I think I lost them

[Some place nice]

So I think they told me that they don't love me anymore... Ya'know we decided to be friends bc thats what they needed rn, they need someone to support them without the anxiety that I have. But I still have feelings for them and they saw me venting about it in my phone so now they know that I still have feelings for them... Today they told me "hey, don't feel bad if you have more feelings, it okay. Im just not okay." Did they forget a word? Or am I being delusional and they just don't like me like that anymore. They stopped their meds just before they came down to see me so they were and still are going through withdrawals. Idk what to think my anxiety paranoia and abandonment issues are all telling me the same thing, that when they saw me irl they didn't like me anymore and now they're gonna leave. If they do leave I'll ctb. They are my world and I was willing to wait but, if they aren't coming back and they're just gonna leave me I cant handle that. They already know this too. I just wanted someone to love me and I almost got it but, they're gonna leave me... Its just my fate to die alone... Never to be loved... To never marry and have kids... Just knowing that they don't love me anymore makes me want to die. I just wanted love. Why does the universe hate me? What did I do?