Venting I never had a "normal" life

[Grimscribe]

Everytime I check social media and see old acquaintances posting about having partners, going to parties, achieving goals, I get depressed and that eventually triggers my suicidal thoughts. I never had any of that in my life, it makes me see how much I missed out on. I had people around me, but I didn't feel part of any group of friends. I was always feeling like a cancer that no one really cares about, but it's just there, either in school or university. I doubt I'll ever get it now since I'm well into my 20s and the chances of adquiring these things are getting smaller and smaller. Makes me cry sometimes, thinking of the impossible possibilities.

 

[Baron]

I had everything and I rejected everything. Why do I reject life but at the same time still live? Quiet ironic if you ask me. I realized that I am the reason for all my pain. I am the one who causes my despair, but I don't do anything about it. It's like I'm just existing to exist. I don't have a purpose anymore and I never had one