HarpoMarx
Member
- Jan 28, 2021
- 44
My GF (soon ex gf) thinks that is fair too split our (my) two cats - 1 for me, 1 for her, once we break up.
My plan is to move back to Europe from Asia sooner than later, with both of them. The cats are literally mine, I have done all for them, its only me who takes care of them, and they literally saved my life in this lonely place I am.
They "came from the sky": one of them actually was in her family house, and I rescued him from them (they never really cared about him). The second one is feral, I decided to adopt him while my GF was saying NO to me all the time. I ignored her and i brought him home too. Paradox: now she wants to keep this cat.
She is kind with them, like a friend who visits you often, but they are not the center of her life, and she is clear about that every single day: she complains so much about how expensive they are (i buy them the best food I can afford), how they changed our whole life (not allowing us to travel that often anymore), and things like that.
I told her I understand that she might love them and care for them in some way, and that it wouldnt be easy to accept to separate from them forever. its normal. They have been with us 2 and 1 year each. And I could really do the effort of separating of one of them, as I also consider it to be fair, if I knew that the cats would be the center for her life too (i dont mean like an obssession, but in a responsible way: feeding, caring and not abandoning). No conditions. Total commitment until the moment they pass away (which shouldnt happen soon). Im sure that she would give up on them soon or later, as she did two years ago with a dog she had when she moved to Europe.
How can I convince her about what is best for the cats? Actually she knows it, and she tried to convince me that she would commit. Im really only thinking about the cats wellbeing and happiness. Im not a selfish person. I would accept to come back alone to Europe if that was an option. In the end, it was never my decision to have pets 12.000km away from the home I would come back to soon or later. Im just an animal person and I couldnt refuse to save them. I guess at that time I didnt really think I would separate from my gf someday.
These cats are literally my life now. My only social life, and my motivation to keep having a normal life. I kind of agreed yesterday on giving up on the latest cat I adopted. But today I cannot swallow that anymore. Im pretty sure she wont commit with the cat for 10,12 or 15 years. She cant. She is not mature enough, and animals are not that important for her.
What would you do? how would you convince her? I dont want to talk about this to my family yet, and my friends just suggest me to pack with the cats and leave whenever Im ready. My gf hasnt been really bad to me (just too emotional), so I dont think she deserves that. That's not an option.
Thank you for reading me. And I know that for some of you this might not be a serious issue. If that's your case, I prefer not to read your opinion. I respect non animals people (until the moment the harm animals), but I dont need them here.
My plan is to move back to Europe from Asia sooner than later, with both of them. The cats are literally mine, I have done all for them, its only me who takes care of them, and they literally saved my life in this lonely place I am.
They "came from the sky": one of them actually was in her family house, and I rescued him from them (they never really cared about him). The second one is feral, I decided to adopt him while my GF was saying NO to me all the time. I ignored her and i brought him home too. Paradox: now she wants to keep this cat.
She is kind with them, like a friend who visits you often, but they are not the center of her life, and she is clear about that every single day: she complains so much about how expensive they are (i buy them the best food I can afford), how they changed our whole life (not allowing us to travel that often anymore), and things like that.
I told her I understand that she might love them and care for them in some way, and that it wouldnt be easy to accept to separate from them forever. its normal. They have been with us 2 and 1 year each. And I could really do the effort of separating of one of them, as I also consider it to be fair, if I knew that the cats would be the center for her life too (i dont mean like an obssession, but in a responsible way: feeding, caring and not abandoning). No conditions. Total commitment until the moment they pass away (which shouldnt happen soon). Im sure that she would give up on them soon or later, as she did two years ago with a dog she had when she moved to Europe.
How can I convince her about what is best for the cats? Actually she knows it, and she tried to convince me that she would commit. Im really only thinking about the cats wellbeing and happiness. Im not a selfish person. I would accept to come back alone to Europe if that was an option. In the end, it was never my decision to have pets 12.000km away from the home I would come back to soon or later. Im just an animal person and I couldnt refuse to save them. I guess at that time I didnt really think I would separate from my gf someday.
These cats are literally my life now. My only social life, and my motivation to keep having a normal life. I kind of agreed yesterday on giving up on the latest cat I adopted. But today I cannot swallow that anymore. Im pretty sure she wont commit with the cat for 10,12 or 15 years. She cant. She is not mature enough, and animals are not that important for her.
What would you do? how would you convince her? I dont want to talk about this to my family yet, and my friends just suggest me to pack with the cats and leave whenever Im ready. My gf hasnt been really bad to me (just too emotional), so I dont think she deserves that. That's not an option.
Thank you for reading me. And I know that for some of you this might not be a serious issue. If that's your case, I prefer not to read your opinion. I respect non animals people (until the moment the harm animals), but I dont need them here.
