Help I think i'm hearing things / I have a mental breakdown

[Dr.Sleep (Im tired)]

Sometimes, i'll sit in lecture and hear someone call my name from behind me. ill turn around, but no one is looking at me like they said my name. same thing when im walking to class, ill hear my name, and no one.

I'm a STEM man, so i always assume that i have a grounded barring on life. it's weird to think i may have something wrong with me. It's embarrassing to be honest. the whole ordeal makes me want to ball up and cry. It makes me feel weak, when for a lot of people, im the only thing they can count on.

i feel guilty that i hide this side of me from my friends and family. but it is important that I maintain my strong public figure. As for me hearing things, i just feel guilty that i have that issue.

 

[guayabas]

how long has this been going on? is it a more recent thing? is there any pattern to when it happens more? Just going off your screen name and the fact that you're in school, sleep deprivation can cause things like this. It happens to me occasionally. either way, I know it's stressful and there's a lot of stigma around it, but being mentally ill doesn't say anything about your worth or who you are as a person. I hope you're able to get some sleep and some medical help if that's the route you want/need

 

[Dr.Sleep (Im tired)]

how long has this been going on? is it a more recent thing? is there any pattern to when it happens more? Just going off your screen name and the fact that you're in school, sleep deprivation can cause things like this. It happens to me occasionally. either way, I know it's stressful and there's a lot of stigma around it, but being mentally ill doesn't say anything about your worth or who you are as a person. I hope you're able to get some sleep and some medical help if that's the route you want/need

yeah, its started occoring very recently. i guess i haven't been sleeping too well, i would like to maintain my current gpa.

i don't know, i don't like to be labeled as ill, it denotes that there is something wrong with me. Being ill means that i am a danger to my self and others. i just... i don't know

 

[guayabas]

I get that and I respect that, I can use a different term if you prefer.

I don't think of it as something being wrong with someone though. Mental illness is extremely cultural, so what's considered "normal" in one culture can be considered mentally ill in another. It's all very subjective. I also come from a different philosophy about a lot of that stuff. For example, I'm disabled, physically and mentally. A lot of ppl say things like the term disabled is dehumanizing or whatever. But I think of it more as, in a different culture or a different society, I wouldn't be disabled. I could have had health insurance when I was young to prevent my health problems. I could have had community support that could have prevented or helped me heal from ptsd or depression. I could have had jobs that accommodated me so I could take time off whenever my body needed it instead of forcing myself to work until my back went out, etc. But living in a society that didn't allow or provide the things I needed to be healthy disabled me.

So to use your experience as an example, a school system that forces the average person to skip self care like sleeping in order to succeed, can be disabling. Sleep is a normal need that everyone has and most ppl have bad reactions to skipping it. It's like a plant. If it doesn't get water and light, it might still have a small chance of surviving but it's likely to have some problems, and that says nothing about the plant and everything about the environment

 

[Dr.Sleep (Im tired)]

I get that and I respect that, I can use a different term if you prefer.

Hi yes, sorry i kinda was spiraling last night

i don't think i have had a restful night of sleep in a while, that and well i volunteer a lot of my time away to projects and organizations. I can't sleep unless everything is perfect (sorry for being vague). But being in a heightened stressful environment makes me feel awake, which is why i love working on projects with arbitrary deadlines.

 

[mellie5]

Hello -

what you described often happens as a symptom of stress and is a normal reaction. You are not being crazy or illogical :-)

When you have time have a chat with a specialist (psychiatrist) and he/she can easily point you in the right direction and see if you have symptoms of something more serious (hope not) or just reassure you or give you something to help sleep. If you search for "sleep hygiene" you should find some ideas to help you sleep better.

 

[Dr.Sleep (Im tired)]

Hello -

what you described often happens as a symptom of stress and is a normal reaction. You are not being crazy or illogical :-)

When you have time have a chat with a specialist (psychiatrist) and he/she can easily point you in the right direction and see if you have symptoms of something more serious (hope not) or just reassure you or give you something to help sleep. If you search for "sleep hygiene" you should find some ideas to help you sleep better.

i appreciate the kind and reassuring words broski
thank you for the advice

 

[guayabas]

yeah honestly, I think what happens (and I'm no scientist lol) is when you don't get enough sleep, your dreams start sneaking in while you're awake for a second. sleep is really hard though. I'm sure you've probably gotten lots of advice from doctors or whoever about sleep. but if not and/or you wanna know anything that's helped me, lmk. I just need to know what you've tried already. take care <3

 

[Dr.Sleep (Im tired)]

i didn't talk to my Dr. about this yet

yeah honestly, I think what happens (and I'm no scientist lol) is when you don't get enough sleep, your dreams start sneaking in while you're awake for a second. sleep is really hard though. I'm sure you've probably gotten lots of advice from doctors or whoever about sleep. but if not and/or you wanna know anything that's helped me, lmk. I just need to know what you've tried already. take care <3

yeah, any suggestion will help, i take sleep aid when it gets really bad, but i don't know

 

[guayabas]

I use a lot of things, eye mask, a white noise machine (there's apps too or a loud fan will do), and I have some cheap wired ear buds that I cut just the tail off so they're still attached to each other and don't get lost as easily. If I sleep on my side I just keep it in one ear. It's the kinda ear buds that have the little squishy insert. regular ear plugs don't work for me, they always fall out or get loose. Recently I got some blackout curtains too. I just clothes pin them to my curtain rods at night and take them off during the day.

I use melatonin 5mg, it usually kicks in within an hour or so for me. When I get desperate I'll take some benadryl but it's not healthy to take that everyday (long term it can increase chances of alzheimers). also if you use screens late at night, use the night time filter. Most phones have them installed already, you can set them to turn on at a certain time everyday. If you use a laptop or computer, I use f.lux

after I take the melatonin i get ready for bed and find a boring or relaxing game that makes me sleepy. lately it's solitaire or word search games for me. personally, I try to stay awake as long as possible until I'm falling asleep with the game in my hand. then i turn it off and fall asleep.

when I was still able bodied I used to do sleepy time yoga before bed and it helped me. The breathing is the most important part, so if you try this, look up a video how to do the breathing right.

I hope you're able to get some better rest soon <3

edit: I just remembered something else I do that I forgot bc I've been doing it for so long. I don't use any overhead or LED lighting in my bedroom. I have incandescent "warm" string lights in my bedroom that I have on a dimmer switch and I slowly decrease the brightness as it gets closer to bedtime

 

[Dr.Sleep (Im tired)]

I use melatonin 5mg, it usually kicks in within an hour or so for me. When I get desperate I'll take some benadryl but it's not healthy to take that everyday (long term it can increase chances of alzheimers). also if you use screens late at night, use the night time filter. Most phones have them installed already, you can set them to turn on at a certain time everyday. If you use a laptop or computer, I use f.lux

thank you for the suggestions! ill try to do more sleep prep tonight. ill let you know how it goes

also, i guess i should add that this is all a very recent thing. My peers keep commenting on how dark the circles are under my eyes. (They are dark). I never had a problem with it until this year, i guess i have never slept restfully.