I think I may know what happens when we die, but it doesn't make sense to me now.

[SunsetPeace]

I'll try not to go into too much detail because I understand this will sound silly to many. In fact, if I hadn't had the experience of whatever that was, I would think I was crazy as well. This experience plays on my mind a lot, and I am not sure if it was real, but it felt realer than this life or awareness we normally see. In fact, if I hadn't experienced it, I would probably not be too fond of the idea of suicide. It's this experience that makes me wonder if death is not what we think it is, and maybe could be something better than we could ever imagine.

Before I start explaining it, I want to explain why I feel like it may have been real, rather than a hallucination. To preface, I was an ignorant teenager at the time, and I had no clue whatsoever about any of these concepts: I only realised that people share these similiar experiences later in life, also I was unaware that science was proving some of the things I had realised. So, two of the things I "realised" was that there is no free will and there is no self. Scientist are beginning to show, with evidence, that there is no entity in the brain or concsious conspirator that controls our actions. They are showing that the idea that we are in control of how our lives go, is just an elaborate illusion created by the brain. A lot of people believe these things are still up for debate, but I think it's strange that I was able to become aware of these ideas without any prior knowledge. You can read some of the scientific articles here, if you are interested:

• https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/06/theres-no-such-thing-as-free-will/480750/
• https://www.livescience.com/55999-is-your-self-just-an-illusion.html

If all this is true, then it goes to show that none of us are in control of our actions. We shouldn't beat ourselves up for being suicidal because things could have only turned out one way. If all this is true, then the human experience could be considered similiar to a rollercoaster ride; like a rollercoaster ride where we think we are in control of where the cart goes, but in reality we could only have followed the track laid out before us. We think we make choices, but everything just occurs automatically without conscious effort.

Now with that out the way, this is the weird part and I'll try to translate it as best as I can. I will use the term "I", but it really wasn't me experiencing it. I became aware of something I later termed the "Source". I believed this is the place our energy returns to after it has departed the human body. I recall finding it shocking that I had forgotten about this place: it felt like home. I remember thinking how silly it was that I could be born or die when there was no "me" in the first place. I realised I was just energy inhabiting physical matter, and that my brain was simulating an illusory experience of being a human seperate from everthing else in the Universe. I realised that we are all one and the same thing: we are all the same energy wearing different disguises. I say it was "me" experiencing it, but it really wasn't and I don't know how I have retained this. The best way I could describe it, is being like everything and nothing at the same time.

The "Source" was a "place" filled with unconditional love, peace and freedom from suffering. Suffering wasn't a thing there, it can only happen on Earth in physical bodies. I believe it was like a collective conscious, but we aren't capable of being aware of it in our human forms. You could call it God, but it wasn't like the God most of you will be familiar with. It wasn't seperate from you: it is you and you are it. You were never seperated from it, only your awareness was, but it will return there when the physical body dies. There is no judgement from it, only love and peace beyond words: you couldn't harness even a fraction of it as a human. It seemed like there was some kind of sadness for the suffering on Earth, but I don't think it was capable of doing anything about it. It's hard to explain, but that's the best I can do currently. I've probably butchered it, but that is the general sentiment of the experience.

Like I say, I am aware these "realisations" may have been hallucinations, but I think it is interesting that a lot of what I realised is being proven by science now. It's hard to shake because it felt so much realer than what we would refer to as reality. Take what I say with a grain of salt, but this is me being as honest and accurate as I can about the experience. I would be interested to hear your own thoughts. I won't judge anyone either, if you think all I have described is ridiculous, then just say it. But please understand that this is something I have struggled to understand for a good portion of my life and it is hard to shake when it felt so real and beautiful. Thank you in advance.

 

[makethepainstop]

On the contrary, you have had an experience similar to my own. I would love to hear more if you ever feel like you want to tell. One of the times I died I went to the most amazing place. It has the strongest light you can imagine. God was There I believe he is that light energy. Not some bearded old guy, but pure energy. There was great love, joy, happiness, contentment, refreshment...... there were other souls there, call them people. I did not want to come back. But a big blond haired muscly red neck guy told me,"You have to go back!" I told him about the things that were bothering me at the time. I did not want to leave. He said, "You have to work all of that out." He then asked if I was ready I said yes. And he put his hands on my shoulders, then Bam! I was back in my body in the er. Damnit! I was so happy there.......and so unhappy here!

 

[actual_fox]

This energy you talk about is your spirit or just "you". Light is a somewhat of a guiding post for soul, or trap that will lead you to reincarnate. You "survive" your death because you are not physical entity. You cannot be found inside a brain because you are not the brain.

I know what you mean. I have been in this "source" while on drugs, and people see this "source" as opening or light as they die, It is a somewhat of emanating beam of love and feeling of home. And this is real phenomena, lets think It about It for now as phenomena rather then calling It our "source", or "god" substitute. It feels good sure, but they always say: "do not go to the light" because this place ain't your home If you have to go back on the planet earth with all your memories lost. There are also entities there, you can read about them in NDEs, all people who see light later see entities with specific agenda. I think this light activates anytime there is separation of spirit from matter, It waits for your death in other words to lure you, we live in a soul-lure system. And we pray to gods because we are their pray.


absolute tldr



This is what I read that made me think this way:

Spoiler: sources

http://www.trickedbythelight.com/tbtl/light.shtml

Premortal experience, pre-existance, prebirth experiences, past-life/birth remembrances

Over 3000 experiences - Out of Body Experience (OBE) spiritually transformative events (STE), dreams, waking visions, prebirth memories, pre-existence, consciousness studies, extensive information and research. People share their stories and learn more about different states of consciousness...

www.oberf.org

nderf.org

 

[SunsetPeace]

This energy you talk about is your spirit or just "you". Light is a somewhat of a guiding post for soul, or trap that will lead you to reincarnate. You "survive" your death because you are not physical entity. You cannot be found inside a brain because you are not the brain.

I know what you mean. I have been in this "source" while on drugs, and people see this "source" as opening or light as they die, It is a somewhat of emanating beam of love and feeling of home. And this is real phenomena, lets think It about It for now as phenomena rather then calling It our "source", or "god" substitute. It feels good sure, but they always say: "do not go to the light" because this place ain't your home If you have to go back on the planet earth with all your memories lost. There are also entities there, you can read about them in NDEs, all people who see light later see entities with specific agenda. I think this light activates anytime there is separation of spirit from matter, It waits for your death in other words to lure you, we live in a soul-lure system. And we pray to gods because we are their pray.


absolute tldr



This is what I read that made me think this way:

Spoiler: sources

http://www.trickedbythelight.com/tbtl/light.shtml

Premortal experience, pre-existance, prebirth experiences, past-life/birth remembrances

Over 3000 experiences - Out of Body Experience (OBE) spiritually transformative events (STE), dreams, waking visions, prebirth memories, pre-existence, consciousness studies, extensive information and research. People share their stories and learn more about different states of consciousness...

www.oberf.org

nderf.org

Thank you. I will save those videos and have a look at them when I get the chance. It's crazy that other people have become aware of this "Source" as well. There must be something to it, as it isn't something people can just pluck from thin air: how can they all have been made aware of the same thing I was. It must be something beyond the human awareness. It's hard to be certain, but I have a feeling there must be somthing tangible to it. I had no idea about it before the experience either, so it must have come from somewhere beyond this realm.

It's strange that we forget this and, again, I have forgotten the reason for this. After the experience, I have often thought that there may be a soul-luring system at play on Earth. It's strange and hard to understand. From what I can recall, it seems that our "Source" or our true essence has some kind of sadness toward the life experience, and would prefer we didn't have to do it. I don't know if I am just adding my own interpretations to it, or if that is what it is trying to communicate. All I know for certain, is that the human experience is a VERY confusing experience.

On the contrary, you have had an experience similar to my own. I would love to hear more if you ever feel like you want to tell. One of the times I died I went to the most amazing place. It has the strongest light you can imagine. God was There I believe he is that light energy. Not some bearded old guy, but pure energy. There was great love, joy, happiness, contentment, refreshment...... there were other souls there, call them people. I did not want to come back. But a big blond haired muscly red neck guy told me,"You have to go back!" I told him about the things that were bothering me at the time. I did not want to leave. He said, "You have to work all of that out." He then asked if I was ready I said yes. And he put his hands on my shoulders, then Bam! I was back in my body in the er. Damnit! I was so happy there.......and so unhappy here!

I can relate. It was definitely something to do with energy, it wasn't anything to do with a big bearded man in the sky, from my experience. I also know how horrible it feels coming back to your body. I literally remember saying to myself, "Fuck! Not this shit again!" Hopefully we don't have to do it again after this run, but I can't be certain of anything anymore.

 

[actual_fox]

I don't know if I am just adding my own interpretations to it

If you are from this real "source" then your feelings are valid to this source, because you are a part of It, why am I crying while writing this... oh wow.

I have a feeling that timeless void, or observing the observation is somewhat our real nature. State of being of irreducible simplicity and thus peace, this world might be then like a mask that covers It and adds up all of unnecessary drama and pain, not that there is necessary pain. There is no need for pain, unless you into that stuff, joke.

I have heard people on Salvia telling how entities told them to stop going into the wheel of reincarnation, I also feel It is not good to be here, and there are many people even communities that are now researching this topic- mainly subreddits r/reincarnationtruth and r/escapingprisonplanet. There are also people I have to warn you about and these are the people who say earth is a school and they wish you will reincarnate over and over again, so called new agers, or new cagers hahaha, they do not see anything evil on this planet. Also I wanted to add that seeing this love light on psychedelics started my months lasting depression episode and many people who have NDEs never want to come back to earth.

 

[conflagration]

This is what Buddhism says: dependent origination (aka no free will) and no-self. And meditation is just a way to experience those things.

 

[makethepainstop]

I did NOT want to come back here, none of the times I died. I was SO happy....sigh!

 

[actual_fox]

This is what Buddhism says: dependent origination (aka no free will) and no-self. And meditation is just a way to experience those things.

I tried and I felt dissociated and terrible afterwards. I would not recommend meditating and trying to kill your ego. If It is false It will die one day, like a butterfly -It is a set of proteins that work together and It is moving and alive- you know, a butterfly. But It id violence to deny It being butterfly as long as It moves and exist as unity. When It is dead it is no longer a butterfly but molecules. So I won't tell myself I do not exist, because I am a butterfly, but when I am not, then I am no longer It and I am just not being. But until then I am me.

I did NOT want to come back here, none of the times I died. I was SO happy....sigh!

So many people say this after they had NDE. Oh man sorry you feel this way.

 

[eldiablo666]

here's one take on it

 

[FuneralCry]

No matter what I will always believe that when we die, we completely cease to exist, but thank you for sharing. I do really hope that there is nothing after this.

 

[SunsetPeace]

If you are from this real "source" then your feelings are valid to this source, because you are a part of It, why am I crying while writing this... oh wow.

I have a feeling that timeless void, or observing the observation is somewhat our real nature. State of being of irreducible simplicity and thus peace, this world might be then like a mask that covers It and adds up all of unnecessary drama and pain, not that there is necessary pain. There is no need for pain, unless you into that stuff, joke.

I have heard people on Salvia telling how entities told them to stop going into the wheel of reincarnation, I also feel It is not good to be here, and there are many people even communities that are now researching this topic- mainly subreddits r/reincarnationtruth and r/escapingprisonplanet. There are also people I have to warn you about and these are the people who say earth is a school and they wish you will reincarnate over and over again, so called new agers, or new cagers hahaha, they do not see anything evil on this planet. Also I wanted to add that seeing this love light on psychedelics started my months lasting depression episode and many people who have NDEs never want to come back to earth.

Returning to the "Source" was like returning home after being lost in the wilderness for decades: it is like that type of feeling, but times a billion. In a way, it sort of feels like we never leave, it's just the illusion that our brains create that makes us think that way. It feels like time doesn't exist there, I suppose you could call it eternity. It is immeasurable peace. I also got the impression that life on Earth is unnecessary for all living things.

It's hard to tell what is real and what is not in this life, because we live in a state of perpetual confusion in these bodies. I know I was very upset to return to my body and sense of self. I don't think it is beneficial to life to realise these things, either. It makes it all seem so pointless and cruel. I don't know if this is the doing of malevolent entities that live outside the "Source", but I do know that people are justified to view life as cruel.

I don't really have a good grasp of what is going on, but I can only say that this experience was the realest thing I have ever experienced in my life, with this body. The main message I got from the "Source" was love, it was really simple but so powerful at the same time. I wish I could tap into it again, but I suppose I will have to wait my turn. Whether it was real or not, can't really be proved. If it wasn't, then I think the message of unconditional love still stands. It is the only way we can bring light this world.

Thank you for understanding and wishing you all the best in the future!

 

[actual_fox]

If it wasn't, then I think the message of unconditional love still stands. It is the only way we can bring light this world.

Man I think you have been tricked by the light. It surely does feel nice but It makes you come back. I understand It is hard to feel so much love in here but It something we have to think through.

 

[SunsetPeace]

No matter what I will always believe that when we die, we completely cease to exist, but thank you for sharing. I do really hope that there is nothing after this.

I respect that. At the end of the day, it's whatever brings you peace and comfort in this harsh world. My experience was only an interpretation of reality, and can't be proven or shown to others. I can say that it was a form of nothingness, in a way, but not how a human would be able to interpret nothingness: it is a form of non-existence, but it is hard to explain. I think it is best explained as like being everything and nothing at the same time. Whatever turns out to be real at the end of our roads, I hope you find peace.

Man I think you have been tricked by the light. It surely does feel nice but It makes you come back. I understand It is hard to feel so much love in here but It something we have to think through.

Like I say, I just don't know. From that experience, I feel that things can only happen one way. If I was destined to return to this body, then that is what was always going to happen. It's all very confusing to me, and I'm not sure I will ever grasp it. Do you feel there is another way? Do you think we can prevent returning to the body?

This is what Buddhism says: dependent origination (aka no free will) and no-self. And meditation is just a way to experience those things.

I agree with a lof of aspects of Buddhism. Nirvarna was sort of what that experience felt like. Unfortunately, I can't quite get meditation right: it only seems to increase my ego. The only thing that brings me peace in this life, is when I just allow things to be exactly as they are. It's hard to accept from the perspective of our ego, but I feel the only way we can find a semblance of peace in this life is when we let go.

here's one take on it

This is an interesting video, I am still watching through it at the moment. I definitely was made aware of the amnesia from that experience. I can't remember anything about the evil entities. I have forgotten a lot, but I only seem to have a vague memory of the "Source", which I have described. I can totally understand why people would surmise that human life is a form of slavery. It's all very confusing and I have a lot to learn, I believe.

 

[actual_fox]

Do you feel there is another way? Do you think we can prevent returning to the body?

I feel there is other way, universe has many doors as i have heard. We need to try our best, do whatever we can do to prevent this. This is only way out If we are immortal beings in a body, do anything to prevent this from reoccurring and trust nobody who wants us to return here, no matter what they say or do or how they make us feel- because when we are born we are done for. Period.

 

[SunsetPeace]

I did NOT want to come back here, none of the times I died. I was SO happy....sigh!

Same! It's devastating. I'm not sure if there is anything we can do about. If there is, I would like to know because I don't want to do this again!

I feel there is other way, universe has many doors as i have heard. We need to try our best, do whatever we can do to prevent this. This is only way out If we are immortal beings in a body, do anything to prevent this from reoccurring and trust nobody who wants us to return here, no matter what they say or do or how they make us feel- because when we are born we are done for. Period.

I can understand that. I will try to learn what I can about this life. Thank you for your thoughts, and I hope you manage to find your way out in the end. I hope you find peace, whatever is going on here.

 

[Lost Magic]

 

[Pluto]

I'll try not to go into too much detail because I understand this will sound silly to many.

Thank you for sharing this. As someone who has studied near-death experiences and spiritually transformative experiences for countless years, I'm not sure which category to put your experience in without knowing the background circumstances.

If you are interested, I have summarised my understanding of nonduality/Eastern philosophy below.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/the-essence-of-eastern-philosophy.91629/

Everything you say is true. As for the question of how to escape the cycles of rebirth, that is the whole purpose of Eastern religions. The most advanced practice is called self-inquiry, as it aims to expose the fictional self. Without this self being believed in, there's nobody left to be concerned with such matters. The individual self is no more real than Santa Claus so all the fears and desires break down. Of course, this has to be an actual revelation that is lived, not merely a belief.

I'm in the weird position that I can answer any questions you have and provide resources, though I've not been blessed with any direct experience insights myself and I've increasingly given up on making real progress in the ruins of my current lifetime. You seem to be in a much better position to jump in with both feet, though, so please let me know if I can help in any way (this applies to all of you, of course!).

God was There I believe he is that light energy. Not some bearded old guy, but pure energy. There was great love, joy, happiness, contentment, refreshment...... there were other souls there, call them people.

Everything you describe is typical of a legitimate NDE. For anyone interested, a prominent researcher named Kevin Williams has summarised a vast body of literature on the topic here:

God and the Near-Death Experience - Near-Death Experiences and the Afterlife

Near-Death Experiences and the Afterlife profiles God and the Near-Death Experience . Did you enjoy reading this post, we have more!

near-death.com

 

[makethepainstop]

I'd love to know why having blond hair and blue eyes is so damn important for me to reincarnate happily. Love to hear your theory. In this life I had brown hair and green eyes.

 

[rationaltake]

Thank you for sharing this. As someone who has studied near-death experiences and spiritually transformative experiences for countless years, I'm not sure which category to put your experience in without knowing the background circumstances.

If you are interested, I have summarised my understanding of nonduality/Eastern philosophy below.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/the-essence-of-eastern-philosophy.91629/

Everything you say is true. As for the question of how to escape the cycles of rebirth, that is the whole purpose of Eastern religions. The most advanced practice is called self-inquiry, as it aims to expose the fictional self. Without this self being believed in, there's nobody left to be concerned with such matters. The individual self is no more real than Santa Claus so all the fears and desires break down. Of course, this has to be an actual revelation that is lived, not merely a belief.

I'm in the weird position that I can answer any questions you have and provide resources, though I've not been blessed with any direct experience insights myself and I've increasingly given up on making real progress in the ruins of my current lifetime. You seem to be in a much better position to jump in with both feet, though, so please let me know if I can help in any way (this applies to all of you, of course!).

Everything you describe is typical of a legitimate NDE. For anyone interested, a prominent researcher named Kevin Williams has summarised a vast body of literature on the topic here:

God and the Near-Death Experience - Near-Death Experiences and the Afterlife

Near-Death Experiences and the Afterlife profiles God and the Near-Death Experience . Did you enjoy reading this post, we have more!

near-death.com

I would like to ask about the self and rebirth. Sorry about your current situation. I'm beyond anything much in this life.

Anyway if there is no self what about rebirth? It came to me one day that perhaps actions performed by a current being cause a being to exist in the future. No need for self.

This kind of makes sense to me if one is all and all is one. All beings are part of the same force.

Not expressed very well and maybe not valid.

What about suicide and Buddhism? Not the best idea as the aim is to overcome suffering? I think the idea is to have a calm death to achieve a good rebirth? I still want to try for a calm suicide. Have no N and wondering how calm an SN death would be.

 

[Pluto]

I would like to ask about the self and rebirth. Sorry about your current situation. I'm beyond anything much in this life.

Anyway if there is no self what about rebirth? It came to me one day that perhaps actions performed by a current being cause a being to exist in the future. No need for self.

This kind of makes sense to me if one is all and all is one. All beings are part of the same force.

Not expressed very well and maybe not valid.

What about suicide and Buddhism? Not the best idea as the aim is to overcome suffering? I think the idea is to have a calm death to achieve a good rebirth? I still want to try for a calm suicide. Have no N and wondering how calm an SN death would be.

These are great questions. I am just heading out to work but I will reply tonight after some mulling.

 

[rationaltake]

These are great questions. I am just heading out to work but I will reply tonight after some mulling.

Thank you so much. I hope work is ok.

 

[SunsetPeace]

Thank you for sharing this. As someone who has studied near-death experiences and spiritually transformative experiences for countless years, I'm not sure which category to put your experience in without knowing the background circumstances.

If you are interested, I have summarised my understanding of nonduality/Eastern philosophy below.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/the-essence-of-eastern-philosophy.91629/

Everything you say is true. As for the question of how to escape the cycles of rebirth, that is the whole purpose of Eastern religions. The most advanced practice is called self-inquiry, as it aims to expose the fictional self. Without this self being believed in, there's nobody left to be concerned with such matters. The individual self is no more real than Santa Claus so all the fears and desires break down. Of course, this has to be an actual revelation that is lived, not merely a belief.

I'm in the weird position that I can answer any questions you have and provide resources, though I've not been blessed with any direct experience insights myself and I've increasingly given up on making real progress in the ruins of my current lifetime. You seem to be in a much better position to jump in with both feet, though, so please let me know if I can help in any way (this applies to all of you, of course!).

Everything you describe is typical of a legitimate NDE. For anyone interested, a prominent researcher named Kevin Williams has summarised a vast body of literature on the topic here:

God and the Near-Death Experience - Near-Death Experiences and the Afterlife

Near-Death Experiences and the Afterlife profiles God and the Near-Death Experience . Did you enjoy reading this post, we have more!

near-death.com

The background circumstances were drug use, possibly in a nigh on fatal dose, but I'm not a drug expert. I was around 16 or 17. I was going through a rebellious teenage phase where I was using weed, stimulants and ecstacy on a regular basis. One of my friend's older brothers had offered us, what was said to be, the strongest ecstacy pills we would ever take. We bought them from him and all took a handful each. I can't remember exactly how many pills. When we started to feel the effects, we all noted how intense it was and I began panicking a bit. The panic eventually subsided to a carefree and childlike attitude to everything

I have used ecstacy before, but it was nothing like those pills. One of my friends ended up taking badly to them, and we had to take him home. I know it was common for young people in my area to die from ecstacy pills because they were often cut with toxic chemicals. I also know that even the pure MDMA crystals can be highly neurotoxic. I am guessing my brain stopped temporarily,or slowed down significantly, during the night, but I don't really know. I didn't feel any discomfort, but I wasn't really aware of sensations coming from my body. It was a bit like the body was on autopilot: it was just doing its own thing and my awareness seemed to stretch out beyond the physical world.

I have read about Eastern religions since the experience, and it seems they are the closest I can get to making sense of the experience. I have also read ideas about nondualism, which seems to encapsulate what I was made aware of in that experience: the idea that there is no self and we are all one. I am trying to explain this experience from a first person point of view, but it wasn't really what was happening. There was no "me" experiencing it, but I don't know how else to describe it.

All in all a very confusing experience, at least from the perspective of the ego. I don't know what happened or how it did, but I was not able to replicate it. I also came clean off drugs after the experience due to feelings of love for everything and everyone. I still struggle to recall it now in great detail. Wish I could give you more concrete details, but that is the best I can do.

 

[FireWalkWithMe]

I personally think the fallacy is believing that because the brain is not a "conscious agent" then there is no free will. This is conflating two different things and possibly where free will arises from.

The reason I think that the hard problem of consciousness exists is that we are obsessed with trying to show that the brain is the primary controller of thoughts, feelings, emotions. Therefore we cannot conceive of a reality with free will once that is difficult to prove because if the brain is not producing it then what can? This could be a limitation of our own world view because we are drilled into objective reality, particularly in Western culture.

The more we begin to hypothesise that the brain, and indeed the body are physical representations but not the source of conscious being the easier it will be to understand. This is difficult to understand intuitively because we see a brain scan showing dementia and therefore it is the brain causing dementia, that is how cause and effect should work according to current scientific method.

But if this reality works by representation, by subjective data streams of consciousness, then the fact the physical brain is consistent with a diagnosis of dementia is not because the brain causes dementia, it is because it is consistent in this reality to show a neurological category of restriction placed on a person in the brain. If the brain was completely fine and the symptoms of dementia are clear then that's not a consistent reality, that's a funhouse reality.

If we extend this to thought, feeling, emotion - we get a response in the brain when poked with various stimuli. Does this mean the brain is ultimately responsible for the formation of those thoughts? That's not a given, in fact that remains totally unproven. We simply know we get a response, which again creates a consistency in this reality. The brain is supposed to show a response and it does. If it didn't it would be about as consistent as throwing a rock into a pool and getting no splash. Certain things are supposed to happen according to parameters in this reality.

My point in all this is that free will is probably not derived from the brain but a higher source, anyway. The same source you are speaking of.

 

[LucyB]

I'll try not to go into too much detail because I understand this will sound silly to many. In fact, if I hadn't had the experience of whatever that was, I would think I was crazy as well. This experience plays on my mind a lot, and I am not sure if it was real, but it felt realer than this life or awareness we normally see. In fact, if I hadn't experienced it, I would probably not be too fond of the idea of suicide. It's this experience that makes me wonder if death is not what we think it is, and maybe could be something better than we could ever imagine.

Before I start explaining it, I want to explain why I feel like it may have been real, rather than a hallucination. To preface, I was an ignorant teenager at the time, and I had no clue whatsoever about any of these concepts: I only realised that people share these similiar experiences later in life, also I was unaware that science was proving some of the things I had realised. So, two of the things I "realised" was that there is no free will and there is no self. Scientist are beginning to show, with evidence, that there is no entity in the brain or concsious conspirator that controls our actions. They are showing that the idea that we are in control of how our lives go, is just an elaborate illusion created by the brain. A lot of people believe these things are still up for debate, but I think it's strange that I was able to become aware of these ideas without any prior knowledge. You can read some of the scientific articles here, if you are interested:

• https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/06/theres-no-such-thing-as-free-will/480750/
• https://www.livescience.com/55999-is-your-self-just-an-illusion.html

If all this is true, then it goes to show that none of us are in control of our actions. We shouldn't beat ourselves up for being suicidal because things could have only turned out one way. If all this is true, then the human experience could be considered similiar to a rollercoaster ride; like a rollercoaster ride where we think we are in control of where the cart goes, but in reality we could only have followed the track laid out before us. We think we make choices, but everything just occurs automatically without conscious effort.

Now with that out the way, this is the weird part and I'll try to translate it as best as I can. I will use the term "I", but it really wasn't me experiencing it. I became aware of something I later termed the "Source". I believed this is the place our energy returns to after it has departed the human body. I recall finding it shocking that I had forgotten about this place: it felt like home. I remember thinking how silly it was that I could be born or die when there was no "me" in the first place. I realised I was just energy inhabiting physical matter, and that my brain was simulating an illusory experience of being a human seperate from everthing else in the Universe. I realised that we are all one and the same thing: we are all the same energy wearing different disguises. I say it was "me" experiencing it, but it really wasn't and I don't know how I have retained this. The best way I could describe it, is being like everything and nothing at the same time.

The "Source" was a "place" filled with unconditional love, peace and freedom from suffering. Suffering wasn't a thing there, it can only happen on Earth in physical bodies. I believe it was like a collective conscious, but we aren't capable of being aware of it in our human forms. You could call it God, but it wasn't like the God most of you will be familiar with. It wasn't seperate from you: it is you and you are it. You were never seperated from it, only your awareness was, but it will return there when the physical body dies. There is no judgement from it, only love and peace beyond words: you couldn't harness even a fraction of it as a human. It seemed like there was some kind of sadness for the suffering on Earth, but I don't think it was capable of doing anything about it. It's hard to explain, but that's the best I can do currently. I've probably butchered it, but that is the general sentiment of the experience.

Like I say, I am aware these "realisations" may have been hallucinations, but I think it is interesting that a lot of what I realised is being proven by science now. It's hard to shake because it felt so much realer than what we would refer to as reality. Take what I say with a grain of salt, but this is me being as honest and accurate as I can about the experience. I would be interested to hear your own thoughts. I won't judge anyone either, if you think all I have described is ridiculous, then just say it. But please understand that this is something I have struggled to understand for a good portion of my life and it is hard to shake when it felt so real and beautiful. Thank you in advance.

This is interesting and goes right with what I've been saying. I believe most people here do not have individual souls and thus they are not individual people. Most people in this world come from one source. The source that created this world. It does not mean you are bad or evil. None of these people are in control of there actions even though they think they are. These people suffer tremendously even though they have no idea who they are or what's actually happening to them. There are 8 billion people in this world and I would say 80 to 90% of them all were created from the God that created this world. There is no world were so many people are crammed into one space. This world was created this way by design. I remember what my life was like before here and it's nothing like this.

 

[👁️👃👁️]

I am that I am and I forgot that I forgot.

 

[SunsetPeace]

This is interesting and goes right with what I've been saying. I believe most people here do not have individual souls and thus they are not individual people. Most people in this world come from one source. The source that created this world. It does not mean you are bad or evil. None of these people are in control of there actions even though they think they are. These people suffer tremendously even though they have no idea who they are or what's actually happening to them. There are 8 billion people in this world and I would say 80 to 90% of them all were created from the God that created this world. There is no world were so many people are crammed into one space. This world was created this way by design. I remember what my life was like before here and it's nothing like this.

It's interesting to think that some people have souls and others don't. After that experience, I don't feel I have an individual soul: I feel more like fragmented energy that is connected to the "Source". I'm not an individual entity, I'm just living the illusion of one. At the time, from what I can recall, I was not aware of anyone having an individual soul. In fact, I recall finding it impossible to distinguish my energy from others around me. I also recall finding the idea of a self to be ridiculous. I explain all this from a first person awareness because it is the only way I know how at the moment, but that wasn't what was happening at the time: my self was dead, and I realised that it was never real in the first place.

Maybe certain individuals have souls that are seperate from this "Source", I struggle to remember that level of awareness now. It's all very confusing now I am back in this body. I find it hard to be certain of what is real after that experience, but I know I can only do the best with the limited tools I have got. Science seems to be proving that there is a lot more beyond the naked eye, and I believe experts have theorized we only see a small percentage of the objective reality. However, if that experience I had was true, then I believe none of us have anything to worry about in the end.

 

[Darkover]

there's no point to life when everything you are returns into being nothing
when you die that is the end of you, you'll never exist ever again at least no memory remains of any past life maybe reincarnation
but really who would want to come back alive in this place anyway
a one time trip through hell or multiple who knows but when we die we cease to exist altogther

 

[conflagration]

What about suicide and Buddhism? Not the best idea as the aim is to overcome suffering? I think the idea is to have a calm death to achieve a good rebirth? I still want to try for a calm suicide. Have no N and wondering how calm an SN death would be.

There is one sutta that endorses suicide if it is done with right mindset: https://suttacentral.net/sn4.23/en/...e&notes=asterisk&highlight=false&script=latin
In the sutta, the Buddhist Satan, Mara, tries to prevent Godhika's suicide as he knows that after death, Godhika will reach Nirvana. And that's what happens indeed.

 

[eldiablo666]

there's no point to life when everything you are returns into being nothing
when you die that is the end of you, you'll never exist ever again at least no memory remains of any past life maybe reincarnation
but really who would want to come back alive in this place anyway
a one time trip through hell or multiple who knows but when we die we cease to exist altogther

Truth is nobody knows.
Maybe there's a dimension where our souls go back to. But reincarnation seems very real

 

[rationaltake]

There is one sutta that endorses suicide if it is done with right mindset: https://suttacentral.net/sn4.23/en/...e&notes=asterisk&highlight=false&script=latin
In the sutta, the Buddhist Satan, Mara, tries to prevent Godhika's suicide as he knows that after death, Godhika will reach Nirvana. And that's what happens indeed.

I would love to achieve this. Thank you.