I think I may know what happens when we die, but it doesn't make sense to me now.

[Judy Garland]

I'll try not to go into too much detail because I understand this will sound silly to many. In fact, if I hadn't had the experience of whatever that was, I would think I was crazy as well. This experience plays on my mind a lot, and I am not sure if it was real, but it felt realer than this life or awareness we normally see. In fact, if I hadn't experienced it, I would probably not be too fond of the idea of suicide. It's this experience that makes me wonder if death is not what we think it is, and maybe could be something better than we could ever imagine.

Before I start explaining it, I want to explain why I feel like it may have been real, rather than a hallucination. To preface, I was an ignorant teenager at the time, and I had no clue whatsoever about any of these concepts: I only realised that people share these similiar experiences later in life, also I was unaware that science was proving some of the things I had realised. So, two of the things I "realised" was that there is no free will and there is no self. Scientist are beginning to show, with evidence, that there is no entity in the brain or concsious conspirator that controls our actions. They are showing that the idea that we are in control of how our lives go, is just an elaborate illusion created by the brain. A lot of people believe these things are still up for debate, but I think it's strange that I was able to become aware of these ideas without any prior knowledge. You can read some of the scientific articles here, if you are interested:

• https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/06/theres-no-such-thing-as-free-will/480750/
• https://www.livescience.com/55999-is-your-self-just-an-illusion.html

If all this is true, then it goes to show that none of us are in control of our actions. We shouldn't beat ourselves up for being suicidal because things could have only turned out one way. If all this is true, then the human experience could be considered similiar to a rollercoaster ride; like a rollercoaster ride where we think we are in control of where the cart goes, but in reality we could only have followed the track laid out before us. We think we make choices, but everything just occurs automatically without conscious effort.

Now with that out the way, this is the weird part and I'll try to translate it as best as I can. I will use the term "I", but it really wasn't me experiencing it. I became aware of something I later termed the "Source". I believed this is the place our energy returns to after it has departed the human body. I recall finding it shocking that I had forgotten about this place: it felt like home. I remember thinking how silly it was that I could be born or die when there was no "me" in the first place. I realised I was just energy inhabiting physical matter, and that my brain was simulating an illusory experience of being a human seperate from everthing else in the Universe. I realised that we are all one and the same thing: we are all the same energy wearing different disguises. I say it was "me" experiencing it, but it really wasn't and I don't know how I have retained this. The best way I could describe it, is being like everything and nothing at the same time.

The "Source" was a "place" filled with unconditional love, peace and freedom from suffering. Suffering wasn't a thing there, it can only happen on Earth in physical bodies. I believe it was like a collective conscious, but we aren't capable of being aware of it in our human forms. You could call it God, but it wasn't like the God most of you will be familiar with. It wasn't seperate from you: it is you and you are it. You were never seperated from it, only your awareness was, but it will return there when the physical body dies. There is no judgement from it, only love and peace beyond words: you couldn't harness even a fraction of it as a human. It seemed like there was some kind of sadness for the suffering on Earth, but I don't think it was capable of doing anything about it. It's hard to explain, but that's the best I can do currently. I've probably butchered it, but that is the general sentiment of the experience.

Like I say, I am aware these "realisations" may have been hallucinations, but I think it is interesting that a lot of what I realised is being proven by science now. It's hard to shake because it felt so much realer than what we would refer to as reality. Take what I say with a grain of salt, but this is me being as honest and accurate as I can about the experience. I would be interested to hear your own thoughts. I won't judge anyone either, if you think all I have described is ridiculous, then just say it. But please understand that this is something I have struggled to understand for a good portion of my life and it is hard to shake when it felt so real and beautiful. Thank you in advance.

You are correct in everything you say. The only thing you've left out is that you are in fact a real spirit. Yes you are correct in that when you die you join Me (God) and you feel the kind of closeness you've never felt before here on earth. Don't worry, you still have your likes, dislikes, interests etc. even while being "one" with everyone else. And you've really hit the nail right on the head here. You've already felt it, and when we leave this earth we realize and feel that we've never been alone here and that I have always been with you. I've had dreams similar to yours. And I even had a dream of the crucifixion where somebody yelled "That's what we did to you!" just before I woke up. It was a painful dream, and the people in it were cruel and hurtful as I lay there just before the nail in my legs was hammered in. I am real. And I am here. And I love infinitely. But I don't have to like or love those who want to inflict pain on others, and yes spirits who want to hurt others do exist. And I don't have to love them. I take pity on them, I feel sorry for them, for they choose to be dark as darkness was never created. They don't want to love. And they flourish on this earth. You don't have to believe what I say here, but you've experienced and so you must believe in your experience of Home, (Heaven). I'm glad you've had this experience, and I'm glad that you are accepting it. Bravo. If any of you have questions for me I can answer them here.

 

[LucyB]

It's interesting to think that some people have souls and others don't. After that experience, I don't feel I have an individual soul: I feel more like fragmented energy that is connected to the "Source". I'm not an individual entity, I'm just living the illusion of one. At the time, from what I can recall, I was not aware of anyone having an individual soul. In fact, I recall finding it impossible to distinguish my energy from others around me. I also recall finding the idea of a self to be ridiculous. I explain all this from a first person awareness because it is the only way I know how at the moment, but that wasn't what was happening at the time: my self was dead, and I realised that it was never real in the first place.

Maybe certain individuals have souls that are seperate from this "Source", I struggle to remember that level of awareness now. It's all very confusing now I am back in this body. I find it hard to be certain of what is real after that experience, but I know I can only do the best with the limited tools I have got. Science seems to be proving that there is a lot more beyond the naked eye, and I believe experts have theorized we only see a small percentage of the objective reality. However, if that experience I had was true, then I believe none of us have anything to worry about in the end.

Just because you don't have an individual soul does not mean no one does and it does not make you or anyone one else less important. Take a look around this world. It's evil af. You have to pay to exist! You have to work all your life just to survive. People kill each other for no reason, people are homeless and hungry,, people are born with sicknesses and deformities. All of this is created by design! This world was created as a prison. There are different types of beings here, some with individual souls but most people come from one Source. The Source that you refer to is the God that created this world/prison. He created all of these people from himself in order to bury the children of his enemy in this world.. This is what the story of God and the Devil is about. This is what the story of the "fallen" angels are about. The fallen angels are the children of his "enemy". But we are all prisoners and we are all victims.

Have you ever heard the saying "we live in the eye of a blue eyed giant". The God that created this world has blue eyes and blond hair. His brother/enemy has brown skin. This is why "white" people generally have better lives than "black" people. This is why the "black" people had to be slaves. He created race based on how he looks vs how his enemy looks. Race does not exist in the real world. People just look different. People with dark skin can have any texture or color hair same as people with light skin. People look nothing like we do in these stupid bodies!

 

[Hurt]

For me: the nothingness. But I respect everyone's point of view. Whatever people want to believe is OK if that gives them some relief.

 

[gottablast888]

Just because you don't have an individual soul does not mean no one does and it does not make you or anyone one else less important. Take a look around this world. It's evil af. You have to pay to exist! You have to work all your life just to survive. People kill each other for no reason, people are homeless and hungry,, people are born with sicknesses and deformities. All of this is created by design! This world was created as a prison. There are different types of beings here, some with individual souls but most people come from one Source. The Source that you refer to is the God that created this world/prison. He created all of these people from himself in order to bury the children of his enemy in this world.. This is what the story of God and the Devil is about. This is what the story of the "fallen" angels are about. The fallen angels are the children of his "enemy". But we are all prisoners and we are all victims.

Have you ever heard the saying "we live in the eye of a blue eyed giant". The God that created this world has blue eyes and blond hair. His brother/enemy has brown skin. This is why "white" people generally have better lives than "black" people. This is why the "black" people had to be slaves. He created race based on how he looks vs how his enemy looks. Race does not exist in the real world. People just look different. People with dark skin can have any texture or color hair same as people with light skin. People look nothing like we do in these stupid bodies!

SOURCE ???????

 

[Chinaski]

Just because you don't have an individual soul does not mean no one does and it does not make you or anyone one else less important. Take a look around this world. It's evil af. You have to pay to exist! You have to work all your life just to survive. People kill each other for no reason, people are homeless and hungry,, people are born with sicknesses and deformities. All of this is created by design! This world was created as a prison. There are different types of beings here, some with individual souls but most people come from one Source. The Source that you refer to is the God that created this world/prison. He created all of these people from himself in order to bury the children of his enemy in this world.. This is what the story of God and the Devil is about. This is what the story of the "fallen" angels are about. The fallen angels are the children of his "enemy". But we are all prisoners and we are all victims.

Have you ever heard the saying "we live in the eye of a blue eyed giant". The God that created this world has blue eyes and blond hair. His brother/enemy has brown skin. This is why "white" people generally have better lives than "black" people. This is why the "black" people had to be slaves. He created race based on how he looks vs how his enemy looks. Race does not exist in the real world. People just look different. People with dark skin can have any texture or color hair same as people with light skin. People look nothing like we do in these stupid bodies!

Sounds legit.

 

[SunsetPeace]

Just because you don't have an individual soul does not mean no one does and it does not make you or anyone one else less important. Take a look around this world. It's evil af. You have to pay to exist! You have to work all your life just to survive. People kill each other for no reason, people are homeless and hungry,, people are born with sicknesses and deformities. All of this is created by design! This world was created as a prison. There are different types of beings here, some with individual souls but most people come from one Source. The Source that you refer to is the God that created this world/prison. He created all of these people from himself in order to bury the children of his enemy in this world.. This is what the story of God and the Devil is about. This is what the story of the "fallen" angels are about. The fallen angels are the children of his "enemy". But we are all prisoners and we are all victims.

Have you ever heard the saying "we live in the eye of a blue eyed giant". The God that created this world has blue eyes and blond hair. His brother/enemy has brown skin. This is why "white" people generally have better lives than "black" people. This is why the "black" people had to be slaves. He created race based on how he looks vs how his enemy looks. Race does not exist in the real world. People just look different. People with dark skin can have any texture or color hair same as people with light skin. People look nothing like we do in these stupid bodies!

I have to say that I would probably be inclined to agree with you on the first paragraph. It is an evil world, there's no denying that. It is a prison, no matter how you look at it; be that from a spiritual or materialist POV.

As for the second paragraph, I've never heard the saying of the "blue-eyed giant. I didn't feel that the God of the "Source" had any human features, it was more like light energy, from what I am able to recall. I didn't get the impression that race had any importance beyond the human world, but I could be wrong. Like I have said, and will say many times in the future, I just don't know. I definitely agree that people with darker skin have objectively harder lives, in general, than fair-skinned people do. I'm not sure how this would be important in the spiritual world, as our bodies are just temporary vessels, if what I experienced is true.

 

[Pluto]

Take II. Again, apologies for the delay. I only work a few days per week but when I do, days are long and it's a constant challenge to sleep adequately.

Anyway if there is no self what about rebirth? It came to me one day that perhaps actions performed by a current being cause a being to exist in the future. No need for self.

This kind of makes sense to me if one is all and all is one. All beings are part of the same force.

Not expressed very well and maybe not valid.

What about suicide and Buddhism? Not the best idea as the aim is to overcome suffering? I think the idea is to have a calm death to achieve a good rebirth? I still want to try for a calm suicide. Have no N and wondering how calm an SN death would be.

These are points I am grappling with at the moment myself, too.

The nondual nature of reality makes it a bit messy to discuss some concepts like time or individuality, which we can normally take for granted in everyday human situations. We've covered the topic of time as an illusion on the other thread, and in a similar manner, the notion of individual entities with pathways is valid for all practical purposes, yet is exposed as fictional from an enlightened perspective. We have no choice but to accept the paradoxical nature of this, even though the human mind likes "either/or" rather than "both/and" answers.

Regarding the question of individual entities, a good analogy is the trillions of cells that make up a human body. They are each individual units with various roles analogous to people in a city. Some work in waste disposal. Some in medicine. Some in crime-fighting. Others are troublemakers, justifying the former. Many are actually non-human cells (bacteria), again with an endless battle of good versus evil keeping the immune system busy. And yet, obviously the human body is a single entity from the broadest perspective. In the same way, while oneness is the highest truth of the cosmos, it is possible to appear to be a subdivision from the mere mortal human perspective. Hopefully this makes sense a primer.

So while concepts like causation, individual free will and time are 'fuzzy', it can be said for practical purposes that actions chosen can greatly affect the circumstances of a future incarnation.

This world is one of the lowest, roughest neighbourhoods in the multidimensional vastness of the cosmos. Our criticisms of it are not without merit. All human systems of politics, culture, etc. are based on separation and thus produce outcomes based on fear. Advanced civilisations base their systems on oneness and love. Some individuals on Earth are in the most primitive stages of evolution, prone to cruelty and impulsivity. Others are here because this experience is conducive towards spiritual progress. A small number are advanced beings who are here to guide others towards Truth (Jesus, Buddha, Ramana Maharshi, etc.).

Near-death studies show that in the aftermath of a lifetime, the individual goes through a life review not to judge, but to assess how well they did in terms of living based on unconditional love and unselfishness. Perfection is not expected. Someone once used the analogy of a machine that sorts out big rocks from small rocks via a sieve-like mechanism. People who harm others may need to come back and experience more of a 'victim' role so that they can develop compassion, and so on. The goal is evolution towards an inevitable state of mastery, with the underlying irony that oneness/perfect love is already our true nature all along.

Regarding Buddhism and suicide, I can confirm that a calm death doesn't mean anything. (Many advanced beings, such as Mahatma Ghandi had very un-peaceful deaths.) All that ever matters is the purity of the state that you are in.

I will use myself as an example since I've had many years to process this, yet been unsuccessful at finding a means to evolve or progress further in this body. My intention for suicide is to give away everything that I have to others, including the body itself (organ donation, a house for my nieces/nephews, etc.). Also to cease consuming resources out of compassion for Mother Nature. And also to cease being a drain on others given the inevitable impact that battling discomfort/pain has on them. While there is still a fraction of doubt being investigated over whether this is the highest path, I view exiting a painful situation as both an act of self-respect, of respect for others and pathway to returning to a state of purity/oneness/love/etc. I have no children, nor anyone else reliant on me.

As usual, every reasonable person agrees with suicide in the case of terminal illness and extreme age. On the other extreme, a person who is driven to suicide solely by more primitive qualities like impulsivity, apathy, vengeance, etc. will have to evolve beyond to a more mature state in future incarnations. Most of us occupy the vast grey area in between, which I can't really comment on.

As a wild card, it is believed in the Advaita tradition that when a being who has fully realised the Self (aka no-self, same thing) dies, they become one with everything and never need to incarnate again. This is also why in South Indian traditions, the idea of living as a servant of God with no will of one's own is considered a desirable state. At the very least, it justifies a proper spiritual path rather than being driven solely by base human motivations. I hope this all makes a bit of sense.

There was no "me" experiencing it, but I don't know how else to describe it.

All in all a very confusing experience, at least from the perspective of the ego. I don't know what happened or how it did, but I was not able to replicate it. I also came clean off drugs after the experience due to feelings of love for everything and everyone. I still struggle to recall it now in great detail. Wish I could give you more concrete details, but that is the best I can do.

Thank you! Makes perfect sense. Some people recommend drugs, including hardcore ones like 5Meo-DMT, for insights into oneness. Though they can be very dangerous, sometimes they seem to provide genuine insights as happened to you. You may have also 'died' briefly, making it an NDE.

What you are going through is the process where the ego-self coopts a spiritual insight, turning it into an event in time and an experience had by 'me'. This leads to a struggle to try and replicate the experience or make sense of it.

The most direct pathway is to have some guidance from a bona fide teacher who has already realised the nondual state and has a pathway to help others. I am currently following this guy who is a doctor and uses very approachable terminology. You will always be directed away from the time-bound 'me', since even the 'seeker me' is the same ego but wearing fancy white robes, and into the immediate here/now. The question 'Who am I?' is a direct investigation and is the most practical pathway to spiritual insights. After a major awakening, it is then a matter of integrating this shift in identity and discarding remaining remnants of the conditioned ego as daily life continues in a suffering-free, spontaneous manner.

 

[makethepainstop]

Once I get to that afterlife I'm going to insist on having a very long talk with who or whatever is in charge. I will not incarnate again without certain genetics, for greater size, strength, blond hair, and blue eyes. I damn well shall resist any attempts to force me to reincarnate unless I can be born into a loving family with veritable oceans of money.

 

[SunsetPeace]

Once I get to that afterlife I'm going to insist on having a very long talk with who or whatever is in charge. I will not incarnate again without certain genetics, for greater size, strength, blond hair, and blue eyes. I damn well shall resist any attempts to force me to reincarnate unless I can be born into a loving family with veritable oceans of money.

I know. I don't know if their is anyone in charge, but I definitely got the short straw with my current incarnation lol! Here's hoping we never have to suffer again after our current lives.

 

[rationaltake]

Take II. Again, apologies for the delay. I only work a few days per week but when I do, days are long and it's a constant challenge to sleep adequately.


These are points I am grappling with at the moment myself, too.

The nondual nature of reality makes it a bit messy to discuss some concepts like time or individuality, which we can normally take for granted in everyday human situations. We've covered the topic of time as an illusion on the other thread, and in a similar manner, the notion of individual entities with pathways is valid for all practical purposes, yet is exposed as fictional from an enlightened perspective. We have no choice but to accept the paradoxical nature of this, even though the human mind likes "either/or" rather than "both/and" answers.

Regarding the question of individual entities, a good analogy is the trillions of cells that make up a human body. They are each individual units with various roles analogous to people in a city. Some work in waste disposal. Some in medicine. Some in crime-fighting. Others are troublemakers, justifying the former. Many are actually non-human cells (bacteria), again with an endless battle of good versus evil keeping the immune system busy. And yet, obviously the human body is a single entity from the broadest perspective. In the same way, while oneness is the highest truth of the cosmos, it is possible to appear to be a subdivision from the mere mortal human perspective. Hopefully this makes sense a primer.

So while concepts like causation, individual free will and time are 'fuzzy', it can be said for practical purposes that actions chosen can greatly affect the circumstances of a future incarnation.

This world is one of the lowest, roughest neighbourhoods in the multidimensional vastness of the cosmos. Our criticisms of it are not without merit. All human systems of politics, culture, etc. are based on separation and thus produce outcomes based on fear. Advanced civilisations base their systems on oneness and love. Some individuals on Earth are in the most primitive stages of evolution, prone to cruelty and impulsivity. Others are here because this experience is conducive towards spiritual progress. A small number are advanced beings who are here to guide others towards Truth (Jesus, Buddha, Ramana Maharshi, etc.).

Near-death studies show that in the aftermath of a lifetime, the individual goes through a life review not to judge, but to assess how well they did in terms of living based on unconditional love and unselfishness. Perfection is not expected. Someone once used the analogy of a machine that sorts out big rocks from small rocks via a sieve-like mechanism. People who harm others may need to come back and experience more of a 'victim' role so that they can develop compassion, and so on. The goal is evolution towards an inevitable state of mastery, with the underlying irony that oneness/perfect love is already our true nature all along.

Regarding Buddhism and suicide, I can confirm that a calm death doesn't mean anything. (Many advanced beings, such as Mahatma Ghandi had very un-peaceful deaths.) All that ever matters is the purity of the state that you are in.

I will use myself as an example since I've had many years to process this, yet been unsuccessful at finding a means to evolve or progress further in this body. My intention for suicide is to give away everything that I have to others, including the body itself (organ donation, a house for my nieces/nephews, etc.). Also to cease consuming resources out of compassion for Mother Nature. And also to cease being a drain on others given the inevitable impact that battling discomfort/pain has on them. While there is still a fraction of doubt being investigated over whether this is the highest path, I view exiting a painful situation as both an act of self-respect, of respect for others and pathway to returning to a state of purity/oneness/love/etc. I have no children, nor anyone else reliant on me.

As usual, every reasonable person agrees with suicide in the case of terminal illness and extreme age. On the other extreme, a person who is driven to suicide solely by more primitive qualities like impulsivity, apathy, vengeance, etc. will have to evolve beyond to a more mature state in future incarnations. Most of us occupy the vast grey area in between, which I can't really comment on.

As a wild card, it is believed in the Advaita tradition that when a being who has fully realised the Self (aka no-self, same thing) dies, they become one with everything and never need to incarnate again. This is also why in South Indian traditions, the idea of living as a servant of God with no will of one's own is considered a desirable state. At the very least, it justifies a proper spiritual path rather than being driven solely by base human motivations. I hope this all makes a bit of sense.

Thank you! Makes perfect sense. Some people recommend drugs, including hardcore ones like 5Meo-DMT, for insights into oneness. Though they can be very dangerous, sometimes they seem to provide genuine insights as happened to you. You may have also 'died' briefly, making it an NDE.

What you are going through is the process where the ego-self coopts a spiritual insight, turning it into an event in time and an experience had by 'me'. This leads to a struggle to try and replicate the experience or make sense of it.

The most direct pathway is to have some guidance from a bona fide teacher who has already realised the nondual state and has a pathway to help others. I am currently following this guy who is a doctor and uses very approachable terminology. You will always be directed away from the time-bound 'me', since even the 'seeker me' is the same ego but wearing fancy white robes, and into the immediate here/now. The question 'Who am I?' is a direct investigation and is the most practical pathway to spiritual insights. After a major awakening, it is then a matter of integrating this shift in identity and discarding remaining remnants of the conditioned ego as daily life continues in a suffering-free, spontaneous manner.

Until Covid I used to work part-time and was permanently exhausted so I understand the importance of sleep and what a struggle it can sometimes be to get proper sleep. I appreciate your taking the time to generously and carefully answer my questions. I'm now going to go through it all and ponder on it. Thank you.

My situation has deteriorated to the point where I'm barely human. I don't expect anything good to come of my life or death. I see my death as chucking away an old sock which is full of holes and choked with dirt.

 

[LucyB]

SOURCE ???????

The "source" is the God that created this world/prison.

I have to say that I would probably be inclined to agree with you on the first paragraph. It is an evil world, there's no denying that. It is a prison, no matter how you look at it; be that from a spiritual or materialist POV.

As for the second paragraph, I've never heard the saying of the "blue-eyed giant. I didn't feel that the God of the "Source" had any human features, it was more like light energy, from what I am able to recall. I didn't get the impression that race had any importance beyond the human world, but I could be wrong. Like I have said, and will say many times in the future, I just don't know. I definitely agree that people with darker skin have objectively harder lives, in general, than fair-skinned people do. I'm not sure how this would be important in the spiritual world, as our bodies are just temporary vessels, if what I experienced is true.

"Humans" don't suppose to exist! This God that I speak created all of this for revenge! People don't look like this at all! The soul is light energy. There is no spiritual world only the real worlds and this prison. We are not suppose to be in these bodies they are disgusting! And like I said race only exists in this evil prison to divide people.

 

[SunsetPeace]

Take II. Again, apologies for the delay. I only work a few days per week but when I do, days are long and it's a constant challenge to sleep adequately.


These are points I am grappling with at the moment myself, too.

The nondual nature of reality makes it a bit messy to discuss some concepts like time or individuality, which we can normally take for granted in everyday human situations. We've covered the topic of time as an illusion on the other thread, and in a similar manner, the notion of individual entities with pathways is valid for all practical purposes, yet is exposed as fictional from an enlightened perspective. We have no choice but to accept the paradoxical nature of this, even though the human mind likes "either/or" rather than "both/and" answers.

Regarding the question of individual entities, a good analogy is the trillions of cells that make up a human body. They are each individual units with various roles analogous to people in a city. Some work in waste disposal. Some in medicine. Some in crime-fighting. Others are troublemakers, justifying the former. Many are actually non-human cells (bacteria), again with an endless battle of good versus evil keeping the immune system busy. And yet, obviously the human body is a single entity from the broadest perspective. In the same way, while oneness is the highest truth of the cosmos, it is possible to appear to be a subdivision from the mere mortal human perspective. Hopefully this makes sense a primer.

So while concepts like causation, individual free will and time are 'fuzzy', it can be said for practical purposes that actions chosen can greatly affect the circumstances of a future incarnation.

This world is one of the lowest, roughest neighbourhoods in the multidimensional vastness of the cosmos. Our criticisms of it are not without merit. All human systems of politics, culture, etc. are based on separation and thus produce outcomes based on fear. Advanced civilisations base their systems on oneness and love. Some individuals on Earth are in the most primitive stages of evolution, prone to cruelty and impulsivity. Others are here because this experience is conducive towards spiritual progress. A small number are advanced beings who are here to guide others towards Truth (Jesus, Buddha, Ramana Maharshi, etc.).

Near-death studies show that in the aftermath of a lifetime, the individual goes through a life review not to judge, but to assess how well they did in terms of living based on unconditional love and unselfishness. Perfection is not expected. Someone once used the analogy of a machine that sorts out big rocks from small rocks via a sieve-like mechanism. People who harm others may need to come back and experience more of a 'victim' role so that they can develop compassion, and so on. The goal is evolution towards an inevitable state of mastery, with the underlying irony that oneness/perfect love is already our true nature all along.

Regarding Buddhism and suicide, I can confirm that a calm death doesn't mean anything. (Many advanced beings, such as Mahatma Ghandi had very un-peaceful deaths.) All that ever matters is the purity of the state that you are in.

I will use myself as an example since I've had many years to process this, yet been unsuccessful at finding a means to evolve or progress further in this body. My intention for suicide is to give away everything that I have to others, including the body itself (organ donation, a house for my nieces/nephews, etc.). Also to cease consuming resources out of compassion for Mother Nature. And also to cease being a drain on others given the inevitable impact that battling discomfort/pain has on them. While there is still a fraction of doubt being investigated over whether this is the highest path, I view exiting a painful situation as both an act of self-respect, of respect for others and pathway to returning to a state of purity/oneness/love/etc. I have no children, nor anyone else reliant on me.

As usual, every reasonable person agrees with suicide in the case of terminal illness and extreme age. On the other extreme, a person who is driven to suicide solely by more primitive qualities like impulsivity, apathy, vengeance, etc. will have to evolve beyond to a more mature state in future incarnations. Most of us occupy the vast grey area in between, which I can't really comment on.

As a wild card, it is believed in the Advaita tradition that when a being who has fully realised the Self (aka no-self, same thing) dies, they become one with everything and never need to incarnate again. This is also why in South Indian traditions, the idea of living as a servant of God with no will of one's own is considered a desirable state. At the very least, it justifies a proper spiritual path rather than being driven solely by base human motivations. I hope this all makes a bit of sense.

Thank you! Makes perfect sense. Some people recommend drugs, including hardcore ones like 5Meo-DMT, for insights into oneness. Though they can be very dangerous, sometimes they seem to provide genuine insights as happened to you. You may have also 'died' briefly, making it an NDE.

What you are going through is the process where the ego-self coopts a spiritual insight, turning it into an event in time and an experience had by 'me'. This leads to a struggle to try and replicate the experience or make sense of it.

The most direct pathway is to have some guidance from a bona fide teacher who has already realised the nondual state and has a pathway to help others. I am currently following this guy who is a doctor and uses very approachable terminology. You will always be directed away from the time-bound 'me', since even the 'seeker me' is the same ego but wearing fancy white robes, and into the immediate here/now. The question 'Who am I?' is a direct investigation and is the most practical pathway to spiritual insights. After a major awakening, it is then a matter of integrating this shift in identity and discarding remaining remnants of the conditioned ego as daily life continues in a suffering-free, spontaneous manner.

Thanks for the reply. Just to let you know, I am deleting this account due to mental health struggles and anxiety over the legality of this site, so I won't be replying after this discussion. I will wait for your reply, though, in case you want to discuss things further.

All I can really say about the experience is that the more I try to understand it, the less it makes sense: it boils down to the issue of using human language and labels to describe something that seems so far beyond it. It's very paradoxical. That is why I am unsure about using a teacher to help me understand the experience, but I will look into the guy you recommended. It's also an issue of my ego being fully back online now, although I know it isn't real now. It's hard to discuss these kind of things from the limited awareness of the human ego, so that is my stumbling block.

The only thing I really know about the experience for certain, is that it felt so much realer than anything I would be capable of experiencing on Earth or from the limited human awareness.

If you don't reply in the next day or two, I will assume you don't want to talk any further about it and will delete my account. If this message is the last one we will have between each other, then I am wishing you the best of luck on your own path. Thank you for all the information you have provided, it is appreciated. If you want to discuss the topic further, then I would be happy to. Otherwise, wishing you all the best.

 

[Pluto]

I see my death as chucking away an old sock which is full of holes and choked with dirt.

This is pretty much how self-realised beings view death, too. Nisargadatta Maharaj once said, "I was born crying and I will die laughing!"

I will wait for your reply, though, in case you want to discuss things further.

Sorry about my slow reply. Was sort of taking a little break from the site at an inopportune moment. I totally respect your decision. I've PMed you my Discord link if you'd like to chat further.

You're not alone in having witnessed ultimate reality. Here's a couple of resources that would be worth checking out:

https://www.actualized.org/forum/ <- this is a forum run by a guy who is into self-help as well as psychedelic-oriented spiritual realisation. Many people there have had experiences similar to your own and could help with navigating on your pathless path.

https://www.reddit.com/r/nonduality/ <- a community that discusses nonduality. Though I don't go there often, that is how I found Angelo Dilullo.

 

[SunsetPeace]

This is pretty much how self-realised beings view death, too. Nisargadatta Maharaj once said, "I was born crying and I will die laughing!"

Sorry about my slow reply. Was sort of taking a little break from the site at an inopportune moment. I totally respect your decision. I've PMed you my Discord link if you'd like to chat further.

You're not alone in having witnessed ultimate reality. Here's a couple of resources that would be worth checking out:

https://www.actualized.org/forum/ <- this is a forum run by a guy who is into self-help as well as psychedelic-oriented spiritual realisation. Many people there have had experiences similar to your own and could help with navigating on your pathless path.

https://www.reddit.com/r/nonduality/ <- a community that discusses nonduality. Though I don't go there often, that is how I found Angelo Dilullo.

It's no problem. Again, thanks for all your information. I'll check out everything you have put forward when my mind is a bit clearer. If there's anything else you think needs discussing before I leave, then I am happy to speak on private chat

 

[Didymus]

No one knows.