Venting I still don’t know what my purpose is without him

[BlueButterfly111]

I just really need some help, it's now been a year and 8 months since he passed away. ALMOSY 2 FUCKING YEARS!!! I still don't see what the purpose of life is without him, I just miss him so much still. I don't know if I was supposed to kill myself way back when, but I still keep receiving spiritual signals to stay alive I think! I just hope God, or the universe, or whoever would send me someone or something to really live for already. I know I made mistakes, but I just really wish that I could find a meaningful purpose to be on this Earth. And if the purpose is for me to die, just give it to me, or at least give me something to live for again for a little while if I'm meant to die soon anyways.

Oh, who am I kidding, life isn't fair, and nothing about the human species makes sense to me. Just really miss my Henry, I know it was time for him to go most likely, but I really wish things could've been different, so that we could be happy together. But that's life, and I'm just too sad, Idk what to do. I feel exactly the same way as the boy who cried wolf, I feel all alone in the world, and everyone hates me and it's all my fault. I just wish I had someone, I wish he didn't have to leave me in this world all by myself, I just feel so alone. I don't think there's really anything anyone can say to make feel better, it's torture, it continues…

 

[truehappiness]

Hey you,
you are right in the regard that life is unfair. In every way possible and without question.

Nobody will come and tell you to die. That is a decision you alone have to decide or not, it can not be made for you
If you still see signs that your life has worth, then your life most certainly has worth! Hang on and keep going.
You will eventually reach your true happiness and that is something everyone should find solace in :>

If you need a hug or someone to talk to I am always here. We are all in search for better times here, may that be in life or death. :D

Hanging on mistakes is also something that will ultimately self destruct you. I am one to talk, considering that I make nothing but mistake, but I know that it is something you have to let go eventually.
I can absolutely resonate with your feeling of having lost the one perfect person in life. Sadly those are things that can no longer be restored afterwards. It is how the world goes and the world is in it's essence suffering

"He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how." and I know you will find a new "why" <3