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YandereMikuMistress

YandereMikuMistress

you say falling victim to myself is weak,so be it
Apr 26, 2023
143
I wish kayden wasn't such an asshole man, somtimes it's so hard to just let it unfaz me I cry over somone who doesn't care, I cry over my brother who doesn't fucking care, I can't force it but when the one I looked up to for there strength doesn't believe in me,, he resents me, and I just love him, all i got is family, but,
It was me who started this distance between us, I care about your opinion more then just about anyone, only family's opinions are what really matter to me, the only thing that really effects me is you and I won't ever get to see you smile at me with love, with care, I do this I do this I do it to myself I stop talking, I dissappear because I don't want to expose you to what I am, to my emotions other then love, other then positivity, I know your going through a constant state of anger and pain and I ruined your love for me in the process, but fucking love you even though you don't, I look at are last photo together where you had a genuine smile for me as I had one for you and do still to this day,, Your fucked up and do all you can to tear down somone with just your words, but you go about so much more cruelly with family,, but I get why, but I miss you I miss your smile I miss your reassurance that you genuinely love me that you don't hate me, please please I know I won't receive that confirmation but i hope you know that I love you, I really love you kayden your my big brother, it's such a strange relationship with are family huh,, I know you'd laugh and pat me on the shoulder with a beer in your other hand,, i think about you everyday, im sorry I couldn't be better as much as I try I fall further evertime but now I don't even have you, not that I have for awhile now, If there was anything I could do to have you tell me you love me without having it be forced, id do whatever it takes, yet your so lost yourself, how could I ever recive your love like before when we are all ruined, how could I even consider the idea.
 
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