I really want to die but I don't know how...

[AbandonedGirl]

3 weeks I tried overdosing on Benadryl mixed around 500mg with 250mg of Valium and some other sleeping pill (Im 25 F 5'4'' 64kgs) but my failure of self just ended sleeping for 2 days.
I really don't want to live anymore. My borderline is not reacting to any treatment whatsoever and in my country (Serbia) we do not have assisted suicide of any sort. I live with my grandparents and my grandma is too paranoid because of my previous attempts (please don't type in comments "think about (insert person)"I am thinking about them but I am in a lot of emotional pain.
I need something that will off me really quickly, like in few hours during the night.
I have access to the following drugs:
Carbamazepine, Valium, Fluoxetine and Mirtazapine. I can buy some Benadryl.
I cannot take anything from alcohol besides beer because it makes me want to throw up because of previous attempts.
Is it even possible to die this way, or am I trying in vain? There is really no other way for me to attempt cuz everyone is at home 24/7 and going somewhere they know I am up to no good. Idk what to do. Is there a chance?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Probably this is not what you want to hear but those meds will most likely not lead to CTB. With an OD you may end up in a hospital instead. I hope you can find peace!

 

[90starve]

unfortunately, CTB via OD is notoriously unreliable.

have you considered the CO method? it's perhaps not something you'd want to do inside at risk of harming your grandparents health, but a camping trip can be used as a cover story.

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