I need to recover or else...

[anonbpdgirl]

How do I even try recovery?

I have someone I love very much depending on my ability to stay alive. And I very much don't want to hurt them, despite how suicidal and without hope I am.

So... how do I recover? How do I get better? How do I stop this?

 

[Santiago]

It depends on your situation. What makes you want to kill yourself?

 

[Cookiedough8956]

For me personally is to take a few weeks to sort one self out. List some goals, some desires, hobbies.
And get started on them or a plan to start on them
Let the person u mentioned know as well. So you have. A support and a reminder as to why you're doing it.

Then..once you got ur plans sorted.
It would be time to seek professional help.

 

[anonbpdgirl]

It depends on your situation. What makes you want to kill yourself?

I have BPD and the NHS refuses to give me any sort of treatment, be it medication or therapy. I can't afford to go private. I can't afford anything, barely even the roof over my head. I have no friends; they have all abandoned me. I am not close with my family and besides, my mother abused me. I am going nowhere in life and have no options to further myself. I have little want or care. I am fat. I am ugly. I disparage a the state of our society and world. There seems little hope at all.

For me personally is to take a few weeks to sort one self out. List some goals, some desires, hobbies.
And get started on them or a plan to start on them
Let the person u mentioned know as well. So you have. A support and a reminder as to why you're doing it.

Then..once you got ur plans sorted.
It would be time to seek professional help.

I have tried this many a time before... and I can't get professional help.

 

[Sweet emotion]

How do I even try recovery?

I have someone I love very much depending on my ability to stay alive. And I very much don't want to hurt them, despite how suicidal and without hope I am.

So... how do I recover? How do I get better? How do I stop this?

Seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist is the first thing to do.
Ok I just read you have no money for that. Then I honestly don't know what to tell you. This is why I get aggravated when people say money isn't the most important thing in the world. Well in your case it would help a great deal. Health and money are the two most important things in the world and if anyone says money isn't they're lying. I'm so sorry you can't get help. Because you need and eserve it.

 

[anonbpdgirl]

Seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist is the first thing to do.
Ok I just read you have no money for that. Then I honestly don't know what to tell you. This is why I get aggravated when people say money isn't the most important thing in the world. Well in your case it would help a great deal. Health and money are the two most important things in the world and if anyone says money isn't they're lying. I'm so sorry you can't get help. Because you need and eserve it.

I agree. I once dated someone who said "money doesn't give you happiness" - but in my case? It literally could! Money buys therapy! Money buys meds! Money buys good care and recovery! It annoyed me a lot lol.

 

[exhausted]

Have you tried support groups?

 

[End Piece]

Honestly, I would walk away from this site. I know it's what I have to do. Until then, you're going to have one foot in and what foot out of life. I would also look into books on DBT.