I realized that people around me would not care if I die.

[idontwantthisplease]

When my dad confronted me about my suicidal thoughts, I honestly expected him to be concerned about my mental health and help me get professional support. Instead, the first thing he told me was that he was worried about how expensive my funeral would be if I actually went through with it.

Then, instead of acknowledging what I was struggling with especially how difficult things can be for me as a neurodivergent person he told me to read the bible.

My mom is worse because she believes that going to a psychiatrist is incredibly shameful, hearing that when I was already struggling was incredibly hurtful. I didn't need to be made to feel like a financial burden or told to simply turn to religion, they won't try to acknowledge my declining mental state and my neurodivergence. I needed someone to recognize that I was genuinely struggling and help me get the support I needed but NO, none of them did.

I'm a 19 yr old that has audhd, no friends, broke as hell in a poor household, my parents made me drop out of college just because I failed in my accounting subject. I'm also a digital artist who's trying to live off by doing art commissions but my fucking mother won't stop asking me about my earnings and will demand that I give her my earnings to her in the future. I guess this is the curse of being an introverted and mentally ill 19 yr old living with their parents in their 60's.

I'm from the philippines and I need SN asap. feel free to message me if you'd like to. This is also my first vent post here.

 

[balladeer]

This reminded me of the day my father saw my sh scars and the only thing that came to his mind was that "this is sinful" thanks man

 

[3rdworldsadness]

I'm sorry but your parents are mentally unhealthy, abusive and very selfish just like my mom.... it's Really hard to keep going with those people cause they will drain your energy and would make you believe it's your fault when they bring us in this horrible world and system. I hope you can find peace and leave them. I live with my mom too and it's embarrassing that she made me believe things I never done, I never got opportunities nothing cause yeah that's the 3rd life you get in a 3rd world country. My parents were uneducated and ignorant too . It's like they believe and imposes the things that the system provides them like money, stay in competition, work your ass off give them money, take care them be their slave if not get blamed. It's not your fault, it's your parents and systems fault for being like this.

Take care. Peace.

 

[idontwantthisplease]

I'm sorry but your parents are mentally unhealthy, abusive and very selfish just like my mom.... it's Really hard to keep going with those people cause they will drain your energy and would make you believe it's your fault when they bring us in this horrible world and system. I hope you can find peace and leave them. I live with my mom too and it's embarrassing that she made me believe things I never done, I never got opportunities nothing cause yeah that's the 3rd life you get in a 3rd world country. My parents were uneducated and ignorant too . It's like they believe and imposes the things that the system provides them like money, stay in competition, work your ass off give them money, take care them be their slave if not get blamed. It's not your fault, it's your parents and systems fault for being like this.

Take care. Peace.

I believe that I was likely an accident because I am born in their 40's (I'm the youngest out of 4 siblings)

my parents are ignorant as hell too, they believe in superstitions, ppl's bs, and the worst of all fake AI vids and images. I rlly do hope that I can earn enough money through my art to live on my own.

the system sucks because it's designed for neurotypical ppl, my parents are too narrow minded so there's no hope of convincing them to understand me. Aside from all of that, your words made me feel better, I'm so glad for taking your time to read my post. Thank you so much.

 

[rainatthebusstop]

I'm gonna say something controversial: never tell a deeply religious person you are suicidal. Especially Christians. There's something just incredibly anti empathetic going on with them, where the belief in Jesus has magically made them think they are better than you, and that your suicidal ideation makes you on par with Satan. Or at least that's the horse shit that most Christians have peddled to me when I let it slip that I want to kill myself.

That being said, I'm very sorry to hear about that. I hope you can at least try to apply somewhere else so that you may move out of their home before you do anything. Holding down a job while having AuDHD sucks shit but it seems like it beats living with your parents. At least you won't be around energy leeches the whole time.

 

[idontwantthisplease]

I'm gonna say something controversial: never tell a deeply religious person you are suicidal. Especially Christians. There's something just incredibly anti empathetic going on with them, where the belief in Jesus has magically made them think they are better than you, and that your suicidal ideation makes you on par with Satan. Or at least that's the horse shit that most Christians have peddled to me when I let it slip that I want to kill myself.

That being said, I'm very sorry to hear about that. I hope you can at least try to apply somewhere else so that you may move out of their home before you do anything. Holding down a job while having AuDHD sucks shit but it seems like it beats living with your parents. At least you won't be around energy leeches the whole time.

I've had far worse experiences with my dad telling me that it's a bad spirit's doing when I talk back to my mom while I'm in a bad mood, while he himself is looking at almost nude pics of "AI" women on his phone...what a hypocrite.

My dad actually forced me to tell him about my suicidal thoughts aaand it just got worse, like from what you said and what I mentioned in my post.

I'm trying to earn through my art or even get a job so I can eventually get out of that environment. Thank you for caring though, I really mean it.

 

[CowardlyLies]

I believe that I was likely an accident because I am born in their 40's (I'm the youngest out of 4 siblings)

my parents are ignorant as hell too, they believe in superstitions, ppl's bs, and the worst of all fake AI vids and images. I rlly do hope that I can earn enough money through my art to live on my own.

I relate with you so much. My parents also had me in their 40's and 50's which is super fucking selfish of them because of the increased risk of mental illness. They gave me shitty fucking genetics and are so ignorant as well. I never felt safe to ask for help and they just don't understand mental health.

 

[idontwantthisplease]

I relate with you so much. My parents also had me in their 40's and 50's which is super fucking selfish of them because of the increased risk of mental illness. They gave me shitty fucking genetics and are so ignorant as well. I never felt safe to ask for help and they just don't understand mental health.

Mine's much worse because they wanted me to excel in school so I can have a high paying job and make me their own piggy bank. Ofcourse I didn't excel just like my peers do because I'm autistic, I can't understand social cues that much so that's why I'm a loner.

Since I'm going to turn 20 this october, my only option is to ctb if I hadn't earned enough money to live on my own.