nails
wait i'm goated
- Feb 12, 2023
- 490
if you saw this like 10 mins ago when i accidentally posted it.. no you didn't 
it would have been perfect, i am angry. i don't want to be alive now. i wish i had died yesterday. now i have to continue being overwhelmed by these emotions. today was pretty bad. i spent the first half of my shift bawling my eyes out. i received hugs from a few people, which was nice, but i can tell they just felt obligated to do that. i appreciate it nonetheless, but it doesn't mean much. and we were all sweaty so it was a little gross, we were sticking to each other.
i'm also very low on alcohol, i only have like 4 bottles of beer at home so idk what to do. i hope i can convince my brother to get me some more so i don't have to rawdog my off day tomorrow. i am completely overwhelmed and i need these thoughts to stop. i wouldn't have to deal with this if i died yesterday. plus, i want to get shitfaced tonight because i dont work tomorrow,, can't do that with 4 beers...
i am tired of this life. im tired of clocking in for this stupid job that i hate just to come home and get yelled at. i can't even do anything about it, i have nowhere to vent (except here, which i am a little hesitant to do... even if doesn't seem like it). more specifically, i have no one to vent to. i just have to get ass raped, no lube, by my circumstances and shitty thoughts and take that constant bullshit like a good boy because there is genuinely nothing to do about it. things weren't much better before, but at least i had people to bitch to. i wish i didn't hate everything. i want to enjoy things again. i want to look forward to goijg home ans playing video games wth friends or drawing or watching new shows and movies, but i dont want to do anything becuase it's lonely and just sad.
i am shaking rn and nothing is even happening. i wish i could be dead or braindead rn, i dont want to think about this shit. i feel like i'm about to start bouncing off the walls. i domt want to go home but i dont want to be stuck in this building, listening to ginuwine and surrounded by these people who smell awful. i am so tired. i want to shower and then drink and then go to sleep forever. IM TIRED
i cant wait to die. i womt have to deal with loneliness or migraines or smelly people or bad memories or grief of old relationships or anhedonia. it will just be quiet.
edit: excuse my language
i am genuinely tweaking rn. if i had a diary to write this shit in, i'd be gripping the pen with my whole fist and the paper would be torn.
it would have been perfect, i am angry. i don't want to be alive now. i wish i had died yesterday. now i have to continue being overwhelmed by these emotions. today was pretty bad. i spent the first half of my shift bawling my eyes out. i received hugs from a few people, which was nice, but i can tell they just felt obligated to do that. i appreciate it nonetheless, but it doesn't mean much. and we were all sweaty so it was a little gross, we were sticking to each other.
i'm also very low on alcohol, i only have like 4 bottles of beer at home so idk what to do. i hope i can convince my brother to get me some more so i don't have to rawdog my off day tomorrow. i am completely overwhelmed and i need these thoughts to stop. i wouldn't have to deal with this if i died yesterday. plus, i want to get shitfaced tonight because i dont work tomorrow,, can't do that with 4 beers...
i am tired of this life. im tired of clocking in for this stupid job that i hate just to come home and get yelled at. i can't even do anything about it, i have nowhere to vent (except here, which i am a little hesitant to do... even if doesn't seem like it). more specifically, i have no one to vent to. i just have to get ass raped, no lube, by my circumstances and shitty thoughts and take that constant bullshit like a good boy because there is genuinely nothing to do about it. things weren't much better before, but at least i had people to bitch to. i wish i didn't hate everything. i want to enjoy things again. i want to look forward to goijg home ans playing video games wth friends or drawing or watching new shows and movies, but i dont want to do anything becuase it's lonely and just sad.
i am shaking rn and nothing is even happening. i wish i could be dead or braindead rn, i dont want to think about this shit. i feel like i'm about to start bouncing off the walls. i domt want to go home but i dont want to be stuck in this building, listening to ginuwine and surrounded by these people who smell awful. i am so tired. i want to shower and then drink and then go to sleep forever. IM TIRED
i cant wait to die. i womt have to deal with loneliness or migraines or smelly people or bad memories or grief of old relationships or anhedonia. it will just be quiet.edit: excuse my language
i am genuinely tweaking rn. if i had a diary to write this shit in, i'd be gripping the pen with my whole fist and the paper would be torn.
Last edited:
