I ordered about a week ago. Delivery was estimated yesterday. I've been tracking the parcel and it's been at custom for the past 2 days.
This is my first properly planned attempt. All of the other failed because they were impulsive. I've recently got myself on the radar of local police and services, and I don't think I can talk myself out of another welfare check or mental health act assessment.
I'm so fucking angry at myself for being so impulsive, for bringing all this attention to myself and not just staying under the radar. I wish I had a brain that thought things through. Scrap that, I wish I had a brain that experienced the joy in joyful moments, rather than just a body that experiences the physical symptoms of happiness without the actual emotion.
I'm so tired. I'm under the care of a service and all they do is inaccurately record conversations, so a picture is built up of a person that I'm just not. When I first went under them I wanted to get better, but they've messed it all up, and so I don't want to get better anymore, because I don't think it's possible.
I really hope this KN gets cleared, because I don't know what I'm going to do if it doesn't. I can't end up in a hospital again.
This is my first properly planned attempt. All of the other failed because they were impulsive. I've recently got myself on the radar of local police and services, and I don't think I can talk myself out of another welfare check or mental health act assessment.
I'm so fucking angry at myself for being so impulsive, for bringing all this attention to myself and not just staying under the radar. I wish I had a brain that thought things through. Scrap that, I wish I had a brain that experienced the joy in joyful moments, rather than just a body that experiences the physical symptoms of happiness without the actual emotion.
I'm so tired. I'm under the care of a service and all they do is inaccurately record conversations, so a picture is built up of a person that I'm just not. When I first went under them I wanted to get better, but they've messed it all up, and so I don't want to get better anymore, because I don't think it's possible.
I really hope this KN gets cleared, because I don't know what I'm going to do if it doesn't. I can't end up in a hospital again.
