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FoolishDog

Member
Nov 20, 2020
20
I don't know that I want anyone to advise me about this. Don't incriminate yourself is what I'm saying. I'm also not responsible for what anyone does because of reading what I have to say. I'm only saying this here because there's no where else to say it.

I think I have my plan. I have a plan, anyways. Partial suspension in my closet with a neck tie. I have a nice wide one, it's silk and pretty strong. The silk feels pretty good around my neck. Not exactly comfortable, it's choking me after all, but much better than a rope would be I imagine. The tie and closet pole are strong enough to hold my weight. I wasn't sure about the closet pole but it seems to be okay. I'm only about 150 lbs.

Another thing I'm considering is full suspension from a metal pole that's in my basement. The pole will hold me but I'm concerned that with full suspension I might need something stronger than my tie. If I put two ties together, which I own, I'm concerned that they might slip apart, I wont be able to tie the knots well, or one tie will be slightly shorter than the other and thus hold an uneven amount of my weight while the other pretty much does nothing.

I think, if I'm certain that I'm out of options, that I can do a partial suspension. I'll need to explain myself and the situation to some people in my life. So I'll write a letter. Perhaps a couple letters. There are people in this world that I owe an explanation to. I'm not sure why, but I think I want to dress in my nicest suit. Get a haircut, clean the facial hair up, that kind of thing. Although I don't think they'll bury me in the same suit I died in, so maybe not. There's probably only one thing I own that I'd like to have on me. That's my AA 3 year coin. It would be so easy to overdose on heroin/fentanyl. It's all over the streets around here. I know where to find it, how to use it, how much to use, and I can afford to buy it. I just don't think I want to die fucked up like that. I think the pain and discomfort of a suspension is better some how.

I don't know where else to share these thoughts. I'm glad I have this forum.
 
StuFin

StuFin

Arcanist
Oct 21, 2020
450
I guess having the 3 year AA coin is showing a sense of self control and that this is a thought out thing, rather than on a whim, under the influence?

Maybe why you don't want to use drugs?

A sign of control?
 
M

Miss_Takes

Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Dec 4, 2020
452
Your post has touched deeply and while its tempting to tell you why I want to honour your space here.
I suppose I just want you to know that I will carry the resonance of your post with me today.
I am glad we have this forum also.
 
R

RepressedMind

Miss the full ability to think
Apr 24, 2020
160
I think just to be on the safe side, if you're doing full suspension, you should buy a sturdy rope. Congrats on the 3 year AA coin, that shows that you have good self-control.
 
F

FoolishDog

Member
Nov 20, 2020
20
Yeah I've been clean and sober for a few years now. This isn't something I'm just now thinking about.

I've thought about it a little more and I think a nice sturdy dog leash would work well for a full suspension. I like that the tie I've got is flat against my neck. It's the most comfortable thing I could find. The partial suspension wasn't really terribly painful when I tested it. I mean, I know it's going to hurt. It did hurt, but not that bad, for me anyways. I know a nylon dog leash is likely to be less gentle, but it's stronger. Seems like everyone chooses partial suspension because it's more gentle.

The drugs would be the easiest way to go I think. I bet I could even find them online with local chat apps. It just doesn't seem like the right way for me to go.
 
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Mashedout

Mashedout

Student
Nov 25, 2020
126
I was always under the impression that overdose by fentanyl would still be painful because you're choking essentially as you stop breathing. Is this true?
 
F

FoolishDog

Member
Nov 20, 2020
20
I was always under the impression that overdose by fentanyl would still be painful because you're choking essentially as you stop breathing. Is this true?
I watched a guy overdose on heroin, I brought him back with Narcan, saved his life. He didn't seem like he was in any pain but I could be wrong. I did hear his lungs start to shut down. I was slapping him, pinching him, beating on his chest, and I got no response. When I finally arrived at where the Narcan was and administered it to him he came to and didn't even know where he was or what happend. Although just because he was unresponsive doesn't mean that it didn't hurt.

Now, this was an experienced heroin user that was using heroin intraveinously. I know if someone who isn't experienced with heroin uses it intraveinously (like the first time I did) they're very likely to throw up. There is the risk of vomiting and choking to death on your own vomit. Really, I don't recommend it's use to anyone who doesn't aleady know how Really, I don't recommend it's use at all. If someone's already using it or has used it then they already know how to overdose. If someone's not using it they are likely to make a mistake.

I'm only sharing my experiences with heroin/fentanyl. I've never overdosed myself. There is another forum out there that is devoted to proper drug use, it's purpose is harm reduction. I'm sure there's more gentle ways to die out there.
 
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E

eventhoitryicantltgo

Member
Dec 7, 2020
13
Three years is a big deal, you should be proud of yourself. Even more proud that you are surrounded by sources to get more and use it to CTB and you have chosen a different method if you decide to. I've been sober for six months and it is a struggle to get through the day, I miss nicotine/smoking/vaping the most though and I don't want to use at all if I don't smoke/vape with the using. I've been struggling with using partial suspension so I have chosen the same method as well, it is really hard to commit to this though, it hurts and it makes me feel awful. Full suspension seems almost heroic to commit to and pull off as well.

Anyways, my main point is you should be really proud of your sobriety and your commitment to it no matter what. A lot of people would not be able to do this and it shows your strength.
 
F

FoolishDog

Member
Nov 20, 2020
20
I've tested it a couple times. I'm not sure about it either. Really it's not the pain of it that worries me. I feel like if I commit, I'm going to commit. I'd really like for the tie to hold my entire weight but I don't think that it will.
 
elfgyoza

elfgyoza

Cursed
Aug 5, 2019
326
I was always under the impression that overdose by fentanyl would still be painful because you're choking essentially as you stop breathing. Is this true?
I don't think that is the case, as FoolishDog also said. I took, what I thought was fentanyl, to CTB last year and that just felt like a nice long nap. Of course, I can't say for certain that what I took even was F at all, maybe the purity was crap or it was cut with something... But my point is that you're unlikely to feel anything other than a bit dizzy and feint. Anything that happens after you fall unconscious will not cause you any discomfort, you wouldn't feel anything at all.
I'd never taken an opioid and I vomited a lot, like I've never seen so much vomit lol. There was also some blood so I assumed all the vomit irritated my throat or something. So, like FoolishDog said, yeah you'd probably throw up if you've no tolerance... Despite that, it wasn't even a bad experience tbf, I'd do it again if I had the drugs, I'd give it a strong 7 or 8/10 on the peaceful scale
 
Last edited:
Throwmyselfaway

Throwmyselfaway

Not gone yet but soon
Jan 14, 2020
798
As someone else that has their chips, I like your plan to hold on to yours. I think mine will go in my pocket
 
YukiFox

YukiFox

Pastel demon
Dec 8, 2018
320
I don't recommend neckties for full suspension. I tried it and stretched and broke. In partial hanging I was able to feel discomfort and I shake a little after 15 seconds of stretching my neck. Still hurts after 6 hours of my attempt.
Anyway, good trip, friend. I hope it will work for y
ou.
 
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Silver

Silver

The 21st century is when everything changes
Aug 8, 2020
745
I saw a photo of a silk tie that snapped when being used for ctb so I wouldn't risk using a tie. Congrats on your 3 year chip.
 

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