I pray it fails

[ikadasui]

I'll frequently put my 45 to my head and pull the trigger with the safety on and I just always hops it fails. it'd of course be better to take it off and frankly, no idea why I don't. it's beyond abysmal and anything I do want won't happen till ext year. that's days, weeks and months of misery and most certainly not worth it. just fucking get it done already please...

 

[strawberry_lemons]

human nature is scared by change and permance. death is both those. you are hurting and you want an out but it is still something that is rightfully terrifying. i wish you the best in every way <3

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I don't think it's a good idea putting a gun up to your head "not seriously" and squeezing a trigger in hopes that the safety might fail. What if you don't have the gun in the correct spot and it happens to go off, just like you wish, but instead of killing you, it only maims you, and you become incapacitated in some way, maybe a vegetable, unable to remove yourself from this new "reality" you've created for yourself? It's not worth it. I think if you want to kill yourself you need to be serious about it. It's not something you want to happen through happenstance, or luck of the draw, as the case may be. I'm not a fan of shooting yourself in the side of the head, anyway, as I think the outcome is just too uncertain. But, the way you're doing it just adds more uncertainty as to the outcome. That's just my 2 cents, so take it for what it's worth. I hope you can find clarity about what you truly want and can get to the peace you deserve, no matter how you need to get there.

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

i wish i had a gun