Venting i only deserve death

[coolbeans]

i genuinely believe that there is no "true evil" or "true good" and that everyone is compiled of good and bad beliefs and behavior, but... when it comes to myself, i truely believe that there's not much i could do to redeem myself.

as a teenager i used to find adults that i assumed to be autistic and/or bipolar and give them so much attention that they begin to depend on me. because they were dependent on me, they'd usually begin to let me be increasingly romantic and push boundaries that they'd usually have with someone underage. i did this because i liked making them feel guilty, i liked feeling powerful over other people. i did this multiple times with multiple different victims, online and irl. i don't think that, as an adult, i could redeem myself in any meaningful way.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

What you did was definitely horrible but you acknowledge that it was wrong and accept that it makes you a bad person. That automatically makes you far better than a lot of people, most that harm or take advantage of people aren't even willing to acknowledge what they did. If it makes you feel any better you really aren't the pinnacle of evil, there are far more malicious people out there that have done far worse than you. And I'm not entirely sure why you did that but it's possible it wasn't out of sadistic intent. And there could be some underlying reason you enjoyed that kind of attention from those people.

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

"If you feel guilty and worry about not being a good person, then it's a sign that you are a good person, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise; bad people don't think about such things, and instead justify themselves and their actions as righteous." ~Suncha Ferriera/Psalm 51:17

 

[coolbeans]

What you did was definitely horrible but you acknowledge that it was wrong and accept that it makes you a bad person. That automatically makes you far better than a lot of people, most that harm or take advantage of people aren't even willing to acknowledge what they did. If it makes you feel any better you really aren't the pinnacle of evil, there are far more malicious people out there that have done far worse than you. And I'm not entirely sure why you did that but it's possible it wasn't out of sadistic intent. And there could be some underlying reason you enjoyed that kind of attention from those people.

"If you feel guilty and worry about not being a good person, then it's a sign that you are a good person, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise; bad people don't think about such things, and instead justify themselves and their actions as righteous." ~Suncha Ferriera/Psalm 51:17

thank both of you, this means a lot to me (probably more than it should lol)

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

thank both of you, this means a lot to me (probably more than it should lol)

You'd be surprised the impact the woman made on me when I worked for her.