I regret not dying sooner.

[blueming]

Looking at my profile now and seeing that I've been here since 2018... I want to kick myself. What was the point of all these years of suffering? My life has crumbled to the point where I'm so exhausted that I barely even have the energy to make plans to CTB anymore. Everyday things get a little worse and everyday I die a little more inside. My physical health has rapidly declined and I've lost the ability to enjoy most things. I developed a habit of pulling out my eyelashes due to stress and that just makes me even more suicidal and stressed, which makes me continue to pull out my eyelashes. Contrary to the popular pro-lifer belief, things do not always get better. I've tried. I tried so hard like everyone told me to, yet my efforts always seem to backfire. I'm beyond done now. I'm just so tired of existing. If I had succeeded in my attempt all those years ago, I could have saved myself so much unnecessary pain.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really sounds like you've suffered so much, I understand why you'd feel so tired. But anyway best wishes.

 

[F@#$]

I chickened out over 20 years ago and have regretted it every day since.

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

I should have jumped from that freaking bridge 4 years ago. There were some successful CTB cases. However, I remember I was much concerned about falling on a tree and surviving.

 

[sserafim]

Same. I wish I had died already. I feel like I wasn't meant to live this long. I'm not going to live past 25 though

 

[divinemistress36]

I feel this so much . I tried so hard to and nothing good came out of it. We deserve a peaceful death for all the pain we have had to endure

 

[homesoon.]

What was the point of all these years of suffering?

I ask myself the same thing sometimes. There are moments where I wish I just did it years ago when I first started wanting to CBT, except I would of also hoped that I did something better than almost choosing to overdose because it's such an ineffective method. I could have saved myself a lot of heartache.

I'm sorry you're going through so much, physically and emotionally. I wish nothing but the best for you.

 

[Timothy7dff]

Join the club.