Discussion I Reject Society

[Romeo's Dying Wish]

I wish to die but I have never lived, The pain of my seperation/alienation is what fuels my suicidal impulses,
but deep down I want to live and I want to love but I can not be a part of society.

The very fact that everyday something must die for me to live.
That I must eat the flesh of the living to survive is so painful, disgusting and yet at the same time so beautiful that a creature is sacrificed and its life essence becomes a part of me.

Society and it's Death Factories, Assembly Lines of Death, Creatures brought into existence with the only purpose is to be devoured on such large scales for profit is disgusting.

Society is built upon the mass graves of broken bones of the working class, while the rich look down upon us from their castles.
A Corrupt system of Thieves, Gangsters, Lawyers and Narcissist CEO's, the worst traits of human behaviour are rewarded.

Society depraves the individual of any meaningful existence and you become a just another tool, and when broken you are easily replaced.

Where is my Inherit worth and value as a human being? am I not more than just a number on a spreadsheet? am I not more than just a machine?

I need to survive but I cannot conform to society, which only leaves me the option of living a life of crime, which is not really an option for me, as the guilt of my consciouness would not allow for it.
I have little to none self-worth but I still have so much compassion for others..

Is it possible for me to carry on living, to find love and meaning without becoming another cog in the system? I need an alternative lifestyle, Right now I'm just rotting away.

 

[mortuarymary]

Why are you rotting away? What's the main cause?

 

[Romeo's Dying Wish]

Why are you rotting away? What's the main cause?

I'm to afraid to live, I have crippling anxeity, and I'm finding it impossible to go out and make a life for myself. I no longer have friends, they all have moved on, some married with children. It has been a decade of isolation, the pain and self-loathing is destroying me.

 

[mortuarymary]

I'm to afraid to live, I have crippling anxeity, and I'm finding it impossible to go out and make a life for myself. I no longer have friends, they all have moved on, some married with children. It has been a decade of isolation, the pain and self-loathing is destroying me.

You are not isolated on here. I've no friends, just work colleagues. The older you get the better you feel about it. Do I want people in my life, who might hurt me or use me?

 

[Romeo's Dying Wish]

You are not isolated on here. I've no friends, just work colleagues. The older you get the better you feel about it. Do I want people in my life, who might hurt me or use me?

That's true, the majority of my past friends only used me for drugs or to have a place to do drugs, but then again I do have a habbit of getting into toxic relationships (not necessarily sexual in nature, I've only "loved" once and it was a disaster). Perhaps I am better off alone, but yet I cannot deny the overwhelming desire to be needed. I spend my time alone in a dark room, and the sounds of laughter as people pass by my window brings me such pain, that I wish to destroy myself. They make life look so easy, and I make it so difficult. Why won't I allow myself to live?

 

[mortuarymary]

I miss it. I'd love to go for a coffee with someone other than my dogs. But I live in a small town where I know no one. I have a partner but I'm extremely lonely. The only person I speak on the phone to is my stepdad. But, that's my life. I chose to be like this. But I do miss having that one friend.

 

[Romeo's Dying Wish]

I miss it. I'd love to go for a coffee with someone other than my dogs. But I live in a small town where I know no one. I have a partner but I'm extremely lonely. The only person I speak on the phone to is my stepdad. But, that's my life. I chose to be like this. But I do miss having that one friend.

My dog recently passed away, it was so difficult saying goodbye, he was the only reason I had to go outside.. I too live in a small town, not much to do here, everyone is either drinking, fighting or watching sports. I dream of leaving town and going to a city but I'm afraid that my anxiety will betray me and I will end up on the streets.

 

[mortuarymary]

My dog recently passed away, it was so difficult saying goodbye, he was the only reason I had to go outside.. I too live in a small town, not much to do here, everyone is either drinking, fighting or watching sports. I dream of leaving town and going to a city but I'm afraid that my anxiety will betray me and I will end up on the streets.

Stay where you are. Cities are horrid. I'm so sorry about your dog. I've got 3 and they are the reason I'm here.
it might be too soon but maybe get a rescue dog. Get you outside.

 

[Katdogg]

I agree with what you are saying. I used to make myself miserable focusing on all the terrible things happening in the world, even though I can't change any of it.

Is it wrong to live in an escapist delusion if it helps you cope?

Maybe you can try small acts of defiance against the system to make yourself feel better? ( do the minimum at work, don't drink the kool-aid at the corporate meetings, don't give your $$$ to companies you hate etc)

I live in my tiny bubble with my pets currently, but must return to being a cog soon. I feel your pain .

 

[Romeo's Dying Wish]

I agree with what you are saying. I used to make myself miserable focusing on all the terrible things happening in the world, even though I can't change any of it.

Is it wrong to live in an escapist delusion if it helps you cope?

Maybe you can try small acts of defiance against the system to make yourself feel better? ( do the minimum at work, don't drink the kool-aid at the corporate meetings, don't give your $$$ to companies you hate etc)

I live in my tiny bubble with my pets currently, but must return to being a cog soon. I feel your pain .

I already do everything in my power to defy the system. My entire lifes identity is based on rebeling against authority. At this point I am only doing damage to myself. I can't fight the system, it is far more powerful than I am. Unless I can acquire some kind of special skill like hacking. But that required too much time and energy and only made me more isolated and frustrated. My other option would be to join a motorbike club. I would have to run small errands, sell drugs and collect money, but I dont want to live a life of crime, it's just another system and I am far too nice for any of that craziness.

 

[Romeo's Dying Wish]

Attention! I'm going to start a new Post. I am new here and when I made this post I was 'venting' and focusing soley on my own problems. I'm going to rephrase my question in a way that is more open to discussion. I hope to hear more from you all. Thanks You mortuarymary for your time and patience.

 

[sserafim]

As you should. I reject society as well, I refuse to conform to its standards or participate in it. I hate this system and want to break free from it. I like to say that I'm a rebel with a cause.

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

We should join together and form a resistance

 

[ForgottenTomb]

Yes!! It is possible to find love and meaning, even before you find your place financially speaking. There is no doubt that there is a person in the same position as you in society wondering where the hell a person like YOU is. Male or female. But for two reclusive, alienated people to connect to each other in real life is almost impossible. One of you will have to behave out-of-character to show yourself and open up and you'll have to see each other regularly to form a bond.

However, there is no doubt that you are needed. Not only with your kindness, but the person will appreciate the small things you have that they cannot get from any other person like mannerisms, tendencies, language, perspectives, sense of humour etc. For that person, your specific presence will be their gift. Wishing that the wait and the struggle will be worth it in the end.