I'm being paranoid but last week she agreed to see me between Monday-Thursday. Just one of those days. And everyday I would text her and she would always be busy or something would come up. I mean she has alot of friends unlike me but that really sucked. Now I'm not sure if this was wrong on my part but I kept asking her if she was free all week and she kept telling me she was busy. And I wanna talk to her about this and I even told her I wanted to talk to her about something but I want to do it in person and she is never free. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong but I think I'm going to stop trying. There is no point. There is also a group chat with all our friends and I was thinking of leaving that too because I'm just tired. All of this makes me want to ctb more. I still care about her tho, I just think she doesn't care about me. Let me know your thoughts please, or any advice!
Looking
Looking for the answer.
- Jan 16, 2023
- 246
Is this usual behavior? To promise things such as hanging out, and not follow through? Or was this just a "last week" issue?
I don't recommend leaving the group chat, unless you don't like anyone there or someone in there is disturbing you. I would mute it instead, become inactive, hide the chat, whatever. I think the impulse of leaving while you're feeling a bit emotional about this specific friend won't do you any good long term, and might give them the idea you don't like them. (If you do like them.) I would leave the group chat if after a week or so you haven't felt any better and still feel the desire to leave.
I don't recommend leaving the group chat, unless you don't like anyone there or someone in there is disturbing you. I would mute it instead, become inactive, hide the chat, whatever. I think the impulse of leaving while you're feeling a bit emotional about this specific friend won't do you any good long term, and might give them the idea you don't like them. (If you do like them.) I would leave the group chat if after a week or so you haven't felt any better and still feel the desire to leave.
It's been a thing for quite a while. But my friend has been less and less active with me. Like we used to hang out a couple times a week, then once and week, then once every 2 weeks and now I don't even know anymore. I've really always been the one trying since she has other friends. And I've only been her friend for like 6 months be we get along great when we are with eachother.
Also I've been thinking about leaving the group chat for quite a while since I'm even really there if that makes sense. Like if I left it wouldn't really matter and no one would really notice but I think I'll just turn off the notifications. Thank you for the advice :)
Looking
Looking for the answer.
- Jan 16, 2023
- 246
I get that, then. :( Not very cool of them to suggest and/or promise to spend time with you and not follow through. I think sometimes people have a hard time saying no to others, that they'd rather lead someone on or make excuses of why something can't happen instead of being honest. (I fall victim to this a lot, as I struggle to say no as well.) It's possible that she's nervous about the thing you want to talk about and is trying to push it off as much as she can/
Is it possible that you guys could do something online, when physically hanging out isn't an option? Such as phone/voice calling, playing games together, something like that? Or is your friendship with this person not like that?
If you've been feeling that way for a while, then I trust your judgement to make the best call. I always feel like when I leave group chats, it causes some drama or disagreements amongst me and my friends, even if the outcome has always been the same (e.g me not saying anything.) So I always try to advise against it if there's an alternative method, such as muting. If you don't feel like it'd cause any problems, and you really want to, then I say go for it - But oh, if only it was that easy sometimes.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 38,920
After all, you just cannot trust and rely on people in this cruel world, people can certainly be very disappointing and unfortunately this is just the reality. Most people just care about what directly affects themselves and really don't care about others.
I have had similar experiences, I decided to stop being the instigator, I now see no one who I'd have called a friend. I'm still in group chats but I've muted them and dont even read them. My advice is leave them to it, I've made good friends at jobs who keep more in touch than them
