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lostangel

lostangel

Enlightened
Mar 22, 2019
1,051
I just think maybe in 10 years things could be different. If I would, to be honest, I have been crying every day for the past few months, maybe six. I'm not exaggerating. I'm upset now. There have been days where I didn't cry at all but for the most part, I have been crying. Living right now is quite painful mentally. I just wonder if there is a possibility where I can actually be happy.

I feel nothing but despair. I don't get how people can live and be happy. I just feel my life is not worth living. I often fantasize about having someone in real life who I can hug and talk to but there is no-one.

I don't think I am going to make it to the other end. I feel sooner or later I will depart and unfortunately, nobody would miss me for that long. Maybe two weeks at best.

Thank you for reading.
 
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Eridanos

Eridanos

Confused
Feb 24, 2020
51
When people tell me "things will get better" I always feel a sense of unease. As far as I am concerned things will almost never go better. Even if they did, it doesn't mean that I could be happy forever meaning that sooner or later I will feel just as I feel right now, if not worse.
Maybe living means working and hoping in a few sparse moments of happiness, but if that's so, right now I don't feel like it being worth it.
 
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O

oopswronglife

Elementalist
Jun 27, 2019
870
I just said that to someone...that I don't know if it is even possible anymore even if everything physical and practical were fixed today, after an insufferably long time wanting that or some shred of it. I fear I have crossed some one way threshold that I have been clawing and screaming at for so many years. Of course I'd still prefer healed or better than this but I am mostly just hopeless. I guess if given the chance I'd still try, but I don't feel like its likely going to change anything anymore. For a long time I did and wanted that more than anything. I am just so exhausted now. I am definitely not someone who will ever be ok or even euphoric over this...more like just glad I don't have to hurt anymore mixed with such deep sadness I cannot describe it. The world is so bad, most people are so bad, even if my health was not a problem I can't unsee what I have seen and while I am sure I could survive if healthy....I'd never be "happy"...just doing my best to find the small good bits amongst the horrors...which is maybe the best it ever gets.
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
I don't know the definition of happy. I know contentment, but not happiness.
 
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GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Jan 11, 2020
6,726
Happiness is a condition, and all conditions change. I think the best one can hope for is equanimity in most conditions, resilience, and the ability to be happy when conditions are conducive to experiencing it. I think equanimity and resilience make happiness more possible to experience when the supportive conditions arise. The Stoics sought eudaimonia, well-being, same as Gautama Buddha; this is more closely aligned to bliss and peacefulness.
 
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UpandDownPrincess

UpandDownPrincess

Elementalist
Dec 31, 2019
833
I know that happy lives exist. I see them. I know people with wonderful lives full of well-adjusted, productive and positive people. They might be rare, but these people do exist.

The hard part for me has always been to wonder if it's somehow my fault that I'm not one of them.
 
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I

Indieblue

Experienced
Feb 10, 2020
204
I think only you can know the answer. Based on your experience, what you struggle with, your circumstances, you can assume/ imagine or predict what your life will be. When someone says "it will get better" they are talking about themselves. About their experience, not you.
 
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L

Lost4toolong

Member
Feb 29, 2020
66
"The pursuit of happiness" good quote. Great movie. Have you seen? I recommend. On to my point. Through analyzation of this phrase we are left to believe that happiness is not fully obtainable. That its something simply to be pursued. Chased and sought after. If you believe this, if momentary happiness is the epitome (the highest point) of happiness achievable, then we all know what it is to be happy. In life. We all get happy even if its after months of darkness, even if its over the most trivial thing like tasting ice cream for the first time in a while. That may very well be the very definition of happiness. Its just a matter of if thats enough for you
 
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EndItQuickly

EndItQuickly

Member
Oct 30, 2019
88
I'll never forget this moment:

I was in the 6th grade and we had just moved to a new state. We were crammed in a cheap hotel room for the next couple of days and needless to say I was depressed and anxious about my life being flipped on its head, leaving friends, familiarity and comfort etc.

My uncle(who had always been very jovial) called my dad in distress with the news that his wife was divorcing him. My father was uncharacteristically cold to his brother and then I heard my uncle say, "I'm just so unhappy, I feel like I'll never be happy again" to which my dad callously replied, "is anyone ever actually happy?" The call awkwardly ended shortly after that.

Probably through the combination of my age, current stressful situation and mental state I really absorbed those words. I really wasn't ever the same again...I see this scene playing in my head with ridiculous clarity literally every day of my life.

So, to answer your question I think that some of us can never live happily. Even during moments that should elicit happiness, there's always the dark cloud of reality floating in your periphery.
 
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terry_a_davis

terry_a_davis

Warlock
Dec 28, 2019
707
Life can change op. To get to a happier place may require some effort or luck but it's usually effort. You might be mentally ill which might hinder this.
 
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OneBigBlur

OneBigBlur

Experienced
Nov 30, 2019
231
Everyone has different circumstances and different tools to deal with the obstacles in their life, only you can decide if happiness is a reasonable and attainable goal. For some people it isn't and I personally believe that you have to be extremely fortunate and delusional about the world we live in to have any kind of happiness. I've been alive for almost 30 years now and I don't have a single good moment to look back on, life is really about how lucky you are from the start of it and to the end of it.

Anyways, I think you might like what this quote has to say about happiness in our society:

"Living happily" itself is a myth. Nobody on this floating rock is consistently "happy" every single day unless there is something seriously neurologically wrong with them that makes them that way. Life itself is inherently suffering - this isn't some edgy edict, it's the fundamental nature of the human condition; we are animals, and moreso social animals, which, not unlike elephants, zebras, dolphins, cows, or donkeys, are biologically wired and adapted to chasing short-term fulfillment, and avoiding pain and suffering - to the degree we experience and remember negative feelings and experiences far, far deeper and longer than we do positive experiences. This is the telltale sign of our inescapable animal nature - the hardwiring that makes suffering so inherently unavoidable, and pleasure seemingly so elusive.

Boiling the phenomena of NEETdom down to "mental health" is a reductionistic fairy tale that completely ignores the context of modern life in favor of hyperindividualizing the consequences of that context down to the individual and leaving it there. Speaking of context - the factors you mention are not as much of an immunological force as you imagine. Our society is one rife with celebrity suicides, who so many see as the "winners" of our silly game - they have money, prestige, recognition, fulfillment, endless fancy toys and achievements - and yet still cannot escape the call to the void - which, if anything, speaks to the fact we spend our lives chasing things that really do not make our lives all that worthwhile in the end. Sure, it's nice to be clock in to your 9-5 every day and pat yourself on the back and tell yourself you're doing the right thing like everyone else, but this is the life of an obedient somnambulant - one we are conditioned for in this society. You know the script - go to school, work until you're old, save and scrimp the whole way through, retire, and go rot in an old folks home using the money you've hoarded your whole life. This might be a fulfilling life for an inanimate machine part that cannot feel and is not alive, but for a social animal that needs environmental enrichment and belonging and meaning to feel any kind of consistent fulfillment, it is a slow death. This isn't to say NEETdom is some grand alternative - it is the final consequence of this meaningless life program - narcissized depression and almost total alienation, whereby one practically declares themselves dead to the outside world and escapes deeper and deeper inside themselves as a solace, until the crushing emptiness of isolation and loneliness destroys their ability to experience pleasure and often their will to live. This is typically because of the self-isolating shame that attaches itself to the status. As social animals, we need people in our lives to feel any degree of worthwhile. Interpersonal interaction injects our lives with a kind of meaning and fulfillment that all the technology, distractions and drugs cannot. Unemployment and NEETdom would not nearly be as bad if not for the immense social stigma, and if we could all expect to live in communities we felt a part of, or at the very least had friends who cared about us outside of our job title. Unfortunately, this is not the nature of our hyperindividualized, materialistic, and vain society whereby one increasingly derives their (narcissized) sense of self-worth and status from their ability to consume and brag about said consumption. Instead, we live in a time where over half of the population reports always feeling lonely and having few if any friends, 1/6 of us are on psychotropic drugs, and the suicide rate hasn't been this high in 30 years.

All the same - this doesn't make "successful" people failures. But it also doesn't make NEETs "failures", at least in any individual sense. The failure is society itself - in providing an insane sociocultural script that makes people incredibly sick; if I could call NEETdom anything, anything at all, I'd call it the canary in the coal mine for a society that is providing an age old lifescript that is no longer worthwhile, rewarding, or even meaningful in any sense - nor does it even guarantee the barest physical necessities for participation anymore; recall that wages have been stagnant for 40 years and we have wealth inequality levels that mimic those found prior to the Great Depression, what becomes all the more clear is that modern life is the new Great Depression. This is a dreadfully sick post-meaning society where mass shootings, panoptic surveillance, suicide, opiate abuse, loneliness, and alienation have become as commonplace as psychotropic drugs and psych diagnoses; which, if anything, says nothing more than that the very concept of "mental illness" is a desperate attempt by the system to hold on to it's collapsing validity by pointing at dissidents and shouting "they have some inherent biological illness that makes them this way!" As such, the realm of modern day psychology/psychiatry has become no more than another long arm of the corporatocratic, neoliberal police state, which has a part in allowing modern-day quality of life to continue it's decades long slow bleed to the sociopathic class - the wealthy and powerful.

We must think of NEETdom, depression, and a wide scope of psychological maladies as meaningful signals our bodies are sending us about the ways we conduct our lives nowadays, not as noise that is to be ignored and medicated away. -David Foxxxy
 
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S

s1mplem3

Arcanist
Mar 4, 2020
454
I think it is possible but not for everyone, CTB is just easier in our world.
 
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Mustkeyknow

Mustkeyknow

Experienced
Feb 8, 2020
275
Everyone has different circumstances and different tools to deal with the obstacles in their life, only you can decide if happiness is a reasonable and attainable goal. For some people it isn't and I personally believe that you have to be extremely fortunate and delusional about the world we live in to have any kind of happiness. I've been alive for almost 30 years now and I don't have a single good moment to look back on, life is really about how lucky you are from the start of it and to the end of it.

Anyways, I think you might like what this quote has to say about happiness in our society:
This is so true and yet there's absolutely nothing that can be done about it.
 
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E

Esc9434

Experienced
Feb 25, 2020
272
If you are selfish and enjoy the base primitive things of life (shallow friendships, sex, drugs, and fun), then yes. Many people live like this already.

If you find your purpose in the world where you are doing something you are good at, then yes.

Otherwise, find someone who you love, someone who you can live for. Keep your head down, doing your favorite hobby.
 
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AlreadyGone

AlreadyGone

Taking it day by day
Jan 11, 2020
917
Everyone has different circumstances and different tools to deal with the obstacles in their life, only you can decide if happiness is a reasonable and attainable goal. For some people it isn't and I personally believe that you have to be extremely fortunate and delusional about the world we live in to have any kind of happiness. I've been alive for almost 30 years now and I don't have a single good moment to look back on, life is really about how lucky you are from the start of it and to the end of it.

Anyways, I think you might like what this quote has to say about happiness in our society:

This!
 
Istanbulite

Istanbulite

Member
Jan 14, 2022
564
There are no happy lives, there are happy moments. It's up to us to make them plenty.
 
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