My gosh! Has it been 3 months already?!?!? I am aghast at how much my life has changed in the last 90 or so days. I still struggle with the "what if" when my pain levels are high -- like right now. But my son texts me every morning to tell me he loves me. How can I NOT be here for that??
I have also made friends with a couple of grade school kids who live next door. Their family is going through a rough time -- dad, a convicted felon who just got released after more than 10 years in, is not my favorite person but mom, and the kids and their big brother (teenager) are my buddies now. The kids come over every day to visit and play with the animals -- and me!
We are studying investing so they can be rich when they are old like me, and learning how to write cursive because "it is pretty".
I'm also doing some sewing just for the two youngsters so they can feel REALLY special. Big brother hinted that he doesn't have a bathrobe and his favorite color is pink and orange and black. I said that is more than one color, young man. He just grinned and said I'm 14 what do you want from me?? Lol So, I am drafting a pattern for a custom bathrobe in 3 colors -- yes! Pink and orange and black!
I have completely messed up catching the bus, it seems. I have youngsters in my life that will CLEARLY outlive me and how in the world do you explain someone not being happy here when they know they are your whole life.
My son went with me to take the kids shopping for some "things" -- shoes, shirts, jackets for winter, socks, that kind of stuff -- so the kids have met him -- and the youngest girl was sitting in my lap watching Bluey the other day and said So if that guy is your kid and he is old like my daddy that means me and my brothers are your only little kids, huh?? I said Hmmmm I guess so, why?? And she said Well, when I get old and you die I am just gonna be really REALLY sad, that's all. I was aghast!! When did 6 year old little girls get SO introspective?? I told her I wasn't planning on dying for a long, long time so she didn't need to worry about that. She just sighed and said okay but being a grown up is REALLY hard work so you be sure and get your sleep. Uhmmmmm, out of the mouths of babes!!
All I could do was say Ok, I will and then we went back to watching cartoons and giggling at how goofy Bluey can be. I dunno, guys. Kids have ALWAYS fascinated me. And I could NEVER break a child's heart. These kids give me hope. And while I am usually completely wiped out when they go home, I miss them when they don't come over. I need them WAY more than they need me.
