Venting I saw someone say that committing suicide is "abusive"

[Malaria]

I actually saw someone say that committing suicide is abusive and "I don't care how you feel, when you commit suicide you are abusing the people around you, and regardless of what you say, you should be hospitalized and get some help."

I don't know about any of you, but personally, I can't stand when people say stuff like that. One reason is because in my opinion, if you stigmatize suicide like this, people are less likely to want to be open about their feelings, out of fear that they're going to be judged so harshly like this.

Another reason why this bothers me is because I have actually gone through abuse. Whatever abuse you can think of, physical, sexual, verbal, I've been through it all. To me, SA'ing someone, or telling them everyday how stupid and worthless they are, is actual abuse. My abuse I've experienced has contributed so much to my suicidal ideation, so the fact that I'm being even compared to the people who made me want to die is just... it's indescribable.

Honestly, many of my "loved ones" who would mourn my death after I'm gone, many of them are the reason why I want to kill myself. I've been burned and betrayed by those close to me so many times that it's hard to make any connections.

This is harsh, but sometimes it's hard for me to muster up any sympathy if people mourn my death because of how much I've been hurt. The only ones I think I would genuinely feel sorry for if they mourn my death would be my boyfriend, my brother, and my dogs. But everyone else? I'm too mad at everyone else right now.

So yeah. Fuck off with your guilt tripping. You're not helping anyone, you're just making suicidal people feel worse and not want to talk about their feelings out of fear of being judged by people like you.

 

[Malaria]

I'm really just so tired of people guilt tripping me to stay. Like that's actually going to work. You don't care about my suffering, you just want to manipulate my emotions and use my tendency to be compassionate towards others against me. So tired of this.

 

[EyesOfNight]

Wouldn't abuse require you to get something out of it? People abuse others to make themselves feel superior, have a sense of control, to vent their emotions at the cost of others etc. But once you're dead you physically can't benefit from it. You can compare it to leaving any relationship.
I'm sorry you had to deal with such, such... I don't even know how to describe those people.

 

[Malaria]

Wouldn't abuse require you to get something out of it? People abuse others to make themselves feel superior, have a sense of control, to vent their emotions at the cost of others etc. But once you're dead you physically can't benefit from it. You can compare it to leaving any relationship.
I'm sorry you had to deal with such, such... I don't even know how to describe those people.

I know, right?! That's exactly what I'm feeling, I'm not even getting power or pleasure from dying, so how in the world is wanting to escape my pain "abusive"? It's so absurd.

Like, oh, so people think I'm such a bad person for wanting to no longer deal with my mental disorders and traumas, okay, make it make sense.

 

[ctbcat]

if suicide is abuse then i'm the most notorious criminal of the century i guess!

i find it really interesting the ways people try to rephrase 'suicide is selfish'... is death selfish in general, then? is it ol' granny's fault she couldn't fight physical illness any longer? is she abusing her grandkids via her death alone?

 

[Captive_Mind515]

It's the ultimate in gaslighting.

Your problems are important BUT... think of EVERYONE else first. (even the people who contributed to your suffering)

So, in other words, your problems are not really very important. You should be a martyr and keep suffering for the greater good. The greater good being a society that needs people who can be exploited and used up.

Sometimes you cannot help being a victim because of life circumstances. But trying to keep someone trapped as a permanent victim, is really a terribly inhumane and cruel practice. (often perpetrated by people who view themselves as "the good guys")

 

[rozeske]

I actually saw someone say that committing suicide is abusive and "I don't care how you feel, when you commit suicide you are abusing the people around you, and regardless of what you say, you should be hospitalized and get some help."

I think that kind of comment could easily turn a suicidal person to a homicidal one right then and there.

 

[AlcoholicsCalculus]

I would say the only case where suicide is abusive is if it was committed out of revenge in front of someone to inflict as much trauma as possible.

 

[Malaria]

I would say the only case where suicide is abusive is if it was committed out of revenge in front of someone to inflict as much trauma as possible.

See, in cases like that, yeah I can understand why someone would think that's abusive.

But if it's for things like mental illness and trauma, calling that abusive is absurd and insensitive to me, and ironically enough, a pretty abusive thing to say.

 

[AlcoholicsCalculus]

See, in cases like that, yeah I can understand why someone would think that's abusive.

But if it's for things like mental illness and trauma, calling that abusive is absurd and insensitive to me, and ironically enough, a pretty abusive thing to say.

Oh I totally agree. People that say that have no idea what we're going through and shouldn't have any say in what we do with our own bodies and lives.

 

[BorderlineChellery]

I'm really just so tired of people guilt tripping me to stay. Like that's actually going to work. You don't care about my suffering, you just want to manipulate my emotions and use my tendency to be compassionate towards others against me. So tired of this.

My mental health team say this to me all the time. They want me to think about the pain it would cause others if I did it, but they won't think about the pain that makes me want to do it. It's double standards

 

[Forever Sleep]

I just find it such a contradictory statement really. Because- insisting that someone should live despite their very likely horrible circumstances (people don't usually do it on a whim) seems to suggest that a human should and can deal with anything thrown at them. Yet, saying that- they are suggesting that they won't be able to deal with the grief of losing you. So- it's ok for them to be deeply affected by something but, apparently, we can't be? Thanks!

Of course- the argument will be that we would be acting on our upset with terribly unpsetting consequences for everyone else. Which is fair- I'm sure it's something most people consider. Many people on here are in fact, hanging on for the sake of others- me included. I've had ideation to varying intensities for 34 years. If anyone calls me selfish, I'll come back and haunt them! That way, they'll never have to be without me.

But yeah. It's quite an incredible statement really. I don't think I've heard it put so egotisitcally before. Almost like you're doing it to spite them or, deliberately hurt them. When- you're supposed to be there for their entertainment maybe? Where I would actually agree though I'm afraid is having dependents. (Children.)

I'm not denying that it's a terrible consequence of course. But then- all the shit that has befell us in life has come at the consequence of us being born to begin with. We were given a death sentence the moment we took our first breath. Not all of us are thrilled about that either! A lot of us feel like life has been inflicted on us and now, we're emotionally blackmailed to keep it and limited to only brutal or unreliable methods to rid ourselves of it. I'd say that was pretty sadistic too!

Plus, people usually become suicidal for a reason. I doubt they were surrounded by loving and supportive people to get that way in the first place. Maybe some were but, you can bet there's trauma there too.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

They can't expect what they don't want to repricocate.

Abuse is what happens in those hospitals.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Life itself is abusive to me yet I don't see any of them acknowledge that. They talk about how being selfish is bad in this case but the thing is that everybody is selfish. I'll always prioritise myself over others and I know that everybody else is the same

 

[Linda]

Let's try and get some balance. It is true that suicide can be hard on those close to you. (It isn't always, but it can be.) It is also true that life can be hard on any of us, and that sometimes it can be intolerably hard. So this isn't a topic where rigid, black and white attitudes are helpful. Indeed, as @Malaria points out, they can be harmful. We are dealing with shades of grey. Reality is messy, and we are dealing with a topic where each situation must be considered on its merits. Potential effects on other people should be considered, but they must also be weighed against the needs of the person considering suicide. If, after doing that, someone concludes that it is time to go, if that decision is not impulsive, but is a considered, rational response to a bad situation that is not likely to improve and that makes a good life impossible, then what right does anyone else have to intervene? They are entitled to disagree with the decision, if they wish, but their disagreement doesn't grant them any special rights.

 

[SexyIncél]

"If suicide's so abusive, fine — give me the death penalty"

 

[SilentSadness]

Abuse means to use something incorrectly, I don't see how dying could be abusing someone else. It's just a nonsensical but unsurprising statement from another delusional pro lifer.

 

[FuneralCry]

Is that person even being serious who is saying that. Pro-lifers really are so ridiculous, I cannot take them seriously. But anyway no matter what insensitive nonsense they come out with the right to die is a human right. We never even consented to this existence in the first place and aren't obligated to continue, it's unacceptable extreme cruelty forcing people to continue suffering in this existence.

 

[Pluto]

This angle strikes me as being an emotive tactic rather than a convincing argument.

 

[TransientEternal]

I'm really just so tired of people guilt tripping me to stay. Like that's actually going to work. You don't care about my suffering, you just want to manipulate my emotions and use my tendency to be compassionate towards others against me. So tired of this.

The more this is used, the more I slowly lose my guilt.

Reminds me of this meme:

 

[ObssessedEirika]

Reminds me of how suicide back in the day could earn someone a death penalty. It just doesn't make sense. Their words contradict and then problems arise. It's so weird but in some kind of twisted way, funny to me.

 

[Final_Choice]

Guilt-tripping and gaslighting are for some reason one of the go-to strategies of pro-lifers. I would prefer they use ways that make the person feel better about themselves if they're going to do anything at all, as saying stuff like this makes me feel like I'm in a hostage situation and just makes me care less about the people around me.

 

[Malaria]

Guilt-tripping and gaslighting are for some reason one of the go-to strategies of pro-lifers. I would prefer they use ways that make the person feel better about themselves if they're going to do anything at all, as saying stuff like this makes me feel like I'm in a hostage situation and just makes me care less about the people around me.

Yes, absolutely, I feel the exact same way.